-Republicans are trying to rile up their base
in response to President Biden's new vaccine requirements.
And Rudy Giuliani insisted he was not drunk
when he went on a bizarre rant during a speech
at a 9/11 memorial dinner.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Theme music plays ]
The modern Republican Party
is a bizarre and unhinged institution
populated by crime-adjacent weirdos who pander nonstop
to the ugliest instincts of their base to stay relevant.
For example, Republicans have spent the last few days
expressing outrage not over the deadly virus
that's killed more than 650,000 Americans
and is currently overwhelming hospitals
and ICUs across the country,
but about the president's attempt
to get people vaccinated against that virus.
-There are a number of Republican governors
who have vowed to fight this order.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott tweeted, "Texas
is already working to halt this power grab."
-Governor Brian Kemp of Georgia posting
he will pursue every legal option
"to stop this blatantly unlawful overreach
by the Biden administration."
-South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem
tweeting at Joe Biden, "See you in court."
-One of the most heinous displays
we've ever seen from a president.
-He is the closest thing we've gotten to a dictator yet.
-J.D. Vance, Republican candidate for Senate in Ohio,
released a statement urging people to ignore the president.
"Do not comply with the mandates,"
which, just to be clear, he's saying,
"Don't get vaccinated."
"Only mass civil disobedience will save us
from Joe Biden's naked authoritarianism."
-The governor of South Carolina, Henry McMaster, tweeting,
"Rest assured, we will fight them to the gates of hell
to protect the liberty and livelihood
of every South Carolinian."
-Take it easy, Henry. You're not even gonna fight
somebody to the gates of your community.
And I'm sorry, you'll fight them to the gates of hell?
It's a requirement to get vaccinated
against a deadly respiratory virus,
and you sound like you're writing a screenplay
for a direct-to-VHS Steven Seagal movie
called "Strike Force One."
"The Russians have boarded the boat, and they have nukes!"
[ As Seagal ] "We'll fight them to the gates of hell.
Now, get me my nunchucks."
[ Normal voice ] Nunchucks?! Didn't you hear me?
They have nukes!"
[ As Seagal ] "Don't worry. I'll hide behind that pipe."
[ Normal voice ] But that's what these people do.
It's all performance and manufactured outrage,
designed to gin up their base.
They don't seem to care about the toll of the virus itself
and the immense loss and grief it's wrought.
They just care about mimicking Trump
to pander to their voters. That's why guys like J.D. Vance,
who once called Trump reprehensible,
are now calling for mass civil disobedience
and telling GOP primary voters,
"Do not comply," which I don't get.
It's one thing to say, "I'm pro-vaccine,
but against mandates," but these guys are acting
like mandates are tyranny, when in reality,
mandates exist everywhere and we have to do all kinds
of much more annoying things every day
to live in a functioning society with other people.
I mean, do you think anyone likes waiting in line at the DMV
in order to be able to commute to work?
No one likes that, but we do it.
I was at the DMV for a full day one time
because I waited in line to change my address.
And when I got to the booth, I forgot my pen.
So they told me to wait in the pen line,
which took another three hours.
When I got to the window for a pen,
they told me how to fill out a form.
And I said, "But I don't have a pen."
And they said, "That's not my problem."
But we all have to do [Bleep] like that.
And it's not just a personal choice.
I can't believe I still have to say this, 18 months in.
But you can spread COVID to other people.
It's not just about yourself. That's the difference.
And the Republicans calling Biden a tyrant or dictator
for implementing workplace safety rules,
which multiple polls have now shown have majority support,
did you have the same reaction
when Trump claimed he had the unilateral authority
to order every governor in the country
to reopen their states and force everyone back to work
before a vaccine even existed?
-There's a debate over what authority you have
to order the country reopened. What authority do you have?
-Well, I have the ultimate authority.
The president of the United States has the authority
to do what the president has the authority to do,
which is very powerful.
When somebody is the president of the United States,
the authority is total, and that's the way it's got to be.
I have the absolute right to do it if I want to.
-Again, the ultimate authority sounds like a direct-to-VHS
Steven Seagal movie, where he plays an ex-Navy SEAL
who works at a mall when it gets taken over
by Russian terrorists.
[ As Seagal ] "I'm in charge here.
I have the ultimate authority. Now get me my katana.
It's the, um --
it's, like, the Japanese sword-looking thing."
[ Normal voice ] And for those of you asking,
"Why is it okay for Biden but not Trump,
there's a moral and legal difference
between claiming the power
to implement new workplace safety rules
and claiming total authority to force everyone back to work
to expose themselves to a deadly virus.
If you're comparing the two, you're doing so in bad faith.
That's like saying there's no difference
between forcing people to wear a seatbelt
and forcing car manufacturers to install a third mystery pedal
on the driver's side that either brakes, accelerates,
or launches you straight up into the sky without a parachute.
And as for Biden, he's not backing down,
even in the face of GOP hysterics,
as he made clear over the weekend.
-Have at it.
-Damn, a lot of Seagal energy going around these days!
"Gates of hell," "Have at it."
Politicians are starting to talk like one of those movies
about two old boxers who come out of retirement
to settle a feud one more time.
"I'll send you to the gates of hell."
"Have at it!" "What?"
"I said, 'Have at it.'" "Have at what?"
The GOP has been like this for decades,
but the party's latest transformation
into whatever it is now
is perhaps best embodied by former Mayor Rudy Giuliani,
who the media once hailed as America's mayor,
but who is now essentially a New York City Bigfoot
who hangs out with Eastern European mobsters
and trims his toenails in Panera bathrooms.
I don't even know if he's really done that,
but, I mean, would you be surprised at this point?
I wouldn't be surprised if I was watching
an episode of "World's Dumbest Criminals"
and I saw Rudy on a Duane Reade security camera
trying to use his own keys
to open the shelf where they keep all the razors.
I wouldn't even be surprised
if an employee walked over and said, "You again?!"
In 2001, he was front row at Yankees playoff games,
and now I'm pretty sure he sells off-brand merchandise
on the sidewalk outside the stadium.
[ As Giuliani ] "It doesn't say 'N.Y.'
It says 'M.Y.' for 'my Yankees.'"
[ Laughter ]
[ Normal voice ] And then, on Saturday night,
during an appearance at what has traditionally
been a somber event, an annual 9/11 memorial dinner,
Rudy went on an incoherent rant
where he, among other things, imitated Queen Elizabeth
and insisted out of nowhere
that he never spent any time with Prince Andrew.
-Rudy Giuliani does an annual dinner every year
with people who were involved with him
on September 11, 2001, and for years.
you know, my impression was, it was a somber,
poignant gathering of people to talk about what was lost
and how the city saw itself through that time.
Not really anymore.
-I don't want to sound like a name-dropper,
but I showed this to the Queen of England.
She said, [As Queen Elizabeth] "You did a wonderful job
on September 11, and therefore, I'm making you
an honorary knight, commander of the royal
[Normal voice] something or other."
[ Laughter ] I turned down a knighthood
because if you took a knighthood,
you had to lose your citizenship.
I know Prince Andrew is very questionable now.
I never went out with him. Never.
Never -- Never had a drink with him.
Never was with a woman or a young girl with him,
ever, ever, ever. One time,
I met him in my office,
and one time when we had the party.
Right, Bernie? You were there.
-What a time to be Bernie.
[ Laughter ]
I'm assuming that's Bernie Kerik.
But I don't know, and Rudy probably doesn't know.
Bernie was probably right in the middle
of bragging about his great seats,
and then Rudy bails on his act to do some crowd work.
[ As Giuliani ] "Right, Bernie? We had that podium.
Prince Andrew was there, and nothing creepy happened.
That was right before you got indicted, right, Bernie?
Give it up for Bernie, everybody.
He was with me when we met Prince Andrew.
Nothin' happened!"
You were there and I were there
and Prince Andrew was there, but it was normal."
[ Normal voice ] Look, I'm not saying Rudy was drunk,
but that's usually when guys from Brooklyn
start trying to imitate the Queen of England.
If you're ever in a Coney Island dive bar at 3:00 a.m.,
and someone orders and Amstel Light
instead of a Budweiser,
you can expect to hear one of his friends say,
"Look at this [Bleep] guy.
Oh, I'll have the Amstel Light, and I'm the Queen of England."
[ Laughter ]
But I guess, now that we've heard his British accent,
we know why Rudy lost out on the part of Mrs. Doubtfire.
Of course, if he ever tried to Doubtfire his ex-wife,
she would figure it out right away.
[British accent] "Would you like a spot of tea, dear?"
[ Normal voice ] I know it's you, Rudy.
You're my cousin.
But I guess Rudy can add this tape
to his reel of impressions
if he ever auditions for "America's Not Talent."
-One time, Bill Clinton asked me,
"What's this guy Romney like?" You know what I told him?
"He's our Al Gore."
-Alright, Rudy. -"I'm Spartacus."
Mueller's saying, "Obstruction of justice."
"Obstruction of justice." Which the guy will say,
"Say 'obstruction of justice.'" "Obstruction of justice."
"Did you decide it?" "No."
-Well, I'm definitely not going to Rudy's one-man show.
I'm just kidding. I definitely am.
Why do all of Rudy's impressions sound like a cartoon dog?
He sounds like McGruff the Crime Dog
blitzed out of his mind on some cocaine confiscated from a bust.
And by the way, for the record,
Rudy would like everyone to know he was definitely not drunk.
And he let everyone know in a way
that's very uncharacteristic of drunk guys.
He gave a series of long, rambling answers
in which he repeated himself and made no sense.
Rudy gave an interview over the weekend,
and I'm going to read it to you, the actual transcript,
like a guy trying to get his keys from the bartender.
"Yes, I had a scotch, but I was not drunk.
There is a deliberate attempt by the left wing
to paint me that way." "I'm not a drunk.
I don't think I've ever been publicly drunk in my life.
The last time I was -- I was probably in college."
"I like to drink Scotch and have cigars.
That's where it probably comes from.
I drink moderate amounts of Scotch.
I mostly drink Scotch because I like to have it with cigars."
"I didn't have a cigar last night.
And this is a caricature that the left is trying to put on me.
I can't remember the last time that I was drunk."
"Yes, of course I had a Scotch at the beginning of dinner,
Beyond that, I didn't have -- it was watered down."
"Not even sure I drank the whole thing."
"It hurts my reputation for someone to say I'm drunk."
I'm not sure I agree, though.
It's probably better if you were drunk.
At least your behavior would make sense.
If someone told you, "Hey, so, last night,
Dave gets up in karaoke and instead of singing,
he just listed everything he hated about each of us
while Duran Duran played in the background.
Then, he stormed out with his pants down,
and then later, when we left, he was asleep in a bush.
Craziest thing was, didn't have a drink.
Just like that." If you heard that,
you'd say, "Well, I think it's probably
the end of our time hanging out with Dave."
But, sure, that's what's hurting your reputation.
Not the fact you helped incite a riot at the Capitol,
lied about the election, had your law license suspended,
forgot to swing your balls forward
before you sat down for an interview,
accidentally gave a press conference
outside a landscape company,
had hair dye leaking out of the side of your head
like the juice leaking from a Hefty bag,
and got caught shaving at a table in an airport.
Can you imagine being his waiter?
"What can I get for you, sir?"
"Uh, I'll have some tap water and a can of Barbasol."
So, Rudy insists he wasn't drunk,
but he does like to engage in doing English accents.
Giuliani said the idea that he was mocking the Queen
is "an interpretation that's totally unfair.
I used an English accent." "And I have never mocked it.
I just like to use an English -- I imitate Churchill sometimes."
The only thing you have in common
with Churchill is a stiff upper lip,
and that's just early-onset rigor mortis.
So, Rudy thinks he's just like Churchill.
Of course, if you told Rudy to wear a Homburg hat,
he'd probably show up with a Big Mac on his head.
[ Laughter ]
This is the modern GOP -- rambling, incoherent,
and far more outraged about attempts
to stop a deadly virus from spreading
than the toll that the deadly virus has taken,
and that's because Trumpism is still the core
of the modern GOP. Trump led one of the most
disastrous presidencies in history,
and all Republicans have to say about him is...
-[As Queen Elizabeth] "You did a wonderful job."
-This has been "A Closer Look."
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