*Ryan waits for his line*
She's late...
Again.
She lives so close. What could possibly take her so long...
Hey why are you asking me all these questions?
What do I look like, a teacher, to you?
Oh, no, no. I wasn't really asking---
How the hell am I supposed know where she is? What do I look like, a GPS?
No no no no. It was a rhetorical question
What the hell is a 'red oracle' question? Speak English. What do I look like, some kind of like mathemagician?
No! I wasn't asking you directly, per say...
And now you calling me a pussy?
No no no! Per say, like---
Do I look a pussy to you?
No!
Do I like some kind of a cat?
What kind? Himalayan?
British Short Hair?
Russian Blue? What?!
You just carry around labeled pictures of cats with you all the time?
PICK!
Oo! Oh yeah, Russian Blue, I guess.
Imma Russian Blue?
I.. think..so?
Russian Blue?!
I mean.. I-I-I...
You think I am look like a Russian Blue?!
I'm still here, too.
Yeah, I can see that.
Sorry I'm late!
What took you so long?
Just my same old morning routine, you know?
Your morning routine? It's almost night!
Well, I didn't say it was a fast routine...
There's a lot of stuff for us girls to do in the morning
Don't you watch any of those make-up gurus that do all those 'My Morning Routine' videos and they basically just show everybody what they do in the morning?
Um, no. Why would anybody even wanna watch that?
BECAUSE IT'S GOOD!
Anyway, I think that's what we should do today.
Do what?
Our morning routine, so that people can appreciate how much work it is for us girls to look the way we do!
Alright, if we're really gonna do this, who wants to go first? R-Dizzle? Regina?
You want me to go?
You go first.
Regina: You want me to go, I go first and you go--- R-Dizzle: I... want---
What about me?
We are not gonna start with you, Hanate. I don't even know if you're even do yours this time.
What? Why not?
Cause I know you're gonna troll us!
Like you remember that Halloween story a while back, when it was your turn, all you said was...
I'm sorry, Hanate, how was your Halloween?
I stay home cook rice. (echoing)
See what I mean?
Because that's what I did!
Stay home cook rice!
But that's not a stor---
You know what, Regina, can you just please go?
Oh, sure.
*Clears throat*
Will you just go?
My morning routine goes a little something like this:
So, the first thing I do in the morning is wake up.
I usually try to wake up early, like around 12 or 1 PM,
But lately I have been waking up even earlier, like 11 AM from the cold,
Because my stupid boyfriend steals all the blankets from me.
So I yell at him and he just ignores me the whole time and continues to sleep which makes me really sad.
So I cry for about 5 to 10 minutes
before I realize that, "Wait, I don't have a boyfriend."
So I get over it, and that's when I head to the bathroom when the real fun begins.
I do all the boring stuff first, like turn on the shower,
brush my teeth,
brush my hair,
brush my little bush downstairs...
And then by that time, the shower's steamy enough for me to write my name in it,
so that I can take the picture for Insters and Snappies.
And then comes the fun part, my make up.
I always start with my foundation which if you don't know is pretty much just powder.
So any kind of powder works,
but personally I use flour.
because I love flo-ers, they look and smell beautiful
And once I finished that, I do my lips
and most girls like using these coloring sticks
but I prefer to lip dip,
which is a technique that's really popular in other country outside of Nevada,
but basically what you use is some fruit punch, or grape juice ,what ever color you want in a bowl,
and just dip your lips for two maybe three or four hours and you're done!
And ready to do your eyes.
Now some people call it eyeliner, some say eye shadow but it really doesn't matter because they're all the same thing.
And basically it's just the coloring of your eyeball section
and again, I know most girls like to color their eyes with coloring sticks
but I'm really not like that typical basic biatch,
so I like to use the fancier foreign brands, like Crayole
Which stay some pretty nicely
Or like sharpie which is actually waterproof and won't come off when you swim, cry, or even scrub for an hour
and if you can't afford those, I found that
you know, those little black balls that everybody gets every Christmas, works really well
I believe that brand is called charqoal or something, but that works too
and after that I am pretty much done, and ready to get the day started
so I leave the bathroom, and that's when I always see my blankets on my bed move
so I go over there thinking, "Wait, maybe I do have a boyfriend"
But when I check and remove the covers, It's not my boyfriend at all
it's me under there
I see myself sleeping, and that's when I realize I was astral projecting the whole time
so then I just wake myself up by pulling off the covers
so that I get really cold, wake up, and do it all over again!
hahh *breathes out*
so... whatcha guys think?
that was...
long
hahh, thank you!
anyway, um.. who's next?
R-Dizzle?
What?
Let's hear your morning routine
hopefully it wont be as long as Regina's though, right?
why not, you tryin' to rush my routine
What?
You rushin' me dawg, you russian me!?
Ryan: I'm not trying to rush you. R-Dizzle: what do i look like some Russian to you?!?!
ha yeah, like a Russian Blue
ha.. ha.
I don't get it
anyway, like I was saying, yeah go ahead,and just take your time, no rush
good
huh, now where was I?
where was I?
oh, I don't think you even started yet
I wasn't asking you, that was a rhetorical question, stupid!
anyway, my morning starts a little something like this
wake up, grab my phone, first thing I do
jump on that clash of clans
I harvest, GO, elixer, build groups, raid
Other building stuff
Next, Candy crush it
I get stripes, I get packets, I get chocolate with the sprinkles on top
BOOM
On to Brave, Dungeon, PaD, to the 12 hour mark
And back to the basics, then I jump right back on that CoC and repeat
Before I know it, it is night
Then I just do it all over again
So that's your full routine?
The non-rush version?
Mhmm
Well then I guess we're done with this then, right?
What?! What?!
I mean all that's left is me and I don't have a good made up routine like you guys, all I have is a real one, so...
What about me?
I already told you, we're not gonna let you troll us again
I not troll, I human
Yeah just let him do it man
Yeah
Fine, go ahead then, but I swear if you do that cook rice joke one more time, i'm just gonna...
My mourning routine not joke, not joke at all
(Sad piano music) Hanate: *clears throat*
Mah routine goes a little something like this
every morning, I wake up
Afraid,
'fraid for my life
Gun fire, Screams, before I know it I hear bangen on my door
Someone tryin to break in
Thats when I grab the gun that I keep under my pillow
And count down 4, 3, 2... 1
I fire the moment that door opens before I can even get a good look at who it is
But as I'm bout to leave, I realize that I know this man, He's my father
Tears start comin down my face like a waterfall being chased by the TLC
And I just run, get in my car and head straight to my psychologist in ten years
Cuz I don't know who else to talk to
I tell him the whole story
And he tells me "Hanate, you shouldn't be sad cuz yo daddy didn't die"
I say "what"?
And thats when he tells me "Hanate, I am your dad"
And I don't know what to do, I-I don't know if I should be happy, or betrayed and I just close my eyes and blackout
When I opened them, I find my psychologist, my father dead
I shot him, I hear sirens coming
That's when I get back in my car and start driving again,
Tears are comin down my face like a K-pop star in that movie "Ninja Assassin", like rain, and it blurs my vision
Right as an old lady crossing the street
I slam my brakes
I lose control of the car and hit her
An innocent old lady.
I get out and run over to her to see that she's barely alive
I bend down next to her not having to convey how sorry I am
When she stops me she tells my "come closer
She whispers "I forgive you... son"
And that's when I realize, this innocent old lady I killed... was my dad
Tears started coming down my face like...
[Ryan interrupts] K that's enough
Hey I not done
Yeah let him finish, I want to hear the end, so what did your tears come down your face like
Oh, just like Bruce Lee favorite drink
Oh, let me guess like "Wa Ta"
No like Pepsi, he like Pepsi
(Sigh)
I heard that too
Is that really your morning routine? The routine you do every morning?
Hai ('yes' in Japanese)
So you're saying that you pretty much murder 3 different people that claim that they're you father every single morning when you get up
Ohh, you mean morning like when the sun come up
YES, what did you think a morning routine was?
I thought you mean mourning like when you sad because people die
OOOHHHH
Mourning, with like a U, that's an easy mistake
No that's not an easy mistake, why would you even think that that's what we're talking about?
Regina: Don't be mean to him
R-Dizzle: Yeah dude, his father just died. Regina: Yeah, all three of 'em
Hai
Ok, fine, I get it, there's some kind of language barrier of some sort and I don't know why in your head, for some reason, you have a country accent
I think it's Canadian accent
No it's not, not even close, but that's fine because now you know which morning I'm talking about, right?
Hai
The one where the sun rises?
Hai
Ok then, can you please just tell us a real answer?
Are you gonna tell us or...
Hai, yeah yeah yeah, I tell
THEN TELL US
tell what
YOUR MORNING ROUTINE, WHAT DO YOU DO IN THE MORNING
Oh I wake up cook rice #GotRice
(TEEHEE)
(Well thank you guys again so much for watching.
If you wanna see bloopers and behind the scenes, click the one on the left.
If you wanna see the previous video, click the one on the right.
And if you wanna see the last Skitzo video, click the one on the bottom.
Regina: Ah that's a really good idea I think you should click the one on the bottom.
That's the best one out of all of them.
Ryan: Reg-ina, just- w-what're you doing here...