Hi guys, it’s about ten o’clock in the morning,
I just woke up- I’m still in bed
And I’ve been inspired by CTFXE to bring you guys along with me on this day.
So I’ve got this little red camera that I’m gonna film everything with,
so let’s get going!
Oh I should probably put my glasses on so I can see.
Here we go!
So let’s see what’s happening in Manchester, any zombie apocalypses?
NO~
Pretty average day, it looks like. Gonna go into town later, should be fun.
Traaaiiiiinnnnn----
PJs! Er-Let’s go see if Dan’s awake.
Probably not.
Dan? Are you awake?
No? Can I come in?
Dan: no...
P: Does that mean yes?
Hello.
nng..Is this the day that you’re filming everything?
Yep!
No...the worst.
Get up we’ve got adventures to go on.
NEVER.
Okay. I’ll let Dan wake up.
I don’t actually think we’ve got any breakfast materials, so this should be interesting.
Ooh bran flakes, I might have to and get some better cereal.
He has arisen!
*Hiss*..no..
We don’t have any cereal.
D: No? Don’t we? P: No.
D: I have country crisps, don’t I?
P: Do you?
D: Dur dur dur dur~ P: How could I not notice that?
D: The cereal of kings. P: That is the cereal of kings.
D: I hid it from you ‘cus you eat it.
P: Ahaha..I think Tesco’s is going to arrive in a minute.
D:...Uh oh.
P: Testing testing test-
D: Huh, urgh, two trips are for pussies! Urgh-
P: That’s an achievement. They should hire you out as a pack horse
It’s like Christmas only better. Would you say this is probably our favourite time?
D: Yes. P: My favourite time.
P: Squares are the king of all crisps.
D: What the hell is this?!?!
P: Shreddies.
D: WHAT????? That’s MASSIVE!
P: *laughing* How much do we have?
D: ONE Kilogram???
P: Wow. D: We’re not a family of TEN, Phil.
P: Hehe, it was actually cheaper to get that.
D: Bloody hell! P: I don’t know where we’re gonna put it.
D: This could cure world hunger!
P: Do they have Shreddies in America? I don’t think so.
D:Holy sh--
Every morning should start off with a cup of coffee.
This is my favourite mug. Isn’t it amazing?
So I’m gonna do a cereal experiment where I mix together Shreddies and Frosted Wheats to make the Ultimate Cereal.
D: Barf. P: I think it’s gonna be nice.
To make this, you start off with some frosted wheats, as the lining of your bowl
P: -the-lining-
P: And then top it with some Shreddies.
Milk~
The breakfast of kings is complete.
So Phil, how was your cereal experiment?
It’s pretty good, I’m gonna call it Frosted Shreddies.
D: .......You do know that Frosted Shreddies is already a thing.
P: Oh yeah D: Oooohhh---
D: X factor auditions! Yeah~! Yeah~!
So I’m having a lazy morning replying to some of your comments.
A lot of them wanting you to sneeze.
D: I can’t just sneeze on demand.
P: Sneeze! It’s like BLARGHCHOO!
P: ...No comment.
P: So us internet people usually just like, browse for hours pretending it’s work.
D: And once we have assumed this position, here we remain for 14 hours.
P: Yes..*laughs* We’re gonna try and make this video slightly interesting by going into town in a minute,
P: --so I might go and have a shower in a sec.
P: Quick! Say something to the world!
Sarah said: rainbow llamas.
Sam said: Hi world.
Diane Bowlby said: Something to the world. I hope you’re pleased, Diane.
So I just got out the shower and I feel like I’m being watched.
I spend large amounts of my day playing iPhone games while wearing a towel. No~
Okay you ready for the transformation?
Transformation complete!
This is my sock choice today.
There you go Ultimecia.
Transformed~~~
D: *laughs*
D: And there we have strange ways maximum security prison. Oh yeah.
D: *whispering* rapist
P: Let’s go down the stairs. D: Let’s NOT go down the stairs.
P: It’s only..38 flights.
D: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmm........No.
P: Woah. I’ve never actually looked down there before.
D: Let’s get the lift? P: Let’s get the lift.
P: And ten hours later, we are still waiting for the lift. D: Ugh!
P: Ready? Posh lift lady voice: Going down. D: Going. Down.
P: No, don’t jump. Not again.
D: You can’t now. They’re watching~
P: The albatross. Ah-
D: So Phil what are our goals for this adventure? P: We’re gonna get some DOLLARS.
D: Yay! P: -get some lunch,
D: Dollars, lunch, I need to get some chocolates for my mum,
D: -cus it’s mother’s day, and I don’t want to go to hell.
P: Uh, sun cream.
D: Sun cream, for your albino face. P: Yep.
D: I don't need it 'cause I'm already black.
D: You see these beautiful fountains, you might think that they make the place where we live a nicer place but in fact when the wind blows it simply turns this path into a deadly gauntlet.
D: Run!
D: And by the time I'm past it I will have an afro.
P: The bridge of doom.
D: This is where our local killer troll lives.
P: Rawr! D: The tunnel of death.
D: Manchester~
P: It would be cool if like a Cloverfield style incident happened when we're filming this.
D: That would be convenient, wouldn't it?
P: It'd probably get more views.
P: The Manchester Eye.
P: This is like the main shopping centre of Manchester.
P: We're going in the Arndale aren't we? D: Are we? P: Yeah.
P: Chocolate land.
P: Ok, I want this for Easter.
D: The £70 ostrich egg P: Please.
P: What did you get your mum?
D: I got the everything selection which has Florentines and other things I'd rather eat than give her. P: Aw.
P: Can we not just eat it? *laughs*
D: *voicing woman in booth* (I guess) I'm so alone..
P: Whuu
P: I wish it was still Christmas, so we could get Christmas drinks.
P: Uhhh..
Woman: A grande Caramel Macchiato.
P: The best.
P: Foods. D: ♫ Stir stir stir stir stir stir stir stir stir yeah yeah yeah stirring stirring yeah. ♫
P: Number one in the Charts. D: *laughing* Yes.
P: Dan sits at Starbucks as if it's his own home~ D: Yap. I own this bitch.
D: I said a naughty word in front of the baby. P: Shaaaaaaaaame.
P: We're trying to decide if this is a girly iPhone cover or not. D: *laughs*
P: Do you think it is? D: Manly purple.
P: What do you think guys? D: It's kind of fuchsia and you know what fuchsia means.
P: I think it's a manlier purple than that.
P: Let's go to Afflecks Palace, transition.
P: If it's open, what time is it open till? D: Dunno. P: Ok, we'll see. Bap!
P: We seem to have encountered a problem.
P: Oh my god. D: *laughing* We're trapped forever.
D: Oh my god! P: What do we do?
D: And then they starved to death. P: *laughs*
D: Pretty Manchester.
D: Watch out for the cool gang.
D: Buy these shoes, look like an alien.
*Street music plays*
D: ♫ And we are here. Du du du duuu- ♫
D: And this is Afflecks Palace- P: Probably one of the coolest places in Manchester.
P: Maximum force! D: *laughing* This looks like the worst thing ever.
D: Yep, I think we're in the cool section.
P: They do Reese's Cereal.
D: What, really? P: Yeah. D: This sounds like the most horrificly amazing thing ever.
P: Dan is selecting PEZ. D: I offered Charlie a PEZ once and it awkwardly broke when I was trying to drop it into his hand.
P: Charlieissocoollike? D: Yes. That was an extremely awkward moment.
P: Onwards..
P: Aaahhh, I thought she was real.
P: I think we should get this..
P: A Red Dog clock.
D: ♫ Zoom on the office people looking at porn. Du du duud. ♫
D: The best.
D: *heavy breathing*
D: Phil, Phil I'm hyperventilating.
P: Why? D: It's too exciting.
P: The Pokémon cabinet of dreams.
P: This is old school.
P: Ecco the dolphin original game.
Both: *laughing* D: It was horrible though. P: I never knew what to do on it.
D: It was impossible.
D: Follow the whale.
D: *whispering* It's a firebolt.
D: D'un ou d'autre. (The one or the other.)
D: You're getting a Death Note poster? P: Maybe.
P: That's weird, it's like Final Fantasy 13 but then we have Cloud, Aerith and Zack. *laughs*
D: *japanese accent* What a genuine poster-u.
P: So what are wo gonna do with all these pezes? D: Oh, im gonna get pez-ed of my tits.
D: So what did you buy Phil? P: A Twinkie.
D: A Twinkie? I never had a Twinkie before.
P: I know, they don't sell them in the UK and just after watching Zombieland I just wanted to eat one.
D: They're in all the films, they must be magical.
D: Oh look how cool it is, sometimes I wish I was a girl.
P: That's a bit weird Dan. D: *laughs*
P: Hey Dan look, it's your mum. D: *laughs*
D: Thanks.
P: Has it actually got brains for eyes?
D: Yeey. P: Yeeeey.
P: Best selection of legs. D: With holes in them.
D: For those leg-hole perverts.
P: We're gonna pick up our Dollars now. D: We need the Dollars otherwise we had nothing to put in strippers underwear.
P: Shhh! Don't tell about that.
P: Manchester from the tunnel.
P: Uuhhh.
P: Engage.
P: More horrific legs.
D: This is what I just fan myself with in the night. P: *laughs*
P: So we're gonna turn this- D: -into shiny Dollars. P: Yeey.
P: This is what English money looks like compared to Dollars.
D: Queen.
D: So now that we have entered the darkness of night which somehow happened while we were in Marks & Spencer's *laughs* what is our final stop?
P: Shakeaway~ D: ♫ Milkshake time, milkshake time. ♫
P: That's so gonna make people throw up. D: Cloverfield, Cloverfield. Motion sickness.
D: Oh my god, monsters, monsters.
P: Noo, stop it.
P: Ok, if you don't have it in your town, Shakeaway is the best place ever.
D: It is. P: You can combine any flavour, any ingredient to make the ultimate milkshake.
D: Apart from beef, beef is not one of their milkshake ingredient. P: *laughing* No, you can't have a beef milkshake.
P: Yeeey.
P: Look at all the flavours.
P: What're you gonna get? D: Well my regular one which I always get is Butterscotch with white Maltesers floating in it which as amazing and horrifically fat as it sounds.
D: What about you Phil? P: Oreo and Daim bar.
D: Oh, Oreo and Daim is the way forward, isn't it?
P: All the ingredients.
P: You know it's a good milkshake bar where you play Streetfighter.
P: How is your Shakeaway? D: Amazing.
D: Tastes like diabetes, in the best way possible.
D: So Phil, how's the Oreo and Daim wonderment?
D: *laughs*
P: So we're in the Printworks now which is like the cool place with the cinema and all the good restaurants.
D: Although it's in the Saint Patrick's Day mode at the moment. P: Yeah, so they're getting pretty crazy tonight.
P: Do you think it's Saint Patrick's Day?
P: I think it might be.
D: Awkward DJ.
P: Nobody's dancing. D: Party in here. Whoo~
D: And Phil is in his own little world again.
D: *laughs*
D: Don't trip!
D: And we have returned~
P: Yay!
D: Do the lift dance.
P: Whoa. D: Whoa, whoa, whoa- don't do that.
D: Less enthusiastic lift dance next time please. P: I hate this normally, I don't know why I did that.
P: Ah. D: Home sweet home~
P: Yey. D: Du du duu-
P: This is why I wish we were in the world of CTFxC, cause there would be dogs barking at us as we- D: Oh we're home it's exciting-
D: Oh no, it's just us. It's just us. And the dark room. P: No, there's no dogs.
P: I has Dollars~
P: They're all so green, how do you tell the difference between them- oh that one's kinda pink.
D: I have assumed the Internet position again.
P: And there he will stay for the rest of time- D: Until 4 a.m.
P: They smell like... they smell kinda gross actually.
P: Dollar reaction.
D: Eugh, I mean I don't offend you.
D: Mmhh, democracy.
D: The perfect consistency for putting in strippers.
P: Not in strippers! In their waistband. D: *laughs*
D: Oh god, let's not go there. P: *laughs*
P: So we had some friends coming over to show that we actually had other friends... but they canceled on us.
D: (in background) Did they? P: Yeah.
D: (in background) Noo! P: Noo!
P: Uh, so I'm gonna go make something far less exciting for dinner. Woo~
P: Dan is cooking a Chinese feast. D: *singsonging* Tasty tasty stir fry.
P: Let Cameron come dine with me.
P: Did you grow the chickens themselves? D: I did.
P: So i just went to the shop 'cause we have no soy sauce but then they have no soy sauce but I felt too awkward to leave without buying anything so I bought a Kinder Egg.
D: (offscreen) You need to stop doing that!
D: Oohh! Master Chef finals. P: So intense.
*Lady on TV speaking*
P: Her voice is so epic. D: India Fisher.
D: Today, John is making a fetus vol-au-vont with ox testicle foam.
P: Ok Dan... it's Twinkie time.
D: Is it that moment?
P: Uh huh. D: Oh god, here we go.
P: I kinda smushed it in my bag, so it's a bit gross now.
D: Nice.
P: They don't look very appealing, I gotta be honest. D: No.. I don't- *laughs*
P: What does it look like?
P: A cake-y, creamy, horrible mess.
D: I really don't think you want me to say what I'm thinking. P: *laughs*
D: I'll open it.
D: Ueghh, egh. I mean you're about to eat this so- Both: Mmhh.
P: And it's also an American national treasure.
D: Yep.
P: *laughs*
P: Delicious- D: Is it supposed to be soggy?
P: Oh yeah, put your mouth all over what I'm about to eat.
D: *hardly audible* I'm opening it.
P: Mmhh. D: Enjoy.
P: Ok, here I go. I'm gonna take a big bite. D: Go on.
D: *snorts*
D: *laughs* P: It's interesting.
D: Interesting? P: I got a lot of cream in my mouth.
D: It looks like-
D: A lot of cream. *laughs*
P: Take a bite.
D: Was it horrible? P: No! It wasn't horrible, it was- it was nice, I was just like surprised by...the cream.
P: Describe your feelings.
P: *laughs*
D: Kinda tastes of.. air.
D: And weird cake.
P: What would you rate it our of a hundred?
D: ...four.
Both: *laughing*
P: We did buy it off a really strange guy. D: We did.
P: Umm- D: Probably full of rohypnol- P: And they had to get it to England somehow.
D: So it's probably like 15 months out of date which is why the cream tastes like corpses. P: *laughs*
D: Phil, how do you open a Kinder Surprise? P: I don't know.
D: *karate chop noise* Oww, my thumb, oww!
D: That did not go to plan.
P: Oh dear. D: Oww.
P: Do we have to go to A&E? D: Oh, did I even hit the egg at all? P: *laughs*
P: Well you did break it actually. D: It kind of worked.
D: Yeah. P: Yeah.
P: I wanna get the toy, I wanna get the toy.
Both: Om nom nom
D: What's in it, what's in it? P: Did you know Kinder Surprises are banned in America?
D: Really? P: Mh hm. D: Really? P: Mh hm.
D: How do you live without it?
P: We get a toy.
D: Yaay, choking hazard. P: It's aaaaaa.. hippo with a hat on.
P: It's a ganger hippo.
D: Yes!
P: I'm kinda tempted to throw the Internet onto the beanbag.
D: Give it a shot.
P: Are you ready guys? D: And then he broke the camera.
P: Strap yourselves in.
3...2...1... Batchaa!
D: *laughs* P: Yeah~
P: Was that bad?
P: As you can see, now our friends have canceled on us we've got nothing to do.
D: Yey.
P: I should probably actually- I should probably actually edit THIS video now. D: Yes.
D: And here you are, editing the video that you're watching right now, inception, inception, inception.
D: And as I don't think any of you has seen it before, this is my bedroom in cool mode-
D: ♫ We're walking in the air~ du du! ♫ I don't know why that's an appropriate song.
D: Show us your master skills. P: This is the Bubble Bobble theme.
*Plays Bubble Bobble theme*
*plays Für Elise*
P: So there you go, that was a day in the life of Dan and Phil.
D: Yes, we didn't want to go to a rollercoaster factory or anything like that and LIE 'cause this is what an actual day is like.
P: Yeah, though we do have friends, honest.
D: *laughing* Yeah, that bit kinda fell apart, didn't it? P: Yeah.
D: *mockingly* Oh Dan and Phil invited their "friends" over and they just "didn't turn up". P: That't true though!
Both: *laughing*
P: But yes, please like this video if you enjoyed this as we might do it again in the future.
P: I thought it was quite fun. D: Yes, I had a good day.
P: Ok im gonna edit this monster now, so I will see you guys tomorrow. D: *pop*
P: Maaau
D: In another episode of pimof or whatever that was. P: Pimoblablegh..