- Welcome to the grace digital presentation.
In this video, we will be discussing seven steps
to getting into a successful marriage.
Number one, propose.
Every man that seeks to wed needs to find his wife.
And the finding process is not a spiritual one.
You must open your physical eyes wide to see.
That way, you can evaluate what you see
whether it is what you want or not.
The walk into marriage starts with a proposal.
It requires you're walking up to the woman
you have decided to marry,
out of the many you saw
and telling her that you desire to marry her.
When you find a girl to propose to,
do not beat around the bush
or harass her when telling her you would like to marry her.
All you need to do is go right to the point
and tell her your intentions.
You may say to the woman,
I want your hand in marriage.
Let me know your decision after you think about it.
And don't go telling the lady,
God said you will be my bride.
Each one shall find his own wife
and by himself.
The proposal must be a consequence of your own decision,
which is based on facts.
Refrain from allowing religion to cloud your judgment
on who to marry.
The facts that should inform your choice
of who to marry are,
do I agree with her personality,
habits and viewpoints?
Amos three three says,
"Can two people walk together
"without agreeing on the direction?"
Your choice of who to marry
should not be based on dreams either.
A marriage proposal needs to be based on articulated facts,
such as, do we possess the same goals?
Are we going in the related direction?
God respects your decision,
so don't be afraid to make one.
But it is not only the man
that has the power to make choices.
The woman also has a right to choose who she wants to marry.
Don't put pressure on people to marry you
nor should you gather people around an innocent woman
to put pressure on her to agree to marry you.
When trying to choose who to marry,
it is vital that you do not choose to marry an unbeliever,
no matter the dream or vision.
As a believer, your kinsmen is a fellow believer.
And the Abrahamic covenant demands
that we marry among our kin only,
you should not be permitted to marry a stranger.
Do not even consider that eventually she might be saved.
Remember, it is easier for a skeptic to make you backslide,
then for you to save her.
Second Corinthians six 14 through 16 commands,
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
"For what do righteousness
"and wickedness have in common?
"Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
"What harmony is there between Christ and Belial?
"Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
"What agreement is there between the temple of God
"and the idols?
"For we are the temple of the living God."
The unbeliever is definitely not the right choice
when considering who to marry.
You don't even have to pray about it.
The proposal should be based on facts
and when the answer from the other party is definite,
then move on to the next step.
To get the best in anything, you need facts,
facts lay the roads of success.
Number two, preparation.
Preparation as a fact finding period
when the man and woman start getting
to understand themselves
and start to put their facts together into the future
they both envision.
If at this stage, the relationship is not going well,
or you discover that you can't go any further
because you both differ on certain fundamentals,
and that your expectations are distances apart,
then common sense requires
that you call it quits directly.
Breaking an engagement is scripturally allowed,
it is not considered a divorce
and should not be substituted for one.
Saying I do too a marriage proposal is different
from saying I do in actual marriage.
Many permit themselves during their engagement period
and ultimately get married.
And after that, enter into all sorts of crisis.
Take note that the quality of preparation you put
into any task, determines the quality of the result you get.
Lack of sufficient preparation is the reason
for the high rate of divorce in the modern world.
They marry very promptly,
and pack it up just as fast too.
A time of preparation is typically allowed
in many strict cultures.
But unfortunately, once you are engaged in such systems,
marriage is in most cases compulsory.
Once both families get to know themselves
an attempt to call off the relationship
is often resisted by members of either family.
Some parents would say they have already accepted gifts
from the other family.
So it is impossible to break the relationship.
Young people, please don't allow someone
to tie your destiny down simply by exchanging gifts.
The preparation for marriage is not in prayers,
but in fact finding
and an in depth analysis of open facts,
to decide whether there is any prospect
in the decision to marry.
Once your preparation is enough,
you move on to the next step.
Number three, proceed.
It is at this stage you proceed to inform all those
who need to be informed
such as both parents and family members,
you are not permitted to continue
until you are satisfied with the available facts.
Number four, promote.
At this point, you begin promoting the plan for marriage.
The couple starts to take practical steps
toward getting married, by putting the vital things
for marriage in order.
For instance, as a man,
you can't be a squatter in another person's home
and want to be married.
Therefore, this period of promoting the relationship
is the time to secure an apartment,
no matter the size,
life comes in phases,
no matter how small the house is,
it is wise to obtain yours.
If three of you were sharing an apartment
before you got married,
things can't remain in that situation after marriage.
Otherwise, what you will have in your home
would be a slave not a wife,
as she would have too much pressure in that situation.
Also, because you are living in your relative's home,
you are still a boy.
One room outside of your family's house makes a home.
Unlike a boys quarters behind his house,
therefore, a man that wants to marry must have a place
where he can be a man,
not where he is considered a boy.
The truth is, you are not qualified for marriage
if you're still eating your parents food.
If you don't have a room,
a bed and cooking containers,
then you are not equipped for marriage.
An individuals age is not what determines
your preparedness for marriage.
What you have not planned for you, can succeed it.
Number five, protect.
Now that you are set for marriage,
you must protect your future
by protecting yourselves from defilement.
The honor in marriage must be saved
by saving the marriage bed from degradation.
Hebrews 13:4 says,
"Marriage should be honored by all
"and the marriage bed kept pure."
Defilement of bed is also the defilement of marital destiny.
It takes the mercy of God to restore the honor
and marriage after it is defiled.
Take note, your temptation is not equal to sin,
falling into temptation is what is termed sin.
Jesus was tempted at all points just as we are,
yet he was without sin.
You take refuge under God and prayers
and then take effective steps
to protect yourself from falling,
protection is essential to your desired destiny.
Number six, protest.
This is the time in the process to say no
to any unpleasant or unacceptable issue
you may have discovered in each other.
If you can understand yourselves well before you get married
and start living together,
it will be tough to have a wonderful family,
you need to know what suits one another
and the courtship period is the time to do it.
For example, if you had earlier agreed on specific terms,
and then suddenly there is a deviation from it,
you can react,
this protest will help make the problems right.
So that when the home is eventually formed,
there will be a free flow of communication
between the both of you.
Also, if any of the spouses family members raise
some problems that can jeopardize your future,
you are permitted to protest.
You have the right to say,
this won't work, on so and so principle.
To succeed in marriage, you can't be a boy
and you must be a man with respectable views.
If people have to buy wedding suits
and shirts for you,
they will have the final say in your marital affairs.
Number seven, possess.
After all the above is accomplished.
The next thing to do is possess your wife or husband,
and then the home is born.
This is the point where you both walk to the altar
to be wedded.
At this point, the young man can now stand
in front of many witnesses and say,
I John, or I Paul, wed thee.
At this stage, the man is ready for his home.
He is set mentally,
he is happy with everything about the woman.
At this point he is in order
and the system to make the home succeed is in order.
He is leaving boyhood for manhood,
as marriage is not for boys,
boyhood it must be left behind.
At this point you can be sure
that a glorious future awaits you in your home
and that you are going for something very colorful
and magnificent.
The race is not allowed to begin
until these steps are thoroughly in place.
And if you are responsible for your choice,
then you won't seek for someone to blame.
Marriage is neither a myth nor is it magic.
Marriage is a relationship
that is to be entered into consciously.
You don't arise one morning
and find somebody by your side.
The last time this happened was in the Garden of Eden,
after the incident in the Garden of Eden,
God's new rule for marriages,
Proverbs 18:22,
"He who finds a wife
"finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."
He who finds, not he who prayth
or he who fasteth.
Let us pray.
We pray you will succeed
and your home shall be the Haven God created it to be
in Jesus's name.
We pray that you have a successful marriage even if
you did not grow up in one
and we pray you were blessed by this video.
May the love I have in my marriage
be an example to the world of how you love them
and gave your life for them.
Follow God's example,
therefore as dearly loved children
and walk in the way of love.
Just as Christ loved us
and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering
and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians five one through two,
"You've given marriage as a holy relationship that reflects
"our relationship with you.
Show us how to follow your example
and set aside our selfishness and pride
and humbly serve each other.
Help us to be one spirit and have one mind
and value each other above ourselves.
looking out for each other's interests.
Philippians two, two through four 'In the midst
"of our busy lives, help us take the time
"to love each other deeply from the heart
"as you have loved us."
Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart
"and with all your soul and with all your mind."
This is the first and greatest commandment
and the second is like it.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments.
Lord, Matthew 22:36 through 40 tells us
that your greatest command was to love you
and love each other.
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