Well, my stay in the US... P-P-Peter! A Slovak guy taking over YouTube
PPPeter! I will make your mom laugh and you too.
*national anthem of USA*
firstly I was really surprised that they let me in without any problems because I
looked like an Armenian terrorist in my visa
I stayed four months in California and the first thing that I noticed was the
women. So fake and their attitude.. Oh hey how are you? - Im good
how are you?? Im gooood - Yeeeahh?
Yeah
another thing that surprised me is a very frequent shop called CVS. The
branches I went to had the strangest combination of services
photo plus pharmacy. I can think of only one use of this combination
alright sir, your medication for the final stage of pneumonia.. and now a photo!
say cheese! - Death. - you're gonna be so beautiful on your tombstone!
I forgot to tell you I wasn't on a vacation, but on a work and travel
program for young students. Although I had to work, it's still California c'mon
beaches, Sun, parties, drugs, so my expectations were really high
but the reality was different
come on, table four has been waiting for an hour! don't shout at me I'm working!
out of my way!
they said it was overcooked! they said it was undercooked!
bring it to table 5, I'm too busy
just finding a job was so hard and stressful
I wanted to work in a restaurant in any position, but I guess they got scared of
my CV
I have a feeling they may have imagined the Slovak waiter like this. - Server!
bring me some pigs feet! And clear the vomit from my table!
yeah I'm coming
so I had to put a lot of Lies into my CV. I put so much foreign experience that I
felt like a super waiter. - Wanna order something?
I am on my way. you should also call me when you want to pay
I'm a super waiter, I'm a super waiter
I aint got no limits, I'm faster then you, hater. I'm a super waiter
I'm a super waiter, come on hire me quickly, you can thank me later
my expectations after I was a super waiter in my CV, were high again
you can thank me later - oh my god you are so experienced in the restaurant
business
I will give this CV to the manager once he shows up - all right thank you very
much bye
who was that? - a guy from Slovakia with a lot of experience
Slovakia? the best waiters are from Slovakia! and tons of experience you say?
bring him back immediately before someone else hires him!!
come on come on quickly! mr. Peter come back you're hired! - but the reality was
different
you can thank me later
so you're from Serbia? - Slovakia actually - yeah, we'll definitely call you - all right
thank you
ok
who was that? - some unemployed fella from Russia - Russia??
why the fuck did you let him in? - after this I was forced to put even more lies
into my CV, so I put a lot of American experience there, but I started to be a
little bit lost in all the different information that I put into different
CVs and when I finally got a call inviting me for an interview
I didn't know which CV i gave them! - so Peter tell me about yourself
is this your first time in the US? - yeah it's actually my first week here in this
country ever! I love it here especially the weather! - hold on a second, according to
your cv you worked in New York in 2012
los angeles in 2013 and new jersey in 2014
I cannot understand - sir, have you ever heard of time travel? most people
underestimate the power of wormholes in our universe
I was in New Jersey LA and New York but in a parallel universe and I wanted to
be totally honest with you sir
that's why I put those columns into my CV - Don't touch me, you freak! - but eventually I
found a job in an Italian restaurant
fine dining, looked awesome, everyone would think that an Italian chef is
going to greet them
after entering the kitchen! Hello my friend, come and try my new pizza!
but again reality hit me. - Hola cabron, que quieres, tenemos mierda, hahahaha!!!
I don't know why I had such a bad luck, but once I was forced to call 911 and I
waited three minutes for a response
imagine I would be dying or shot
our dispatchers are currently busy, please stay on the line and we will get
back to you shortly
unfortunately this wasn't the end of my problems
it may seem unrealistic, but I had to sue a guy in front of the court/ it's related
to the 911 call/ after so much shit with paperwork
I finally got a date for my trial. Three months after i had to leave the US. In
this case for foreigners whose visa is expired there is only one option
and I'm not joking now: lawsuit via phone. I was planning to be in Argentina
trekking in a nature the day of my hearing
ladies and gentlemen I open today's case. is the defendant, mr. Johnson ready?
yeah. is the plaintiff mr. Peter ready?
can you hear me?
but I won the case, found another good job, went gambling to Vegas and the end
of my stay was awesome
if you liked my video subscribe to my channel here, make sure you like my
facebook page and I have a lot of other social media, so you know what to do
*Spanish*