- Hello.
So couple of weeks ago,
I saw my grandpa for my birthday,
and we had a really good conversation
about getting older and all the things
that he's seen in his life.
It was cool to hear about all of his stories
and all the things that he's experienced.
And then that got me thinking
about what I'm going to be able
to tell my grandchildren
because I was born in 1985,
and I'm pretty sure by the time they grow up,
I'm going to have some pretty cool shit to tell them.
So I came up with a list of stuff
that if you were born in the 1980's, like I was,
or even in the 90's,
this is a list of things that you
will be able to tell your grandchildren,
just like I will.
I'm older than Google, smartphones,
and all of the technology that you can't live without.
Yeah that's right.
There was no Google when I was growing up.
If you wanted to know something,
you had to go to the library and look it up in a book.
In fact, pretty much everything that you wanted to know
had to be looked up in something that was printed.
For example, you wanted directions,
there was no GPS, you had to carry a physical map.
Want to define something?
You have to look it up in something called a dictionary.
Wanted somebody's phone number?
You had to look it up in something called a phone book.
And by the way, both of those books
were (bleep) huge and it took a few minutes
just to find the word or the number
that you were looking for.
Not very efficient.
I was a part of the last non-wireless,
non-cordless generation.
If you wanted to get a hold of somebody,
you either had to call them or go to their house.
That was it.
There was no texting, and email was pretty new at the time
and not used very much.
And God forbid you wanted to give a girl your number
because it wasn't your number, it was the house's number
and anyone could pick up when that chick calls,
including your parents,
which made it pretty awkward.
And if you wanted to call somebody,
but your mom was on the line,
you had to wait
because that was the one and only line of communication
to the outside world.
I was a part of the last generation
that had to buy physical music.
Digital music was not an option when I was a kid.
By the time I have kids,
record stores are going to be long gone,
and I'm pretty sure it's going to blow their mind
when I tell them that digital singles didn't exist.
When I was a kid and you had that one favorite song
that you heard on the radio,
you had two options to get it.
Number one is you had to wait by the radio,
with a cassette tape, and hope that you were fast enough
to push record when it came on,
or number two, you had to buy an entire $20 CD
just for that one song that you liked,
like I did with the Men in Black album.
That's not a joke.
♫ The title held by me, MIB,
♫ means what you think you saw,
♫ you did not see.
♫ Here come the men in black.
There was no HD anything when I was growing up,
everything was standard definition.
LED, LCD, and plasma TVs didn't exist,
so TVs used to have to use a tube
to project the image onto the screen,
which made them the size of a (bleep) smart car.
I know how to spell.
Oh yeah.
Between autocorrect on smartphones,
and Microsoft Word, that's going to be a big one
in about 20 years.
Or 10.
Or right now.
Kids don't know how the (bleep) spell these days.
I grew up with dial-up internet.
Oh, you don't know what that is?
Well, allow me to explain.
See, back in the day,
internet was exclusively through phone lines,
so you actually had to physically plug your phone line
into your modem, and there was no wireless,
and there definitely was no cable internet.
Dial-up internet took about a full minute to connect
and then once you were connected,
nobody could call you
because there was your one and only phone line
and it was being used by your internet.
And then, finally, once you were online,
it was slow as shit.
Every single webpage took literally about a minute to load,
and on top of all of that,
it made a lovely sound as it connected.
(dial-up tone)
And finally, I was born in another millennium.
That's right young whippersnapper,
another millennium.
Now come over here and give me a sponge bath
before I (bleep) you up with my cane.
So yeah, those are the biggest things I could think of
that are probably going to really impress my grandchildren.
There were a few other things,
like I owned the first Nintendo, the first Xbox,
the first Playstation,
and before that the most technological thing that I had
was like Legos and pogs.
But yeah, that was all for this video guys,
and I hope this gives you a good reference list
to tell your grandchildren one day.
And I'll see you next week.
Peace.
- [Will] Sorry.
(beeping)
(Bugle Horn Sound)
- Hello.
Hello.
Hurts the face.
The face.
Slap in the face.
(Sing Songy Sound)
Oh yeah.
(yells)