- Do you ever feel like you're at the mercy of everything
and everyone around you.
And when stuff that you don't like happens,
you become cranky and irritable.
And there's always a reason, right?
Sometimes it's that the weather is gloomy outside
or PMS has you easily agitated and annoyed,
or your partner is in a mood,
so you have to, or your mother-in-law made that comment,
or your family sent you that annoying video,
or your kid is whining and clinging all day
or your boss or the stock market or the news or traffic.
The truth is that there are so many imperfections
and facts of life that aren't necessarily
our preferred realities.
People will behave in all sorts of ways
that we don't prefer.
And there is so much beyond our control,
like the news, the stock market, the weather,
but given our emotional state to anything on the outside
is giving away our power.
It's giving the keys to our kingdom over
to something as trifling as the weather,
or as random as a two year olds tantrums.
The truth is that we get to decide how to feel
because we get to decide what to allow to infiltrate
we get in past our protective bubble.
When we let outside influences,
shape how we show up day to day, how we feel,
we're letting excuses run the show.
We're not taking responsibility for how we show up
to our one precious life.
When we pin our irritability on being hungry
or being tired or having too much work,
we're allowing all the minutiae of our lives to affect
who we are as people and how we show up to affect
and shape how we feel throughout the day on a deeper level.
When we allow ourselves to be offended
by other people's comments
or allow our mood to be deeply affected by the rain,
or allow ourselves to speak sharply to the people
that we love, because PMS, we are giving away our power,
making excuses, giving into victim mindset
and shocking our responsibility to show up
as our best selves, no one and nothing on the outside
has the power to make you feel anything.
You get to choose what to feel,
the truth is that we can detach an emotional reaction
to the vast majority of outside influences.
When we realize that we alone have the power to decide
what to focus on, how to interpret events and reality,
we never need to deny the reality or ignore the facts.
The toddler may indeed be having a tantrum.
You may in fact have PMS
and there might be really big events in the news,
but the facts are just the facts they're just the reality.
We decide what meaning we attached to those facts
and how much we allow them to penetrate our consciousness
and burst our feeling good bubble.
We are allowed to and have the power to,
stay inside a feel good bubble,
even in the phase of the most morbid and grief facts.
It's an uncomfortable truth,
but ancient wisdom teachings have always known this.
So how about we set up an 80/20 rule right here
because none of us are gurus and Zen Masters,
of course, we're gonna be influenced a little bit
by the news and the weather and outside influences
and what other people think.
So allow yourself that 20% of being influenced
of being swayed of getting irritable,
that your partner, the weather, the news,
your hormonal fluctuations, the fact of life,
but the 80%, the 80% is yours.
The 80% is an impenetrable bubble.
It's where your power is,
it's where you ground yourself
and protect your inner experience.
It's your backbone that supports you staying strong
throughout your life.
It's where you exercise your free will
to choose how to interpret the facts of life.
What to focus on, to choose how to feel,
make that 80% feel great at all times.
And then you'll feel unshakeable in the phase of the 20%.
You will be so much less irritable,
cranky, and easily annoyed,
when you ground yourself and maintain your power
over your feel good bubble,
not fluctuate so dramatically in your emotional response
and be at the mercy of others and world events
and social media.
You will be steadier and more reliable
and show up as your best self.
(bright upbeat music)