[Applause]
you knew it was gonna be you or me you
knew
the night before you were probably
thinking o'brien's good
cheated though i put another hundred
thousand dollars into my campaign just
the night before just the night before
yeah i think my hair frightens them
frankly
i think that's what did it i think it's
it looks like next year
are you just looking at my hair right
now next year's winner you look stunned
looking at my hair right now
it is it is an amazing marathon isn't it
incredible incredible it's like candy
it's like a big cake i baked and put on
my head
but enough about me will get to me later
i hope and talk a lot about me
i want to talk about you you've got some
exciting uh news because stuff going on
your personal life you just got a nice
piece of information what was this i did
my oldest brother 51
his name is rooster apartment his name
is what
his name he was born michael but he's
been rooster since he was he's rooster
18 years old because no matter what time
he goes to sleep he's always up at the
crack of dawn
right anyway what happened he's um why
not call him crack
the other reason because his hair is
kind of like yours
you're out of here well rooster that's
kind of a hey rooster that's a rooster
so um
he has a son from his first marriage
madison who is my nephew
who's 31 so i've been an uncle since i
was i guess about five
and he just had his uh second
child it was a baby boy 7.7 pound baby
boy
and guess what he named him what miller
light mcconaughey
neverland that's going to be a healthy
kid there you go
that kid's going to be laid back if you
if if your uh brother doesn't get some
free miller light out of this
wow miller light that's uh yeah that's a
cool
and is is is he just a fan of miller
light you're you're
he's
before naming his kid miller light he
should have been receiving
uh gratis middle line right right now uh
he yeah he is a fan of miller knight do
you think they'll end up calling him
miller light or hey miller like get over
here he changed he goes
but i made the middle name l-y-t-e just
so he could
trick the teachers a little bit right
right okay
yeah the teacher's not even going to let
him into the class that's going to be a
good storyteller he'd be me he'll
probably be mill or something like that
no no no i think he's just
gonna be hey yeah that's just gonna come
out it was the first one they're like
yeah you gotta get this hey case what
are you doing
uh i like it i like it i was conan i got
the crap beat out of me i'd
rather be miller light um now you
you know this is something i you've been
on the show a bunch of times and i've
bumped into a few events and
i have to say you're and i like this
about you a lot you're one of the more
sort of
laid-back guys i know that's that's in
this business and it's not an
act you really are you're very centered
you know and you have a nice
philosophy of life is that not true keep
living just what is your philosophy
keep living just keep living jk living
the j is for just the case for keep
i got it i didn't yeah
you didn't spell it for me uh but just
keep living that's
that's setting expectations so low like
just
just stay alive you got to start right
there
right that's nice you still got to be uh
pretty jazzed about getting out of bed
in the morning you're being bad there's
another day out there and
also something happened right after my
father passed away in 1992
i was learning how to deal with that
with his with his uh moving on
right right which is a reason why i look
at him moving on instead of him dying
right you know you just keep living now
the body went down but the man's still
here
right um and in that way i mean it's a
verb
right it's uh uh it's about taking a day
at a time but having the big picture
in mind it's uh it's about and instead
of ore
it's about uh rights instead of rules
it's uh give a direction
but you can take the exits you know um
so it's just it's sort of a compass is
what it's been for me
and i'm able to apply it to most
everything i do and when i'm doing my
best i'm adhering to that accomplishment
well this is interesting because you
know do you like you say you apply this
to everyday life
but does it like what's your schedule
look like does it is it you know does it
say
you know night because you got to go to
meetings and stuff like that do you try
and put in other stuff that reminds you
to just keep living yeah yeah yeah yeah
and those meetings are part of that too
right because you know if you don't do
your work then the next day after a
while you don't have any money and life
kind of sucks
yeah right right but you i do i'm a big
list maker
i am a business i love buckslips right
so my favorite thing to do on buckslips
is mark out what i've done
right and and i believe that i know it's
helped with my happiness in life is
you put the big stuff on there you've
got the meeting you've got a meeting at
nine
script you've got to read break this
down sit down with the acting coach but
also put down the things like
have a beer um you know um
um call your girlfriend um if
you know take take a walk uh uh make
some coffee
put extra cream in it right quick little
inhale so you can exhale
inhale then you can be checking off all
the time
i knocked off 32 things today man and
you go look at this look what i've
accomplished
900 things i accomplished yeah wow good
for you
this is nice so you're living it and uh
you know what's interesting to me
you you know you because you're you
share this sort of enthusiasm for life
in in everything you do i know you're a
big sports fan you're a football fan
yeah did you go back to your old alma
mater and you
when they're up for the championship
game what's that what do you university
texas
yes
it's like a swear in finland uh no i
just made that up uh
but you went back the university of
texas when their big game oh
okay now it's getting dirty uh
you uh you went back and you gave an
inspirational speech when they're about
to play the championship game
well actually the championship game they
were ready for that the rose bowl right
um that that game i just wanted to look
in the guy's eyes sorry to get them to
that game yeah
great but the the big 12 championship i
went back there to practice and coach
matt brown and i had talked about it and
i was like you know
the beginning of the year he said the
goal of the team was to win the big 12
championship
right and we knew then if they won that
game they would then go play
probably usc in the national
championship and i was like you know you
gotta
you gotta get the goal if you wanna live
the dream and he loved that so he took
that
and talked a lot about it and then i
talked to some of the kids about it and
um
yeah that's another just keep living but
it would have been funny if you'd gone
in there and they were all like ready
for this big inspirational go out there
win one for the gift and you went hey
man just keep living
they're like what you win you lose right
left what it all means you know
and the coach is like get out of here
they just said
daddy said uh losing sucks and losing
herds
so that's not living right so let's go
ahead and win that's better living
yeah i believe so but um this team at
the national championship didn't need to
hear
anything from me right they were there
they were ready um like i said all i
wanted to do then was look in their eyes
and they had a great sober look in their
eyes man that they were like we're not
just happy to be here man
yeah watch what we do today and they did
go do it right right they could see the
victory beforehand
all right now let's let's talk about
this we have failure to launch this is
the new movie this is you
sarah jessica parker yeah and uh it's an
interesting idea
you're a guy who is i believe in in the
movie you're 35 year old guy who refuses
to leave the house
you're still living with your parents
and she's hired
she's hired i know people like this uh
this was me until like two years ago uh
but you you so sarah jessica parker i
guess is hired by
your parents in the movie to uh to talk
to you
or to try to fall for her and then i
fall for her she says come on let's move
out i go and she says bye bye
right right so then i'm out of the house
she's supposed to lure you out of the
house right yeah no it's a funny idea
for film i'm on to her after a while
yeah it doesn't go that smoothly no it
wouldn't be a movie if it went down
smoothly
that's not how movies work let's try
this plan and it worked perfectly
hey we could run more films a day though
sure yeah
60 films a day