do you ever lie awake at night replaying
one moment of the day over and over
where you made a mistake
you overanalyze that moment and keep
thinking of what you could have done
differently or do you ever catch
yourself looking around at friends and
peers and think wow they really have
everything going for them it must be so
easy for them to be grateful because
they have so much to be happy about
and then you pause and compared their
happiness to your own life and can't
help but feel Envy regret frustration
shame anger it seems so easy to zoom in
on what's missing or not working in our
own lives I don't know how familiar you
are with these narratives but they are
common occurrences for me when I was a
student in high school it wasn't until I
gain an awareness of the negative and
destructive thinking that I had that I
was able to zoom out on the bigger
picture and focus on gratitude my name
is Ella Sager and I'm here today to
spread a message about zooming out on
the bigger picture gratitude first we
need to look beyond the numbers and let
go of self-criticism second we need to
embrace the connections and
relationships in our lives and third we
need to strive for the opportunity of
self-discovery and look for
unlike my initial perception that
happiness causes gratitude it's actually
the opposite practicing gratitude
creates happiness so first let's look
beyond the numbers I'm a math teacher I
love numbers but sometimes we become so
hyper-focused on quantifying that we
begin to define ourselves by a number or
score we live in a toxic comparison
driven culture how many followers do
have on Instagram how many likes on a
post how many snaps today how many
colleges did you apply to how many AP
classes are you taking
what's your a CT score your GPA does a
low score and your freshman math class
mean that you won't get into your dream
College No
you are more than a number the bigger
picture it is what do you do when you
receive that low score on the test what
do you attribute academic success or
failure to do you pause and reflect on
your study habits sleep preparation
metacognition self-advocacy
this transformation we need to take our
self-critical perceptions and transform
them into appreciation for the wisdom
gained through those challenging
experiences when we practice gratitude
we can learn to turn our failures into
learning opportunities and this practice
of zooming out on the bigger picture and
reframing our fat failures as
appreciation of gratitude
takes focus practice and awareness to
stories come to mind when I think of how
easy it is to zoom in on the numbers
rather than the bigger picture just this
past summer my almost three year old son
Ryerson was sick with a fever I called
the doctor and he asked how's your son
doing I responded he's 103-degree fever
should I be concerned he said I didn't
ask what his fever was I said how is he
feeling and acting and I had lost sight
in that moment of the fact that I had a
happy son who's acting much like his
normal self but I was so focused on the
number so I reframed and took a step
back and appreciated in that moment that
I had a happy healthy son who would soon
get better a similar story is one of
which I was coaching the girls
cross country team one of my athletes
crossed the finish line and I said how
is your race she responded I got 21
minutes I said I've got my watch right
here I've got your time I asked how was
your race mentally physically so it's
this moment that we find it so easy to
zoom in on a number rather than entire
experience one of the obstacles to
practicing gratitude is comparison when
we become so focused on competition
whether it be academic social athletic
we can begin to harbor some negative
self-critical thoughts and the more we
feel these destructive perceptions the
more these tendencies grow but if we can
reframe our attitude into appreciation
and gratitude we can begin to foster
courage comfort and resilience
practicing gratitude helps us focus on
what we have rather than what we left so
we learn to look beyond the numbers now
the second step in practicing gratitude
is to embrace the connections and
relationships in our lives when people
ask me what I teach I respond and I'm a
teacher of people not just math every
Friday in my class students have an
opportunity to share a unique fact about
themselves with each other called fun
fact Friday as students agree that this
is the best day of the week because we
let down our walls we become vulnerable
and we get to know each other's stories
we
creative community in our classroom that
students feel supported both in failure
and success so get to know each other's
stories find us something in common with
a classmate talk to a stranger in the
hallway talk to your teachers be present
in the moment be kind to yourself and
forgive others as well as yourself the
more we practice gratitude the stronger
our relationships will become so much of
what we enjoy and depend on in life is a
result of our connections with other
people when I recall high school
memories one of the moments I remember
is standing on the stage at graduation
getting a medal placed around my neck by
my history teacher and track coach
for earning a spot in the top 20 of my
graduating class and while this moment
marked an achievement that I'm certainly
proud of what is even more memorable to
me is the entire free period that this
teacher and coach spent with me making a
list of priorities that helped me make a
decision in my life when I recall this
conversation with my teacher and coach
we made a list of pros and cons of
whether or not I should give up track my
senior year because I was so stressed
out it was through this conversation and
this positive relationship that I
learned a few things I was actually more
productive with my free time when it was
limited the social and physical aspects
of being a member of the track team
actually helped relieve my stress and
this simple strategy of writing out a
list of pros and cons is still something
I use to this day to help me make
decisions instead of focusing on my
personal achievements I assumed out on
my experience as a teammate within a
community the camaraderie and
relationships that I developed on the
team were positive and fulfilling my
coaches made me feel valued and
validated and it's a good thing I did
not give up track my senior year because
that is how I met my best friend and now
husband we have shared over 14 years of
our lives together and look back fondly
on those high school memories when I was
able to reframe my perspective into the
appreciation for the connections and
relationships on that team I was able to
practice gratitude and cope more
effectively with the stress in my life I
began to feel more satisfied happy and
hopeful in fact research shows these
effects to be true of people who
practice gratitude an article published
by Harvard Medical School summarized the
psychology research of doctors Edmonds
and McCullough to leaders in the science
of gratitude in one study a group of
participants wrote down things that they
were thankful for ever
for ten weeks the other group wrote down
things that aggravated them every day
for ten weeks and at the end of the 10
weeks the group could practice gratitude
now it only felt more optimistic about
their lives but also exercise more
frequently and in fewer physicians
visits there are multiple benefits of
gratitude both mentally and physically
to sum up the science people who
practice gratitude are more happy
healthy and resilient the more we
regularly reflect on the good in our
lives and shift our perception towards
the positive the more our gratitude
grows and the easier it becomes as a
student in high school I began to
understand how important it was for me
to have a positive caring relationship
with my teachers when I develop a
connection with a teacher I am much more
likely to be interested in a content and
to succeed in the class my zooming out
on the appreciation for the rapport I
created with my teachers proved
extremely valuable to me in selecting
the right college well I had been so
focused on going to the University of
Illinois both because of academic
prestige as well as peer influence I
soon realized that I did not want to be
a face in a crowded lecture hall
I wanted my teachers to know who I was
and to have a positive relationship with
me
the bigger picture is more than just a
name on a transcript the bigger picture
is the experiences and connections that
you make in your life my colleagues and
I are all on an equal playing field no
matter where we went to school or how
many degrees we have what we bring to
the table are our personal stories my
relationship with my students my
colleagues friends and family these are
the bigger perspective for me the final
step in strengthening one's experience
of gratitude is to embrace the
opportunity for self-discovery and
growth I find it true that many students
enter high school as a question mark and
leave as a period how do we continue to
foster our curiosity and passions maybe
we should stop asking what do you want
to be when you grow up there is more to
being human than achievement our
self-worth and our view of our peers
should not only be validated by grades
and career paths what do I want to be
when I grow up I want to be
conscientious I want to be a person of
integrity I want to be passionately
curious I want to make a difference in
the lives of others so who are you who
are you today
who did you wish to be what do you
believe in what makes you happy
what are your priorities do you advocate
for what you believe in even if it's not
a popular choice do you endlessly scroll
through social media just to fill your
time or do you pause and reflect on the
silence and beauty of the world around
you one thing that I personally value is
growth mindset some questions I try to
ask myself daily are do I embrace
challenges or avoid them do i persist in
the face of setbacks or do I give up
easily twice the effort as a path to
mastery or effort is fruitless do I
learn from criticism or do I ignore
useful negative feedback do I find
inspiration in the success of others or
do I feel threatened by others success
high school is an opportunity to develop
in your true self so zoom out on the
bigger picture look beyond the numbers
and let go of self criticism embrace the
connections and relationships in your
life and look for the opportunity of
self-discovery and growth
life is a qualitative endeavor not a
quantity
it's easy to practice gratitude when
life is good but when things get
challenging I challenge you to find the
light in the darkness instead of
focusing on what we don't have reframe
your perspective into your daily gifts I
challenge you to recognize the good in
each day no matter how small my call to
action is this every night before you go
to bed think about or write down three
specific things that you are thankful
for that day try to avoid repetition and
keep it fresh and detailed it can be as
simple as I'm thankful for my hot shower
this morning my friends smile in the
hallway and my delicious lunch the more
we experience wonder thankfulness and
appreciation our mood transforms to joy
gratitude unlocks happiness
improves our health strengthens our
relationships sharpens our attention and
opens our hearts I would like to close
with a poem called
open in gratitude by Patricia Ellsberg
open in gratitude for the breath that
nourishes every cell in your body and
has sustained you from the moment you
were born for the miracle of your body
yet despite whatever weaknesses or
limitations serves you and allows you to
sense the wonders of the world for your
brain that coordinates all the functions
of your body without you even being
aware of it for the consciousness that
allows you to perceive feel and be
amazed for the eyes that allow you to
see the abounding beauty of the world
that surrounds you colors and shapes the
face of a loved one for the ears that
enable you to hear bird singing wind
rustling in the leaves words people say
to you and the last year of children for
the sense of smell that allows you to
enjoy the fragrance of flowers the scent
of fresh air your favorite food for your
mouth and tongue that enable you to
taste the fruits of the earth to enjoy a
ripe peach or chocolate melting in your
mouth for the skin that protects you and
yet allows you to touch and sense the
wonders of the world feel warmth
coolness softness the touch of a loved
one
for your heart the be faithfully your
whole life from before you were even
born open to a sense of wonder and
gratitude for the amazing gift of being
awake and alive in this precious human
form the fact that we exist or that
anything exists at all is a wondrous
mystery we all live in the midst of a
miracle
[Applause]