RV - #1 Rule To ALWAYS Look Strong & Powerful [0:00:00]
So, the number one rule to looking strong and powerful is not this.
No, you don't have to surround yourself with tall women in suits.
Now, as my friend, Frankie, displays in this video, it is something that will grab attention.
Although, personally, I think it's his backside that's grabbing all the stares.
But, seriously, the point we're talking about here is called social validation.
And, although, I wouldn't give social validation the top spot when it comes to looking strong
and powerful, it's definitely in the top five because social validation is a shortcut that
human beings use to be able to determine if somebody is worth engaging with, if they are
safe, if they have status in a group.
Now, does that mean you need to travel with your own security detail?
Of course not.
But, it does mean, hey, if you're going to go out, possibly go out with a group of friends.
Even better yet, find a few girlfriends.
Yes, they're just friends from work, they're married.
But, guess what?
You showing up with them to that party to that event, all of a sudden, the other single
women there because you're a single guy, all of a sudden it validates you as you are somebody
worth paying attention to.
The thing is you don't always have to show up with people.
That's a big help, but if you show up to a familiar place, where people recognize you
where you've got friends, yes, you're tipping them, but they're taking care of you and other
people are seeing, hey, this person is treated with respect.
All right.
So maybe the number one rule is to ignore the rules, to break the rules, to basically
wear whatever you want.
Yeah, everyone in the company is wearing a suit, you walk in in sweat clothes in a hoodie.
We see this all the time in Silicon Valley.
This is actually called the red shoe effect.
And it was made popular in 2014 out of Harvard University did the whole study on this and
they found that, yes, in certain circumstances if you go in and you break the rules, basically,
you say, hey, I don't have to because I own the company or I have enough power in this
situation that I'm just simply going to do as I please that it can be a sign of power.
Now, does this always work?
No, of course not.
You actually do have to have the confidence and in most situations, you really do need
to have the power to be able to pull this off.
So, that leads us to the power suit, right?
I'm talking of dark suit with a red orange, maybe a gold tie pocket square well-fitted
that white shirt.
Overall, this is the look at least in the Western world of somebody that means business.
But, is this the number one rule to always looking strong and powerful?
I'm going to say no.
It definitely is a great rule.
I don't know, maybe you could argue it actually is more powerful.
I want to hear from you guys down the comments.
In any case, a well-fitted suit is going to make any man look better.
So, what about a flashy expensive watch?
Well, part of that is right, the flashy part, not so much about the expense.
Now, there are watch people, of course, they're going to pick up on the type of watch and
that will give you status with them.
But, for most people especially women and I know I'm making a generalization, many women
are into watches.
But, for the vast majority of women, what they do notice is that you pay attention to
your jewelry, to the options you've got on your wrist.
And that flashy relatively maybe large watch is going to grab their attention and instantly
say, hey, this guy pays attention to the details.
But is it the number one rule to looking strong and powerful?
No.
And speaking of accessories that make it look powerful, let's talk about a man and in his
briefcase.
Seriously, gents, when it comes to bags, the briefcase reigns supreme as the bag of the
man of power, the man that is here to do business, the man that is here to make things happen.
Now, the briefcase you're seeing right here, this is the Palissy and you can find it over
at Carl Friedrik.
Now, Carl Friedrik is the sponsor of today's video.
Gents, when it comes to quality, when it comes to workmanship, when it comes to style and
design, Carl Friedrik just knocks it out of the park.
Seriously, when you look at the hardware, when you look at the stitching, you go in
and you look at the fine details, it is going to blow you away.
Now, that Palissy briefcase comes in three different styles.
You've got the classic, then you've got the double, and you've got the 25-hour.
Now, I personally own their slim leather briefcase in chocolate and I also have the cognac.
They use Italian vachetta leather.
And the hardware, they use heavy duty zippers right here and they've got every tooth, everything
about these zippers screams quality.
And if that Palissy style briefcase isn't for you, check out their Vallance Collection.
I've got it right here; elegant, sharp, simple, clean, absolutely beautiful.
Or maybe you're just a portfolio guy, you want something to carry under your arm that
looks good, check out the Goswell.
I just received one right here in the office and I have to say absolute perfection.
And if you're looking for something innovative, I just talked about it in one of my other
videos, check out their Getaway Weekender.
What I love about this, it's functional, it's got size, and it's going to prevent your clothing
from wrinkling.
It's like taking a closet with you.
Now, you do have to pre-order these, but I highly recommend you grab one, these things
are absolutely amazing.
And their website is super informative.
So, when you go over there, you're not only going to be able to see all these great looking
photos, but you're also going to get information on the dimension.
So, if you're wondering if your laptop, if everything you need is going to be able to
fit into the bag.
And, gents, if you're not convinced, check out their 100-day trial guarantee.
You try it for a hundred days and if you are not satisfied, you can get your money back.
Oh!
And did I mention you can personalize your briefcase, your luggage, whatever it is you
want to grab from Carl Friedrik?
Again, gents, use that link in the description of today's video to go over to Carl Friedrik
to get the best deal on the web.
[0:05:03] Now, this next rule to appearing strong and
powerful, again, is not the number one rule, but it is one that is very powerful and easy
to do if you practice and that is to slow down.
I know, coming from a guy that speaks a hundred words a minute in his videos.
But, here's the thing is that if you really are nervous, if you've got a bit of anxiety,
you're going to go up on stage, you want to practice your breathing.
You want to slow everything down and the best thing you can do is practice box breathing.
The key here is to inhale slowly and if you can't inhale to a count of four, inhaling
to a count of two is fine to get started.
Next, you want to hold that air in your lungs, again, to a count of four.
And this isn't four seconds, you can count relatively fast, one, two, three, four.
All right, now, you're going to let it out.
And, finally, you're going to hold that exhale for, again, a count of four.
Now, this is going to take practice and you're not going to be a hundred percent accurate
here.
The key is to practice and to think of nothing, but your breathing.
Now, you may be wondering, what does this do for making me look strong and powerful?
Guys, it gives you inner confidence.
It slows things down, it allows you to breathe and assess the situation.
Gents, this breathing technique is used by Navy Seals.
I know in the Marine Corps I use this technique.
And astronauts strapped onto a rocket about to explode hopefully get in the space.
These guys they can't do anything, guess what?
They use breathing techniques to take a hold of the most important person for you in the
situation, yourself, slows things down and helps you overcome that fear, nervousness,
and anxiety.
Now, gents, if you're enjoying today's video, do me a favor and smash that like button.
Seriously, guys, when you engage with the like button, magic happens.
All right.
So, breathing is nice, but what if you've got the exact opposite problem?
You need some energy, you are about to walk up on stage and for some reason you are just
feeling down.
You've lost your mojo, so guess what?
Listen to some bass.
Seriously, check out this song right here, Tech Noir by Gunship, amazing song.
After you listen to this, you are going to be more confident.
Why?
Because it's all about the bass.
But, seriously, Gunship, they're freaking awesome.
I'll link to their music videos down in the description of today's video.
Now, the idea that music can actually make you more confident, this has been known for
a long time.
If you've played sports, you know that, hey, we use music all the time before you're going
to go out on the field to basically psych you up.
But, it was over at Kellogg School of Business, where they actually put it to the test in
the business setting.
Now, the way the study worked is they had two different groups.
One group listened to high bass music, the other one listened to low bass music.
Those that listened to high bass were 34% of them said, you know what?
I want to start the debate off.
Those that listened to the low bass, only 20% said they wanted to start the debate off.
Now, why this is important is because in a debate the person that goes up for first is
usually viewed as the more aggressive person.
So, what they were measuring here is that, hey, if you are listening to the high bass,
you are amped up you are psyched up, you've got more confidence, you feel more powerful.
So, what are some great songs to get you worked out?
How about I'm Not Afraid by Eminem, Nothing's Going To Stop Us now by Starship.
All right, gents, the next rule to appear more powerful to appear stronger, can you
guess what it is?
What has changed in this video?
Come on, the color red.
Now, you don't need to bring in a full-on red suit.
As you can see right here, I've brought in a red pocket square.
You could wear a red tie.
But, a little bit of red in the outfit you're wearing can make you appear more competent.
And this is was in a very clear study that was done years ago in which they actually
people just watched a video, a guy was wearing a red sweater versus wearing a blue sweater.
And they kept changing the colors and they just found that red, again, when it popped
up in even in small amounts on jackets with ties that people were coming off as more believable.
And that's what going back to the power suit, the idea with the red necktie.
You don't necessarily you need to match it with a red pocket square, but I am saying
here that for some reason the color red has a psychological effect on most people, that
they perceive the person to be more competent, to be more powerful, to be someone they are
going to defer decisions to.
So, we talked about color, but what about materials?
What about what the clothing is made from?
Can that have an effect on how people perceive you?
And the answer is yes.
I've talked about leather and the properties how women especially view leather as one of
the most masculine strongest materials that a person can wear.
So, that being said, suede, leather, these are definitely ones that you can pair into
your wardrobe and all of a sudden, you'll come off as stronger more powerful.
Right here as you can see, I've got a red leather suede jacket, so I'm really doubling
down here.
Point being is this is probably the red sneaker effect, this is is going to be a unique garment
that would have me stand out in a crowd.
And can I back it up with the confidence the way I walk the way I carry myself?
Yeah, which segues us right into walking with confidence.
Is this the number one rule?
No.
But, this is something I see a lot of guys fail and one of the things, they're walking
around looking at their phones.
So, first up, when you are walking, don't walk with your phone.
Yes, I know you want to be following directions, you're checking a text.
Can you actually put that addiction in your pocket and hold off a while and actually pay
attention to where you're going?
[0:10:07] Because when you stand up straight, when you
roll those shoulders back, when you actually look in the direction you're going, you come
off as more confident, more powerful, more strong.
And that's what we're shooting for here, for you to look good especially when you're walking
into a place for the first time.
I know it's a little bit intimidating, maybe you don't know anybody.
But, hey, just work your way to the back.
If you don't feel confident when you're in a new location, then pick a point and go to
that point.
I find oftentimes it's just simply the other side of the bar, the other side of the place
and you're just moving your way through and you're going to regroup over there.
Oftentimes, there's less people on that side as well because you'll be -- it'll be easier
to order a drink.
Whatever it is, make sure you go in that direction with confidence.
Now, what about confident body language?
That's definitely in the top ten, right?
Yep, it is.
It's not the number one rule, but if you want to appear strong and competent, you want to
appear strong and powerful, then make sure that you're exhibiting body language that,
yeah, sends that signal because this is what people see before you even speak.
And I talked about rolling those shoulders back, but if you're going to be sitting down,
take up a little bit of extra space.
Definitely, don't try to minimize yourself.
Be careful about spending too much time on that phone with your head down.
Again, that is it’s deferring power to other people.
And it's a small thing and I know it's comfortable or you've at least developed the neck muscles
that this seems to be the default mode, but, again, it makes you look weak.
Now, this next rule to appear strong and powerful could have easily been my number one.
I didn't put it here, though, because I know a lot of you guys think it's a bunch of woo-woo.
But, visualization is very powerful.
And I've paid attention in the comments, I talked about this a few videos back.
I had surgeons down there saying, hey, anytime before I go into work with a patient, before
I'm going through a surgery, I visualize myself going through this.
It's a very, very powerful technique.
And it was something, again, I learned in the United States Marine Corps as an officer
looking for new ways to be able to prepare my marines for tough stressful situations.
And I learned this when I was in flight school as well is you visualize you walk yourself
through everything you're going to do, you break it down into steps.
And that visualization walking through your mind is so powerful.
So, if you're going out and I know that a lot of you guys, it drives you -- I mean,
this is something that you can't stand being in a room with a bunch of people you don't
know trying to introduce yourself, this is nerve-wracking.
So, walk, break it down into steps, say, okay, well, first up, how am I going to dress, how
am I going to walk out of my house, how am I going to grab that Uber, maybe meet up with
a couple friends or maybe they're going to meet you there and you're going to, I'm going
to walk into this place.
Yeah, I'm not going to know anyone, but I've been to this place before and I know that
there is a pool table in the back of the bar.
And I'm going to walk my way through, I'm going to, you know, just look to my left look
to my right.
I'm going to acknowledge the bartender.
If he gives me a sign, maybe I'll grab a water or grab a drink while I'm waiting for my friend.
And, then I'm going to make my way back and there's a particular spot, where I know I
can stand where I can maybe get a seat, grab a stool.
And, when you visualize this, how the night is going to go, it’s going to go exactly
like that?
Of course not.
But, you've thought through this and you are going to feel more confident.
And this is key, gents, the fact that all of a sudden you're just feeling better about
the situation, your nerves, your breathing, everything is going to be in check and it's
going to help you be able to deal with this situation especially if it really is outside
your comfort zone.
And, gents, this visualization, you can use in any parts of your life, your professional
life whether or not you're going to get in front of your boss's boss or maybe it's just
simple you're going to be at a restaurant, there's a bar there and you visualize yourself
walking up to an attractive woman there and simply asking, “Hey, what do you recommend?
I've never grabbed a drink here, I've never eaten here before.”
She's obviously, you know, has something right there.
Maybe she's meeting with a few friends, you realize, hey, you're not going to probably
get anything from her.
That's not what you're looking for.
You're looking just to put in the reps to practice engaging and talking with people
again.
So, the number one rule to looking strong and powerful is to know who you are and practice
being that man.
I know, it sounds really high level and it probably wasn't what you're expecting.
Or if you've watched my channel enough times, you guys know that I'm all about you.
I'm all about the character, I'm all about a man actually understanding what are his
core values.
For me, honor, courage, commitment.
And, right here, if you check out this coin, guys, if you want to let me know what your
core values are, I want to hear it down in the description.
And my question is, every single day, are you dressy to become that man you know yourself
to be?
Are you practicing are you putting in the reps to be more committed, more honorable,
more courageous?
Or the values whatever you value, are you actually putting in the reps to become that
man?
That right there as long as you're doing that, it doesn't matter what this all these other
things are nice and they definitely build on it, but at the end of the day, you need
to know who you are and work hard to become that person.
All right, gents.
So, what video to watch next?
How about the number one rule to looking stylish all day?
Seriously, if you want to look stylish all day, you don't want to have to think about
it, check out this video right here, I've got it laid out for you.
Boom!
Yeah, click it, go check.
The video will automatically populate, it's amazing how this happens.
[0:15:06] End of audio