They're not really my favorite lines,
but they are the lines you hear over and over from narcissists.
I'm going to share them with you in this video and
the best ones are for the end,
you definitely want to hear those are coming up in this video.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung,
I'm an attorney, I'm also a narcissist negotiation expert,
I've helped many people break free from narcissistic relationships,
business, personal and
I want to help you do the same thing.
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I have heard it all when helping people negotiate with narcissists,
break free from these toxic relationships and
they say the same things over and over again.
The thing about narcissists is that they have a pattern of how they speak,
and that's the good news.
I mean, the bad news is that it is so difficult to deal with them,
but the good news is that there’s a pattern in dealing with them.
So, if you're kind of wondering,
Am I dealing with a narcissist? Is it true?
Is this person I'm trying to manage,
communicate with, negotiate with, a narcissist?
Well, check out this video and
you'll know by the end of this video and
make sure you watch all the way to the end,
because I do have seven different phrases here and
all of them taken together are kind of a checklist for you,
so you can kind of see taken together,
Is this person a narcissist that I'm dealing with?
As I said, I've helped millions of people through this channel,
thousands of people through my practice,
in coaching people through negotiations, through my law practice,
so, I definitely have seen it all, believe me.
This is really a form of gaslighting and
gaslighting is a way of making people feel like they're crazy,
it's a form of control, it’s a form of destabilizing people,
it's really a way of getting a narcissist victim
to believe that they don't have power and
it's something narcissists use to make their victims feel confused.
“You make such a big deal out of everything”.
I know, it’s so misogynistic, so degrading, so devaluing and
it really is just so meant to be,
“I'm not giving any credence to what you're saying,
I'm totally going to just devalue whatever it is that
just came out of your mouth because I’m just going to say,
‘Oh, is it your time of the month?’”
That's number two.
This is all in the same line of everyone else thinks,
everyone else believes, or no one else thinks,
it's a way of making you feel isolated,
it's a way of making you feel you're the only one who thinks this,
or no one else thinks that and
it's actually also part of almost like,
a smear campaign that has started as well,
because in that they also maybe have started to speak
about you to these people and during the discard phase,
you do see the birth of the smear campaign as well and
I have a whole video on how to shut down the narcissist smear campaign,
which I highly recommend that you check out,
because sometimes the smear campaign can actually start
long before you even know the discard face has started,
they started planting seeds long before,
they started saying things about you long before,
that aren't even necessarily where I'm saying something bad about the person,
they couch it in terms of “Concern” a lot of times,
“I'm concerned about this person's parenting skills”,
“I'm concerned about this person's drinking”,
“I'm concerned about how much this person is working”,
“I'm concerned about their long hours”,
“I'm concerned about how much time they spend away from home”,
something like that,
where it's a backhanded smear and
so then, by the time the discard phase comes along
they can say, “Oh, I told you, that they spend so much time away”,
so by the time it comes time to go into a custody phase,
or something like that,
they can say, “Oh, I told you that there were never around”,
“I told you they were terrible parent” or whatever,
“Even so-and-so agrees with me you were never around,
and that you're a terrible parent”,
“Everyone else thinks that you're horrible”,
“No one else thinks that you should have custody”,
something like that.
So, everyone else believes this or that and
they do the same thing, even in a workplace setting,
so it doesn't have to be necessarily a marriage,
it can be a workplace setting too,
they do the same thing.
“No one else thinks that you should get this promotion”,
“No one else thinks that you're good at sales”,
“No one else thinks that you are very good at this job”,
“Everyone else thinks that I'm better at it”,
that sort of thing.
I mean, it's the same principle,
you can take the same principle and
apply it across the board to whatever it is that we're talking about.
So, what they do is they take
whatever it is that you are trying to bring up and
they attack what you’re talking about,
they attack your tone, the timing,
when you're bringing it up, where you're bringing it up,
so that you never get to bring up
the topic of what you were trying to bring up
so that you're never heard,
because then you feel totally frustrated,
you never feel like you matter,
it's a way of devaluing you, it's a way of disrespecting you.
“I don't like how you're standing”,
“I don't like your posture”.
Again, it's something else to attack,
so that you never get to the point
of what it is that you're saying.
You don't know how good you have it, something like that.
It's always something about around how great they've been to you and
how much you don't appreciate how good they are and
something to make you feel guilty and
especially if you are trying to ask for something from them,
you are trying to get them to be held accountable for something,
you're trying to hold them responsible for something,
or you're even asking for them to acknowledge you,
or acknowledge your feelings,
even not holding them accountable,
even just acknowledge you in any way,
that's when you're ungrateful, you’re unappreciative,
you don't know how good you have it,
all of those things.
They become a victim,
somehow it gets turned around back onto them.
“You're always starting problems, can't we just move on?”
“Why do we have to think about this?”
“Why do we have to dwell on things?”
If you want to try to bring up anything,
anything that's an issue,
the next thing they want to do is just forget about it,
“Move on, let's just sweep it under the rug”,
“Let's just move on, let's just get to the next level”,
“You'll see, it'll all be better” and
just basically future fake you,
“You'll see, it'll all be better”,
“Why do we have to dwell on things?”,
“I already said it would be better in the future,
let's just move on, you got what you wanted,
I said fine, okay, it'll be better in the future”,
From now on, you'll see, it'll be amazing,
they don't want to hear anything more about it,
they just try to love- bomb their way into saying
the rest of the time it'll be incredible and
they just want to focus on that and
they don't want to hear anything more about you,
your feelings, how they may have hurt you,
they just want to think about the future,
they want you to think about the future,
because they just don't want to have to be,
held accountable at all,
they don't want to be held accountable,
they don’t want to be held responsible and
they really believe that,
that if they can just get you to think about the future,
that you'll just forget about it too,
that they can just love-bomb you back into thinking about the future,
that you'll just forget about it and
that everybody can just move on and
then, they won't have to be held responsible for it,
that they can just charm you with their charisma,
the way they did in the beginning and
you'll just move forward and
they don't care about your feelings anyway,
so, what difference does it make?
They just want what they want,
they want you to be pushing your feelings back,
they don't want to have to spend anytime
giving anything into your direction.
So, those are my favorite lines of a narcissist,
would love to know which ones
are the ones that you've heard the most.
Give me a comment in the comments below and
if you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me a comment.
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if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
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which I will drop links to all of that as well.
Remember that they only win if you give in.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Wherever you are is the jumping off point,
so you can do this, alright?
So, I will see all of you guys in the next next video.