welcome to the Late Show i'm your host Stephen Colbert has everybody feeling
tonight feeling his first now everybody wants to know how the candidates are
feeling right now fact it's been a lot of talk about the candidates health in
this election lot of people are worried that Hillary Clinton isn't healthy
enough to be President and a lot of people are worried that Donald Trump is
like that one of the other don't know you don't know what you don't know which
way to be worried it's not entirely sure it's no surprise people are raising the
health issue because these are the two oldest candidates ever to square off in
a presidential election which means of course whoever wins White House state
dinners will now start at four thirty early bird special
it's early bird special battle for the ambassador
describe we have estrade I've heard i waited tables for many years oh yeah
waiting tables for many years and was a guy who's coming his restaurant worked
at called aid his name was Abe you never wrote down his order you just was early
bird special every night just wrote down
Abe and you put the ticket up in the kitchen and then go oka but it would be
like whatever the fish was the scrod the orange roughy and then he would say i'll
have a honeymoon salad honeymoon salad
let us alone no dressing the house
a what we're talking about
alright the election because I don't know why we're talking about the
candidates stamina so much how strong they are
it's like we're going back to some sort of primitive society in which whatever
village elder can lift the biggest stone we made chief in yesterday Hillary
Clinton addressed all of this by releasing a letter from her doctor right
now we have a summary of some new information about Hillary Clinton's
health from the Clinton campaign we know that the results of her chest x-ray show
a small right middle lobe pneumonia the doctor calls this a mild non contagious
bacterial pneumonia she's up to date on her vaccinations
ok good she's up to date her vaccinations that means she's ready for
first grade good to hear
in fact in fact I believe we just got that we would just got footage of her
getting on the school bus the first time
okay there she has she seems a little nervous
oh there's that you'll feel better when you get there honey just a little time
he's got a little Tommy she's so nervous on the first day so nervous but overall
I gotta say it really did sound like a good report the remainder of her
complete physical exam was normal and she is in excellent mental condition
unfortunately excellent mental condition not what the voters are looking for this
year high on the list
evidently
now not to be out letter due from doctored Donald Trump released his
medical records on the dr. Oz Show dr. oz the place America returns for medical
advice when wheel of fortune goes to commercial lump lump in here
ok dr. oz has a huge following of course but he's not without controversy such as
the study by a british medical journal that found about half of the claims made
on his show were not supported by evidence
hey if you want evidence in daytime TV watch Judge Judy and I don't think any
of us should be shocked that he pushes diets and remedies that only work in a
fantasy world
he's not dr. Kansas is dr. oz
yeah
I'm not sure one of them putting approve back then many thanks very much and one
from met with the good doctor he wasted no time getting the audience excited for
his records if your help is as strong as it seems from your review of systems
why not share your medical records why not well I have really no problem in
doing it I have it right here and then I should i do it i don't care should i do
it i don't care should i do it i believe those are the exact words you will say
right before he pushes the button
I do it I do it I don't care do it
yeah
it's funny because it might happen now Trump admitted he admitted this was just
some curtain minute he's overweight he's taking medication for high cholesterol
and I think I know why because the interview also revealed that Trump eats
a fair amount of fast food because according to trump at least you know
what's in it
you know what's in it Donald the only thing we know less about then what's in
fast food is what is in your tax returns then
then the good doctor asked the seven-year-old candidate to diagnose
himself when you look into the mirror how old the person you're looking at
what do you see
i would say i see a person that's 35 years old
35 Donald that's not your reflection that's your wife
beautiful woman beautiful woman a few Foreman beautiful woman Trump also said
he doesn't exercise that often but even so he's good enough at golf to play with
the PGA that's a real medical shocker right there i mean judging by the size
of his hands I would have said mini golf now speaking of which are you guys here
is according to a new survey out of the University of California overall most us
men are satisfied with their genitals so satisfied in fact that many would like
to text you a picture of them the reach the researchers behind the survey came
up with the scale called index of male genital image otherwise known as tender
yeah
this index asked how men felt about every aspect of their genitals such as
penis length girth shape and sent look fellas if you can get your nose close
enough to smell your own genitals
first of all congratulations epic up second second
second of all when do you ever go out
researchers found out of the nearly 4,000 men surveyed a total of $OPERAND
eighty-six percent were classified as satisfied with their penises while the
other fourteen percent said of course i'm satisfied why what did you hear
have you been talking to Lisa you know if there was some way they could be
surveyed i'm not sure if the penises would be all that satisfied with the men
they were attached to that he's okay
could be a little taller also why won't he let me sleep