Well, it kind of depends on the circumstances, and
I'm gonna tell you how it all plays out in this video,
So, stay tuned.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert, a lawyer and author and
on this channel, and in these videos,
I give you tips and tricks on how to
powerfully shift the dynamic with narcissists and
if that is something that you are interested in doing,
I invite you to hit subscribe and
hit that notification bell and stick around.
So, how do narcissists react when you get emotional?
Obviously this happens a lot, especially when negotiating,
because they do try to trigger you.
This is something they like to do, especially in negotiations,
they want you to get emotional a lot of times and
it kind of depends on the emotion too
that we're talking about.
So, if it's like crying and tears, that kind of emotion,
well, this is not going to go well for you because
that kind of crying and that sort of thing,
that sort of emotion, they basically resent.
Because that's what they use it for.
So they just assume that's what you're doing it for.
They see it as like a play,
they see it as you're just trying to be dramatic,
they see it as like you're trying to control them.
If you're doing it in front of other people,
that you're trying to manipulate the situation,
basically, that's what they do,
that's what they're using it for,
so they just kind of assumed that,
that's what you're using it for.
So they definitely resent it.
You're not going to get the reaction that you're hoping for.
That's for sure. That's number one.
If they see that you're now triggered in other ways,
like you're upset, you are angry,
you are losing control, that they like, okay,
because that now they see that you're weak
that they're getting to you
that now it's an opportunity to use it against you,
those kinds of emotions they like, the crying,
that sort of thing they hate you for that.
They resent it. They see it as weakness,
that sort of thing they don't like,
but the other kinds of emotions where you're kind of losing it,
you're out of control, that kind of thing they love,
because then they know they have you,
then they know that they're able to control you,
that they're able to trigger you.
The one thing you're definitely not going to feel for you,
the one thing that you were hoping for probably.
All those kinds of things, they're not going to feel that
they're certainly not going to feel guilty,
they're certainly not going to feel love or any
of those emotions that you're hoping to elicit from them.
Certainly not and closely related, by the way,
is you're hoping that they maybe
they feel sorry or something like that,
they're not going to feel that and so, by the way,
I do have a whole video on if they do actually say sorry,
What are they actually saying?
That's called “Do narcissists apologize?” and
if they do, do they mean it?
You can definitely check that out if you'd like.
So this is why you often feel very sucked dry,
why they're all often called energy vampires,
because you're so crazed with
trying to make them happy all the time and
try to figure out what it is that they want and
they're just taking, taking and you're just giving, giving and
you're never being able to receive.
It's always giving all the time.
You know that it's definitely true.
So, again, if it's crying, no, they hate it, they resent it,
they just feel like you're just being manipulative,
if it's anger, if it's like out of control,
they love that, they know they have you,
they know they've sucked you and
they know they've triggered you,
they get a high from those kinds of emotional responses.
It gives them narcissistic supply.
That's why they're constantly moving goal posts in negotiations,
that's why they don't want the negotiations to actually end
a lot of times people in negotiations are like,
what is it that they want?
I'll just give it to them,
I just want to be done with this thing and
they make mistakes like early on thinking,
“Oh, I'll just give in on these things and
they'll see how good I've been and
they'll just give me the other things that I want”
Well, you can't think like that because
they're not thinking like a rational person.
They enjoy the process of jerking you around,
they enjoy that part of it,
they enjoy watching you be triggered and out of control,
that part, they actually get an emotional high from,
the worst part for them is no emotion,
they actually don't like that,
no trigger at all,
that doesn't give them any narcissistic supply,
when you're not triggered whatsoever,
they want you to be triggered in some way,
they just don't want you to be crying and
sad and all that sort of thing because
when you're like that, they just assume that
you're trying to manipulate them in some way and
they just don't know what to do with that,
they don't know how to handle that.
So, that's how they react when you get emotional and
so when you were going to negotiate with them,
you have to understand how they're handling
all these various emotions and
make sure that you are powerfully using and understanding them,
so that when you go to negotiate with them,
you are doing it in a way,
that is smart and strategic and okay,
I'm not going to give them narcissistic supply in certain ways and
I'm certainly not going to go over here and
start to cry or do these things because,
it's not going to get anywhere,
but maybe there's certain things that you can do
that will allow you to shift the dynamic and
allow you to have things work for you rather than against you.
That's why you definitely want to approach this,
in a way that understands the personality and
basically use it against them and
that's why I call it ethically manipulating the manipulator,
because they’re actually a very simple personality to understand.
They’re horrible and toxic to deal with and
cause lots of what I call drama, trauma and chaos,
but they're actually pretty simple to understand, and
then you have to work within that dynamic,
to create that strategy, and create that leverage.
So, if you are negotiating with a narcissist,
make sure to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
you can start off by grabbing that at winmynegotiation.com and
joining my free private Facebook group
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me that comment,
love to know what you think,
what other ways have you seen narcissists react to emotions?
Would love to know what you think in the comments below.
If you haven't subscribed to my channel,
I invite you to do that now,
subscribe and hit that notification bell.
I’m Rebecca Zung.
I'm so glad that you stopped by.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will definitely see you in the next video.