>> Speaker 1: They aren't the worst movies you've seen and
they might even be considered good.
But they definitely aren't the jaw droppingly, seat edge clingingly,
life changingly epic journeys you thought they'd be when you bought your tickets.
These are the most disappointing movies of 2013.
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>> Speaker 2: Come on, let's go to Paris'.
I wanna rob.
>> Speaker 1: Starting us off at number five, The Bling Ring.
Whoever thought a film about teenage superficiality could be so shallow.
>> Speaker 3: I'm just jealous.
>> Speaker 1: Sophia Coppola is best known for
the incredible Lost in Translation, and being Francis Ford's daughter.
So when she announces a new film, people at least sit up and take interest.
But Sophia finds no deeper meaning beneath her celebrity obsessed characters.
They're observed impartially and at arm's length.
And this works for Lost In Translation because we feel the distance and
ache for closeness along with Johanson and Murray.
But in The Bling Ring, we just don't identify with Emma Watson and
her crew at all.
>> Speaker 4: I'm a first believer in karma, and
I think this situation was attracted into my life as a huge learning lesson for me.
>> Speaker 1: Maybe there was something there, but
if there was Sophia didn't find it.
>> Speaker 5: Want a fight?
>> Speaker 1: Number four, Only God Forgives.
Instant cult classic Drive launched Nicolas Winding Refn into the mainstream
faster than sweatshop workers could embroider scorpions onto white
satin jackets.
>> Speaker 6: Hold still.
>> Speaker 1: Needless to say, he and
Ryan Gosling had a lot of heat going into their next flick together.
Unfortunately, Nicholas forgot to wake Gosling up for it,
because he sleep walks through the entire film.
>> Speaker 7: And you just sit there thinking he got what he deserved.
>> Speaker 1: Yes, it's a reprise of Drive's minimalist dialogue, and yes,
Gosling gives an encore of staring enigmatically into the middle distance.
But, in this case, it's more zombie than badass.
And the movie, with all its gratuitous torture and
murder commits cinema's worst sin, it's just play boring.
>> Speaker 8: Who is this Gatsby?
>> Speaker 1: Number three, The Great Gatsby.
Take one of the greatest American novels and announce a film adaptation, and
you've already set expectations too high.
Throw in Baz Luhrmann, a love him or hate him director, who pulled off a tricky
modern remake of Shakespeare, and you've got an equation for excitement.
>> Speaker 9: I'm certainly glad to see you again.
>> Speaker 1: But this wasn't the first screen adaptation of Fitzgerald's classic.
The 1974 Gatsby touted an impressive cast and a script by Francis Ford Coppola.
But something was missing.
And that's exactly the problem.
The best part of the novel is entirely uncinematic.
It's literary.
While the 2013 version remains faithful to the plot,
it can't preserve Fitzgerald's outstanding prose.
Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet was successful precisely
because it kept Shakespeare's language on the screen, but
that just isn't possible with Gatsby and that is what left the movie feeling flat.
>> Speaker 10: Have you been bad?
>> Speaker 1: At number two we have The Counselor.
An Oscar contender on paper,
The Counselor is a classic example of how mixing together a half dozen of the most
talented people in Hollywood doesn't guarantee an Oscar.
>> Speaker 11: You've got a problem.
>> Speaker 1: Most of this talent was wasted on endless existentialist
monologues and a plot that has nowhere to go but predictable.
Cormac McCarthy, who wrote the books behind The Road and No Country For
Old Men, is certainly to blame in his screenwriting debut.
The script suffers from poor pacing.
It's more concerned with themes and
philosophy than plot, and is generally cruel.
Cormac, while a stellar writer seems better suited for
the bookshelves than the theater.
>> Speaker 12: In five days time, you will die.
>> Speaker 1: Number one, Elysium.
Neill Blomkamp surprised critics and
audiences alike with his 2009 feature debut, District 9.
The concept of an alien apartheid worked shockingly well.
Excited for an encore, people were quick to line up for his sophomore effort.
But where they expected the intelligence and
innovation of District 9, they ended up with something else entirely.
>> Speaker 13: You used to be a legend and now what?
>> Speaker 1: So what did District 9 have that Elysium didn't?
Well by movies end, District 9 was clearly against apartheid.
But in the beginning it tricks us into understanding why the humans wanted to be
separate from the prawns.
Does that make us racist?
We're not entirely sure, but we definitely walked out of the theater thinking that.
No such luck with Elysium, though,
which sets up capital G good guys and capital B bad guys from the get go and
sticks to them, totally missing the point in the process.
So what do you think?
Is there another movie this year that really let you down?
Did you love one of these five movies for what it was?
Click Like and let us know in the comments below.
And be sure to subscribe to CineFix for more IndieWire movie lists.
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