-Woomba. It's a robot,
and it cleans my business.
My lady business. And I like that.
♪♪
-I needed a birth control
that could keep up with my lifestyle.
-I wanted a birth control that takes a limo,
not the city bus.
-'Cause I could deal with cramps,
but not something cramping my style.
-That's why we chose NuvaBling.
-The discreet yet diamond-encrusted ring
that inserts neatly into the vagina.
-Looking for a birth control that's as sexy as you are?
Then why not reach for NuvaBling?
NuvaBling provides a continuous
low dose of hormones
and a mega-dose of faboosh.
-It's pizzazz that slides right up into my choach.
-NuvaBling is 70% effective at preventing pregnancy
and 100% effective at getting dat swag on.
Plus, you can customize NuvaBling
by adding your own fierce and glamorous charms.
And instead of throwing NuvaBling away each month,
you can reuse it as jewelry.
-Did you get those earrings at Tiffany's?
-Close. I got them from my vagina.
[ Laughter ]
-So wow up that womb.
-Glam up that clam.
-And shine up that 'gine.
-With NuvaBling!
-Say goodbye to the same old birth control
with NuvaBling.
-And, yeah, it does hurt.
[ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ]
[ Rock n roll playing ] [ Wolf whistle ]
-Back in the day, things were a whole lot simpler.
Back in the day,
cars weren't complicated.
Neither was anything else.
[ Rock n roll playing ]
♪♪
[ Hip-hop beat plays ]
Introducing Kotex Classic.
-This is the original.
♪♪
-This
♪♪
-I always know it's there.
♪♪
-You can't beat the original.
-Them girls are old school.
♪♪
-Confidence.
♪♪
-I love the belt. It's so complicated.
-I love the snaps!
-This one's a classic.
Kotex Classic.
♪♪
-Kotex Classic. The next big thing.
[ Laughter ] [ Applause ]
♪♪
-When I feel fresh, I feel confident.
-When I feel clean, that's when I'm at my best.
-My life is hectic enough.
I don't have time to worry about feeling refreshed.
-All across the country, thousands of women
are discovering the next generation of freshness
with Woomba, new from the makers of Roomba.
[ Whirring ]
The first fully automated, completely robotic
feminine hygiene product. -[ Gasps ]
-Woomba -- it's a robot,
and it cleans my business -- my lady business.
And I like that.
-Woomba is a small, disk-like object that takes care
of all your feminine hygiene needs.
-Activate Woomba, and it does the rest.
[ Whirring ] Woomba's built-in sensors
can tell when you're not at your freshest,
and that's when Woomba goes to work.
Its gentle but powerful onboard cleaning agents
assure results every time.
-[ Robotic voice ] -[ Gasps ]
-Once Woomba is activated, it is entirely self-sufficient.
It cannot be turned off.
[ Whirring ]
-[ Indistinct robot voice ]
♪♪
-Woomba will address your feminine hygiene needs
whenever and wherever it thinks it's best.
That's the confidence you get from Woomba.
[ Whirring, robotic voice ]
-Woomba --
the little pink robot that cleans your noonie.
-From the makers of Roomba.
-What if you could have your period just once a year?
-My period once a year?
-Once a year? I'd like that.
-New Annuale extends the time between your period
by 11 months.
-How does it work?
-Each Annuale pack has 44 weeks of active pills,
instead of the usual 3,
keeping you on a constant stream of hormones
so your time of the month can be just once a year.
-That's all I have time for.
-And when it is time for your period,
hold on to your [bleep] hat...
[ Screaming ]
♪♪ [ Laughter ]
♪♪
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
[ Screaming ]
♪♪
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Shrieks ]
-Annuale's not for everyone.
Do not take if you are using MAOI inhibitors
or if your occupation requires you to operate heavy machinery.
Do not take Annuale if you plan to ever become pregnant,
as it may turn your baby into a fire monster.
In the days around your period,
you may develop a leathery tail.
Annuale may cause you to develop a second vagina.
Notify authorities in your town when your period is imminent,
as they may want to incarcerate you preemptively
like a wolfman.
-Ask your doctor if Annuale is right for you.
-And if she says it is, go to a store, buy a hat,
and get ready to hold the [bleep] onto it.
[ Laughter ]
-We're not kidding.
-Annuale.
Once a year. Period.
Oh. That's a play on words. I just got that.
-Shut up! Ohh, here it comes!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Crisp weather.
The crackle of leaves underfoot.
Cuddling up in your favorite sweater.
Fall is officially here. [ People shouting ]
Which means it's finally time to enjoy
all those uniquely fall flavors and scents,
everywhere from your coffee to your candles.
But what about your feminine products?
From the makers of Summer's Eve
comes Autumn's Eve Pumpkin Spice Douche.
The first intimate-care wash with all the bold,
spicy flavors of fall,
because nothing says "clean" like warm, gooey pumpkin
and hot, itchy cinnamon.
-Finally, my intimates can have that warm, inviting scent
that reminds you of your mom.
My husband loves it.
-Thanks to Autumn's Eve, now my personal area
can smell like Thanksgiving all season long.
And that's something we can all be thankful for.
-Why should your
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughter ]
-So hurry over to your local pharmacy or farm stand
and pick up Autumn's Eve Pumpkin Spice Douche.
[ Soft music plays ]
Autumn's Eve -- from the makers of
St. Patrick's Eve Shamrock Douche
and Christmas Eve Peppermint Douche.
-Ooh!
♪♪