First day at work.
Pressure makes diamonds.
I really need a coffee.
What is up everyone?
Welcome back to my channel.
My name is Vanessa Lau.
In today's video, I really wanted to talk about the roller coaster ride that I've gone
through the past three months.
Ever since I ... Actually no.
The past year, two years since I started my corporate job, left it, and now I'm doing
this whole solo-preneur part-time barista type of gig.
So what really inspired me to do this video, is I was working one morning at the coffee
shot that I work at, and there was a girl who ordered from me and she mentioned that
she watches my videos.
This girl, I won't mention her name in case she's not comfortable, but after watching
this video you know who you are.
We started having a conversation.
We started talking about the emotional stages and the emotional roller coaster that comes
with building that courage to leave your job and what happens after you leave.
That really inspired me to film this video because there's so much that I could say in
terms of the emotional stages that someone might be going through.
The moment they start their new job, to the moment they realize they don't like it, to
the moment that they resign, and then the moment that happens right after that.
Just a side note, prior to creating this video I actually ran by these stages with a couple
of my friends who have also left their corporate jobs.
They find that it's quite accurate.
But it's not to say that what happened with me and what happened with my friends are going
to be exactly what happens to you if you decide to leave your job.
Also, I wanted to add that this is more specific to someone who has left their job without
another job lined up or without intention to going back to corporate life.
With that being said, I wanted to put that out there, and I hope you guys enjoy the video.
So let's first talk about stage one.
The honeymoon phase.
This is the phase where you've signed your full-time offer, you've anticipated for the
moment where you start the first day at work, you're dressed to the nines, you're wearing
your best pair of shoes, you have an amazing attitude, and you're just so grateful that
you're there.
First day at work.
#lovemyjob.
#sogreatful.
#BLESSED.
During the honeymoon phase, you walk around with your notebook, you have your integration
meetings with everyone on your team, and you're literally a sponge.
You're soaking all of the information in.
You're typing or you're writing a shit-ton of notes, to the point where you're pretty
much transcribing what everyone is telling you.
And you just want to tell everyone where you work.
The second stage is the try hard phase.
This is the stage where no one's really treating you like a baby anymore and they're starting
to give you real work.
As you're getting all this real work, you just want to go above and beyond.
You're willing to take on more projects than you can handle.
You just want to learn everything that there is to learn.
And you want to get as much feedback as possible so you can continually improve.
I'm sorry to interrupt you.
I'm wondering if I could take you out for a coffee.
I'm constantly trying to learn at this job, would really like to know areas of opportunity
that I have in order for me to grow in the company and take your job.
But at the same time, during this try hard phase, you realize that you're really not
the shit anymore and you're starting from the bottom.
All the work seems incredibly challenging and you're just eager to be able to master
all the tasks that are given to you.
Stage number three.
That is denial and frustration.
The work isn't getting any easier, hours aren't getting any shorter, and you're starting to
resent staying up late doing work all the time, but you don't want to say anything because
#ilovemyjob.
You're at the stage where it's starting to get extremely uncomfortable at your job and
you're doubting and you're having second thoughts about whether or not this was the right path
for you or not.
Pressure makes diamonds.
In this stage, you're really in denial.
You know that things aren't good, but you have a strong belief that it will get better
and you realize it's definitely no longer the honeymoon stage.
Stage four, which is basically anger and feeling very, very jaded.
And what this means is you have so much resentment for your job because it's not getting better,
and you're starting to feel frustrated, you're starting to feel anger, you're starting to
complain almost every single day, and you're also starting to become a person that you
don't even recognize anymore.
Hello, hi.
Do you want to go for a coffee?
I really need a coffee.
It's as if no one in this company understands what efficiency is.
A project that got approved three weeks ago, all of a sudden someone up there decides that
it's no longer good, and now guess who has to stay over time in order to clean all this
shit up and redo the entire project?
Me!
And when you're in this stage, it's probably one of the most frustrating, debilitating
stages to be in.
It's as if you have this cloud of negativity that's just circling around you and following
you around, whether that's at work, after work, when you wake up, when you hang out
with your friends.
It's as if work never really leaves your mind and you're at a spot where you are just feeling
hopeless.
In turn, you turn that hopelessness into constant anger and resentment.
This stage is probably the worse stage to be in.
Stage five, which is basically fear.
At this stage, you've already pretty much committed to resigning your job because of
the frustration that you feel, or because of the resentment that you feel, and you are
just ready for a stinking change.
But even though you're all talk to your colleagues, or to your friends, or to your mom, or to
your dad, you're saying things like, "Fuck this, I'm done, I don't care anymore.
Peace out."
But, when it actually comes to the moment or the night before where you actually have
to hand in that letter of resignation, you literally lose sleep over it.
And not to mention, maybe even a week or a couple days leading up to that big moment
where you hand in that resignation, every meeting you go to you literally feel so guilty
because you know that you're going to be leaving soon.
And especially when you're in this fear stage, you blow everything out of proportion.
What if she yells at me?
What if she slaps me in the face?
What if the company escorts me out?
Can I eve get a better job than this?
Oh my God.
Basically in a nutshell you are so scare to pull the plug, but you do know that it's necessary
in order for you to move forward, and at this point you've pretty much told enough people
that you're going to be doing it, so you really can't back out.
The sixth stage is empowerment.
At this stage you've handed in your resignation letter.
The moment you hand it in, it's literally as if you feel your life has changed.
You feel like you were going this way, and then because you handed in that letter, you
suddenly are going this way.
You feel incredibly empowered that you, you were about to take control of your life, that
you have taken ownership, and that you have finally acted on the thing that you've been
complaining about for months, for years, and it's a feeling that I personally will never
forget.
Pick up.
Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
Sally!
Guess what, guess what.
I quit.
I did it.
No, on to stage seven.
Stage seven is awkwardness.
Because you've handed in your two weeks, you have two weeks left to work at that job, and
you just feel fucking awkward.
You basically know that everyone is talking about you, that your managers are talking
about you, that HR is talking about you, and everyone is just shook that you actually,
actually made the decision to pull the plug.
The rumors are starting to spread and you just don't really know how to handle it all.
Not only this, in this stage of awkwardness you are also responsible of wrapping up all
of the projects that you had, and train the person or leave transition documents for the
person that will be replacing you.
So during this awkward stage, it is quite sad and quite bittersweet to know that you'll
be passing a lot of the big projects that you've been working on for years to someone
else.
Just having that conversation with your team and talking with your manager, it is quite
bittersweet.
So as much as you have been complaining about your job the whole time or feeling miserable,
during these last two weeks you do get a reality check of how much you've grown in the company,
and how much you appreciate your colleagues, and how much you'll actually miss this place.
Stage eight, and this is pure happiness.
You no longer work at this company.
You wake up Monday morning at 10:00 AM realizing that you don't have to go to work anymore,
you don't have to wear pants, and you basically are a free man or a free woman that can do
anything that they want.
That is one of the greatest feelings that you could get the moment after you quit your
job, is when you realize the freedom there is on the other side of sitting in a cubicle.
But of course, this newfound freedom and this amazing happiness doesn't last long.
Eventually thy hype really dies down, and that's what brings me to stage nine, which
is loneliness and social pressure.
Because during this stage as the hype has died down, you're starting to feel lonely
that all of your friends are at work and you're on your own.
You have no one really to talk to from the hours of 9:00-5:00.
At the same time, you start to reflect back on your corporate life and you ask yourself,
"Was it really that bad?"
Because you really start to miss that feeling of having someone telling you what to do,
and you miss having that structure in your life.
Because after you leave your job, especially if you don't have another job lined up, the
world is truly your oyster.
As much as you had anticipated this moment for so long, it comes with its cons, just
like anything.
Everything has a pro and a con.
With freedom comes with lack of structure, and it comes with not having any direction
whatsoever of what to do in your life.
That causes a lot of stress.
Not only this, the amount of social pressure that you receive after you leave your job
is immense.
Really, the main reason why you're questioning whether you made the right decision or not
is because everyone else around you is questioning you.
[Foreign language 00:10:48]
It doesn't make it better knowing that you don't really have anyone else to lean on in
order to figure out your life.
You don't have a boss to talk to, you don't have colleagues to talk to, and it just becomes
a really lonely journey.
This brings me to my last stage.
Stage ten, which is just basically adjustment.
This is a stage that I'm in.
This stage is basically where you've accepted the new normal.
The life that you have after corporate.
You basically erase everything that you've ever known in your life and you start over,
and you're okay with that.
You start to have new routines.
You start to have new habits.
You start to have new interests.
During this adjustment phase, you're basically relearning life.
You're taking courses, you're reading books, you're soul searching, you're networking.
You finally start to have a little system in place that keeps you sane.
At this stage, you've basically accepted the fact that your corporate job was a thing of
the past.
It was a thing that happened to you, and now you move forward.
Once you hit this tenth stage of adjustment, you no longer look at your corporate job with
resentment.
Rather you look at it with a lot of appreciation.
You wouldn't necessarily go back to it, but at the same time you are just grateful that
you had that opportunity and now use those skills and use those experiences to your advantage
with whatever project that you might be pursuing.
At this stage you basically have a better idea of the new path that you want to take,
and all your efforts are really concentrated on how you get yourself from point A to point
B, and working towards that new life that you strive for.
So guys, that's it.
Those were the ten stages that I've personally identified throughout my journey of starting
a corporate job, and then leaving it, and then life after that.
It's definitely a bumpy ride, and it's not to say that this journey is linear.
It doesn't go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
You could go from stage five, then go back to stage eight, and then go back to stage,
ten, and then go back to stage eight.
It is truly a roller coaster, but I wanted to make this video so that at least you have
an idea of what to expect if you choose to leave your job, and especially if you don't
have a backup one afterwards, or if you are following a different path.
So as always, thank you so, so much for watching my video.
I truly, truly from the bottom of my heart appreciate it.
And if you like my content, please make sure to subscribe.
With that being said, I'll see you next week.
Bye everyone.