A TWENTY-YEAR-OLD STUDENT AT
OXFORD UNIVERSITY HAS RESIGNED FROM A NUMBER OF STUDENT
ORGANIZATIONS AFTER SHE CONFESSED TO PURSUING SEXUAL
CONTACT ON TWO DIFFERENT
OCCASIONS WITHOUT CONSENT.
ANNIE TERIBA IS THE STUDENT IN
QUESTION, AND SHE DOES SAY THAT SHE IS GOING TO SEEK HELP FROM
SOME OF HER PAST EXPERIENCES AND THE THINGS SHE HAS DONE WRONG.
SHE WROTE THE FOLLOWING, "AT THIS YEAR'S NUS BLACK STUDENTS
CONFERENCE I HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE.
THE OTHER PARTY LATER
INFORMED ME THAT THE SEX WAS NOT CONSENSUAL.
I FAILED TO
PROPERLY ESTABLISH CONSENT BEFORE EVERY ACT."
THEN SHE
SAID THAT THAT WAS NOT AN ISOLATED INCIDENT.
SHE
CONTINUED TO SAY, "IN A SEPARATE INCIDENT, IN MY FIRST YEAR OF
UNIVERSITY, I WAS ALERTED TO MY INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR WHILST
DRUNK IN A CLUB, WHERE I HAD TOUCHED SOMEBODY IN A SEXUAL
MANNER WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT."
LET ME GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY,
I HAVE LOOKED THROUGH EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD TO CONFIRM THAT
SHE IS GAY.
I HAVE NOT GOTTEN
ANY HARD-CORE CONFIRMATION OF THAT, BUT SHE IS THE LEADER OF A
LESBIAN RIGHTS ORGANIZATION AT OXFORD, OR WAS.
IT SEEMS LIKE
ARTICLES ARE IMPLYING THAT SHE IS A LESBIAN, AND I JUST WANT
YOU GUYS TO KNOW THAT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HER SEXUALITY IS, BUT
JUST KNOW THAT IT IS VERY
UNSURE.
EVERYTHING IN THIS ARTICLE IS SO LIB THAT YOU CANNOT BE
POSITIVE.
IT DOESN'T MATTER FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS STORY, WE
JUST WANT TO GET ALL OF THE FACTS.
WHAT DOES MATTER IS,
WHAT SHE DID.
WE DON'T KNOW THE
FACTS OF THESE SPECIFIC INCIDENTS, BECAUSE NOBODY IS
TALKING ABOUT THEM.
SHE ISNíT MENTIONING THEM, HER VICTIM DOESN'T
MENTION THEM, AND I HESITATE THERE BECAUSE I HAVE ISSUES WITH
THIS STORY.
I THINK PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT POLITICAL
CORRECTNESS TOO MUCH.
9 OUT OF TEN TIMES SOMEBODY IS SAYING, CAN YOU BE DECENT
TO OTHER PEOPLE AND NOT GRATUITOUSLY OFFEND THEM,
BUT SOMETIMES THERE IS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS RUN AMOK.
THIS IS CLOSE TO THAT.
REALLY?
I THINK SO.
I WOULD AGREE WITH YOU IF I KNEW MORE ABOUT THIS STORY.
SHE IS VERY VAGUE ABOUT WHAT SHE DID.
THE VICTIM HAS NOT COME
FORWARD TO SHARE HIS OR HER EXPERIENCES, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED.
SO IT IS HARD FOR ME TO SAY SHE IS BEING TOO
POLITICALLY CORRECT.
I DO KNOW THAT IN SOME CASES, ESPECIALLY
IN YOUR EARLY 20íS AT COLLEGE, YOU DO GET DRUNK, AND WHAT DOES
IT MEAN TO ASK FOR CONSENT BEFORE EVERY PHYSICAL
INTERACTION?
EVERY TIME I TOUCH SOMEBODY'S SHOULDER DO I HAVE TO ASK
FOR CONSENT?
EVERY TIME I KISS SOMEONE DO I HAVE TO ASK FOR CONSENT?
EVERY TIME I STRADDLE SOMEBODY DO I HAVE TO ASK FOR CONSENT?
DEFINITELY THE LATTER.
OKAY, FOR SURE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, I DON'T MEAN TO MINIMIZE WHAT
ALLEGEDLY HAPPENED TO THIS VICTIM, I JUST NEED MORE
DETAILS.
IT MIGHT VERY WELL HAVE BEEN SEXUAL ASSAULT.
SHE IS
APOLOGIZING FOR IT, WHY DON'T I TAKE HER WORD FOR IT?
BUT THERE
ARE SOME CONTEXT CUES THAT MADE ME QUESTION THE STATE OF AFFAIRS
OVERALL ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES.
THIS HAPPENS TO BE IN THE UK.
FOR EXAMPLE ñ ñ AND TO BE CLEAR, MOST OF THOSE CODES, TO ANSWER
YOUR QUESTION, IT'S OKAY TO HAVE NONVERBAL CONSENT.
LEANING
IN FOR A KISS IS NONVERBAL CONSENT.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIGN
A CONTRACT FOR IT.
A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE TO ATTACK THAT, BUT
MOST OF THE TIME IT IS WAY
OVERBLOWN.
IF YOU ARE DRUNK AND YOU GRAB SOMEBODY'S ASS, THAT IS
NOT OKAY.
WHEN EVERYBODY IS DIRTY DANCING AT A FRAT PARTY,
THE LINES ARENíT SO CLEAR.
IN THIS PARTICULAR CASE, SHE SAYS ñ ñ
THERE ARE JUST LITTLE THINGS
LIKE, THERE'S APPARENTLY THINGS CALLED LIBERATION SPACES AT
OXFORD.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.
IT JUST FEELS LIKE, WHAT,
WE GO IN THERE, YOU ARE LIBERATED.
I AM MAKING FUN AND
THEY'RE GOING TO HATE ME FOR THAT, AND THERE'S PROBABLY A
GOOD REASON, BUT IT JUST SOUNDS
SUPER LIB.
BUT WHEN SHE EXPLAINS WHAT SHE DID, SHE WARNS PEOPLE
THAT THIS COULD BE A TRIGGER.
ANYTHING THAT COULD BE IN ANY
WAY OFFENSIVE TO ANYONE ON THE PLANET, TRIGGER WARNING.
COME ON, WE ARE ADULTS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TRIGGER WARNING ME.
A THIRTEEN-YEAR-OLD ISN'T READING
THIS, YOUíRE ON A COLLEGE CAMPUS, WE'RE ADULTS,
WE DON'T NEED A TRIGGER WARNING.
YOU CAN HATE ME FOR THAT,
I DON'T CARE.
MORE IMPORTANTLY, TO THE POINT OF THIS STORY,
SHE SAYS, NOT ONLY DID I NOT
PROPERLY GAIN CONSENT BEFORE EVERY ACT, BUT SHE SAID THERE
THAT THE PERSON COMPLAINED ñ ñ SHE SAID THE OTHER PARTY LATER
INFORMED ME THAT THE SEX WAS NOT CONSENSUAL.
WELL, IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN INCUMBENT ON THAT PERSON TO INFORM YOU AT THE TIME.
NOW,
AGAIN, THERE ARE VAGUE LINES THERE.
THAT'S DOES NOT MEAN SHE
HAS TO SCREAM OR DO SOMETHING PHYSICAL, NO, OF COURSE NOT.
BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I DON'T KNOW, HOW MUCH DID SHE NOT
INFORM YOU?
IF YOU HAD NO IDEA, YOU GO IN FOR A KISS AND SHE KISSES YOU.
YOU GUYS HAVE SEX, THEN AFTERWARDS SHE SAYS THE
NEXT AFTERNOON, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU, THAT WASN'T CONSENSUAL.
NO, NO, NO.
IT DEPENDS.
AND IT ALSO DEPENDS ON ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION.
IF THEY WERE BOTH DRUNK AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THE ALLEGED
VICTIM HERE HAD SO MUCH TO DRINK THAT THEY COULD NOT CONSENT,
BUT THE AGGRESSOR, ALLEGED AGGRESSOR WAS ALSO DRUNK
AND DID NOT REALLY REALIZE THAT CONSENT WASNíT REALLY
POSSIBLE IN THAT SITUATION, THESE ARE ALL FACTORS THAT
MAKE THE SITUATION A LOT MORE COMPLICATED.
IT IS HARD TO DRAW CONCLUSIONS BASED ON HER APOLOGY
LETTER, BECAUSE IT IS VERY VAGUE.
YOU DON'T KNOW THE DETAILS, AND HOW MUCH ALCOHOL WAS INVOLVED.
BY THE WAY, HER FELLOW LIBS AT OXFORD DID NOT ACCEPT HER
APOLOGY.
THEY SAID IT WAS RAPE APOLOGISM.
SHE STEPS DOWN FROM EVERYTHING THAT SHE IS DOING.
SHE WON'T EVEN ENTER THE LIBERATION SPACES, WHATEVER THEY
ARE.
THE LIBERATED SPACES, SHE WON'T EVEN ENTER THEM BECAUSE
SHE HAS VIOLATED THE CODE.
I AM TELLING YOU, EVERYTHING FROM THE
STORY POINTS TO THE FACT THAT THE CODE MIGHT BE A LITTLE BIT TOO HARSH.
MAYBE THEY ARE DRAWING LINES WHERE THEY SHOULD NOT DRAW LINES.
FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS STORY
WE'RE GOING TO REITERATE THAT WE DON'T KNOW THE DETAILS OF WHAT
THEY DID OR DID NOT DO THAT DAY,
BUT I WILL SAY THIS: IF YOU GAVE NONVERBAL CONSENT THAT DAY, AND
EVERYTHING WAS GOOD, YOU DON'T GET TO CHANGE YOUR MIND THE NEXT
DAY.
THAT IS WHAT INFURIATES ME.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT IS
WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CASE, BUT
THE WAY SHE WROTE IT ñ ñ REMEMBER, THIS IS HER
PERSPECTIVE AND NOT THE VICTIM'S PERSPECTIVE BUT YOU CANNOT
COME BACK THE NEXT DAY AND BE LIKE, IN HINDSIGHT I CHANGED MY
MIND ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED THERE AND I'VE DECIDED THAT HE
SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ME.
NO WAY.