Hello, I'm Doug Jones. And today,
we're gonna talk about Lawn Chair Larry!
Cheers. Cheers.
Our story begins in 1962.
A 13-year-old boy named Larry Walters
walks into an army-navy surplus store.
And amongst the Swiss Army knives
and the heavy-duty flashlights,
he sees, right before him, a weather balloon.
Suddenly, inspiration hits him like a bolt of lightning.
He says, “Oh my God.
If I had enough of these balloons,
I could fly.”
He graduates from high school
and enlists in the U.S. Air Force.
But due to his poor eyesight,
he's rejected.
And this devastates him. But he says, “You know what?
I'm not gonna let this stop me.”
Fast-forward to 1982.
Larry is now a 33-year-old truck driver,
and he still hasn't been able
to get this idea of flying out of his head.
Larry's driving his truck. He hears an airplane.
He looks up, and he's like, “Son of a bitch.
That's gonna be me someday.
Out of my way, asshole!”
[Imitates horn honking]
[Laughs]
Let it out.
So he brings his girlfriend, Carol,
into the very same army-navy surplus store
he went to as a kid.
He says, “I'm gonna buy a bunch of these balloons.
I'm gonna tie them to a lawn chair,
and then I'm gonna fly.”
She says, “You can't do that.
That's way too dange -” [Burps]
Excuse me.
“That's way too dangerous.”
He says, “No, no, no, no, no. I know what I'm doing.”
And Carol says, “Wow, OK. I'm in,”
takes out her credit card,
and spends over $4,000 on weather balloons,
a lawn chair, helium tanks,
CB radio set, a BB pellet gun.
So, Larry lays out the plan.
He says, “OK. I'm gonna take off
from your hou - backyard in San Pedro.
I'm gonna fly over the San Gabriel Mountains.
When I reach an altitude of approximately 7,000 feet,
I'm gonna use the BB pistol to shoot out the balloons,
and then I'll gradually begin my safe descent
into the Mojave Desert.
Now, here's the important part.
Right before I take off, you're gonna notify the F.A.A.
so that I don't get hit by a plane.
I really don't wanna get hit by a plane.”
I spilled on my nuts. [Snorts]
So, uh...
Larry establishes his ground crew,
which consists of his girlfriend, Carol,
and his buddy Ron.
He's like, “Hey, what's up? I'm Ron.”
They take 42 weather balloons and fill them with helium,
tie it to an aluminum lawn chair,
tie that to
two dozen jugs of water for ballast.
Larry christens his contraption
“Inspiration I.”
And he's like, “OK, it's go time.
Let's rock and roll.” They cut the first tether.
Suddenly, Carol's like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait.
Wait a minute. Larry, this is a big mistake.”
Larry turns to Carol and says, “Baby...
I'm sorry,
but a man can't just sit around.”
[Laughs] Right then and there,
a gust of wind comes along
and the second tether snaps in half,
and Larry shoots off into the sky
at 1,000 feet per minute!
Carol freaks out.
Larry is, uh, up in the sky,
and he's like, “Oh my God.
My greatest wish has come true!”
Ron turns to Carol and says, “My God, Carol.
We forgot to notify the F.A.A”"
Oh my God. I'm so drunk.
So, uh... [Laughs]
Larry gets on a CB radio,
and he's like...
“OK, I'm at 500 feet.
I am now entering federal airspace.
I am at 1,450 feet -
higher than the Sears Tower.
I am now at 6,500 feet.
I'm above the clouds.”
At that very moment, two commercial airplane pilots..
[Burps] ...flying by.
He's like, “You see the game last night?
That Fernando Valenzuela has one hell of an arm.
[Laughs] That son of a bitch.”
And then Larry's like,
“Now I'm at 8,000 feet.”
[Panting]
Oxygen becomes scarce at 8,500 feet.
He's like, “When I was a teenager,
I experienced Beatlemania,
but this is more like fanana-man...mania.
Am I right?”
And then Larry's like, “Holy shit.
Oh my God.
I'm at 16,000 feet.
I'm three miles above sea level.
I thought I would stop at 7,000,
and now I am a two...
double two... over double.
Oh, good dear God!
Oh, what have I done?”
The pilot looks over.
“Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.”
A guy on a lawn chair holding a gun?
Carol freaks out.
She's like, “Larry, you're too high.
You're gonna get in trouble.”
But she's like, “How's the view?”
And he's like, “It's nice.
It's real good. But you're right.
It's time to come back down now.”
He takes the BB pistol. He shoots up.
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
Seven of the 42 weather balloons.
And then he sets the gun on his lap,
and it falls into the sky, and it's gone.
And he's like, “Oh my God.
Whoa, no!
Oh, no!
What am I gonna do now?”
Well, as it turns out,
35 weather balloons is the perfect amount of balloons
to make a safe and gradual descent into land.
Inspiration I lands on the power cords
in Long Beach,
knocking out the power
in the entire neighborhood.
Carol runs up to him.
Carol says, “Oh my God! Thank God you're OK!”
Gives him a big-ass hug and is like,
“Please tell me you're never gonna do that again.”
He makes the evening news.
He never gets charged with anything.
The very next week,
Larry gets a special invitation
to be a guest on
“Late Night with David Letterman.”
Wow. Letterman says,
“Wow. How does it feel
to accomplish something that you've always wanted to do?”
And Larry says,
“I've achieved inner peace,
and I'm the happiest person alive today.”
♪ Taking me out of the space I was in ♪
♪ Making my wishes come true ♪
♪ Believe it or not, I'm walking on air ♪
♪ Never thought I could feel so ♪
♪ Free-ee-ee ♪
♪ Flying away on ♪
♪ Balloons and a chair ♪
♪ Who could it be? ♪
♪ Believe it or not ♪
♪ It's Larry ♪
And that's now officially a parody,
which is royalty-free, so you can use this.
To Larry Walters. Larry Walters.
Is there an army-navy surplus store in the area?
Stay tuned for more “Drunk” - [balloon pops]
[Laughs] [Laughs]