TODAY, HAPPY 4-20 TO ALL WHO CELEBRATED THIS DAY!
NOT REALLY AS EDGY AS IT USED TO BE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
NOW THAT MARIJUANA IS LEGAL IN CALIFORNIA, YOU KNOW,
SO THIS IS LIKE THE EQUIVALENT OF WHITE WINE DAY.
IT'S ROSEÉ DAY!
THAT'S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.
I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS DAY.
I HOPE WE DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN THE COMMERCIALISM OF 4-20 AND
FORGET THE REAL MEANING OF 4-20.
YOU KNOW?
( LAUGHTER ) REGGIE, HOW TO YOU MARK 4-20 AS
BEING DIFFERENT AND HOW DO YOU CELEBRATE 4-20?
DO YOU NOT GET HIGH?
IS THAT THE ONE DAY OF THE YEAR I DON'T GET HIGH, JUST TO MARK
ALL THE OTHER DAYS THAT I CAN GET HIGH?
>> Reggie: YEAH, I MEAN, THAT'S DEFINITELY AN OPTION.
( LAUGHTER ) I USUALLY JUST THINK OF IT AS A
DAY WHERE I'M, YOU KNOW WHAT?
DOESN'T MATTER WHAT TIME.
JUST GO FOR IT ALL DAY LONG.
>> James: GO FOR IT.
>> Reggie: IF YOU HAVE IT, HEY, I ONLY DO WEED AT NIGHT, DO
IT WHEN YOU FIRST WAKE UP.
YOU KNOW, HAVE A BOWL OF CEREAL AND --
>> James: HAVE A BOWL OF CEREAL AND SMOKE A BOWL.
>> Reggie: SMOKE A BOWL AND WAIT FOR THE EFFECTS TO SAFELY
PASS YOU BY, THEN DRIVE TO WORK.
>> James: YES.
>> Reggie: THEN WHEN YOU'RE AT WORK EAT SEVEN EDIBLES AND WAIT
FOR THAT TO PASS TILL THE NEXT DAY AND DRIVE HOME.
IT'S FUN.
YOU CAN MAKE 4-20 REALLY FUN.
>> James: I LOVE THAT.
I LOVE THAT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO WITH YOU AFTER THE SHOW?
>> Reggie: HUH?
>> James: I'M OINGT EAT SOME WEED.
>> Reggie: JUST LIKE THE BEGINNING.
THAT'S HOW IT ALL STARTED.
>> James: THAT'S HOW -- I DON'T KNOW IF WE'VE SAID THIS ON
THE SHOW BEFORE, BUT THAT'S HOW REGGIE CAME TO BE THE BAND
LEADER ON THE SHOW.
WE SAT IN THE LOBBY OF A HOTEL, WE WERE TALKING ABOUT, YOU KNOW,
REGGIE WAS LIKE WHETHER REGGIE WANTED TO DO IT, DIDN'T WANT TO
DO IT, WHATEVER, AND WE ATE THIS CHOCOLATE WEED.
AND BEN HAD BEEN OFF AT ANOTHER MEETING AND HE CAME BACK AND WE
WERE JUST LIKE THIS -- ( LAUGHTER )
OUR EYES WERE, LIKE -- AND REGGIE WAS LIKE, I'VE GOT TO
HEAD, AND I WAS, LIKE, CAN YOU LEAVE SOME OF THAT CHOCOLATE
HERE?
( LAUGHTER ) I GOT DISTRACTED BY THE STORY
BECAUSE STEVE DECIDED TO TAKE A WALK AROUND THE STUDIO.
DID HE GET HIS STEPS IN?
WHERE IS HE NOW?
STEVE, DO YOU WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER LAP OR ARE YOU GOOD?
>> A COUPLE MORE STEPS.
>> James: FEEL FREE, JUST WHENEVER YOU WANT.
( LAUGHTER ) STROLL AROUND.
BE WHATEVER, EYE LINE OF THE CAMERA, DOESN'T MATTER.
WE'RE ALL RIGHT UP HERE, AREN'T WE, PETE?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
TAKE A MOON WALK THROUGH.
THERE YOU GO.
DID EVERYONE SEE SUSAN'S MOON WALK?
HANG ON.
>> YEAH!
>> Reggie: THE SUSAN WALK.
>> James: STEVE, YOU WANT TO MOON WALK?
IS THIS SOMETHING YOU NEED IN THE SOUND DEPARTMENT?
STEVE, I THINK BECAUSE OF THE VOLUME OF WALKING YOU'VE DONE
TODAY AS PUNISHMENT IT WILL HAVE TO BE A MOON WALK.
>> HERE WE GO.
>> James: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU CAN'T DO IT.
>> YOU CANNOT DO THAT.
>> James: SPEAKING OF 4-20, DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS -- WILLIE
NELSON CALLED ON PRESIDENT BIDEN TO RECOGNIZE TODAY AS A NATIONAL
HOLIDAY.
HE WANTS TO REMOVE THE STIGMA OF SMOKING WEED AND HE'S EVEN GONE
SO FAR TO PROPOSE THAT 4-20 THROUGH TILL HIS BIRTHDAY ON
4-29 BE RECOGNIZED AS THE HIGH HOLIDAYS.
>> Reggie: YES!
>> James: I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT I NEVER EVER
SAW WILLIE NELSON AS ONE OF THOSE BIRTHDAY WEEK GUYS.
( LAUGHTER ) WHICH IS REALLY THE LEAST CHILL
THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
GUYS, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK!
( LAUGHTER ) MONDAY BRUNCH, TUESDAY LUNCH,
WEDNESDAY DINNER, THURSDAY DRINKS, FRIDAY PARTY.
YOU KNOW THIS!
( LAUGHTER ) I THINK WILLIE NELSON IS
STARTING TO HAVE AN INFLUENCE ON THE PRESIDENT.
HERE IS BIDEN JUST TODAY SPEAKING TO THE PRESS.
IN OTHER NEWS, THE STATE DEPARTMENT JUST ANNOUNCED NEW
COVID TRAVEL GUIDELINES.
ALL THE AMERICANS AGAINST TRAVELING TO 80% OF ALL
COUNTRIES.
YEAH.
THAT'S IT.
IT'S OFFICIAL.
MY BULGARIAN HOT GIRL SUMMER IS CANCELED.
( LAUGHTER ) 80% OF COUNTRIES HAVE BEEN
DESIGNATED BY THE STATE DEPARTMENT AS LEVEL FOUR DO NOT
TRAVEL, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS LEVEL FOUR, WILL TRAVEL, WILL NOT BE
INSTAGRAMING ABOUT IT.
( LAUGHTER ) BEING TOLD YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING
IN AMERICA JUST MAKES PEOPLE DO IT.
LIKE HALF OF AMERICANS NOW, WHEN THEY HEARD THIS, THEY'RE GOING
TO BE, LIKE, GOVERNMENT TELLS ME I CAN'T GO LICHTENSTEIN, I'M
GOING TO LICHTENSTEIN.
BRENDA!
GET YOUR BAGS!
GOING TO LICHTENSTEIN!
TELL ME WHAT TO DO, PUT A VACCINE IN MY ARM?
NO THANK YOU, SIR!
SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
HAVING A LOVELY DAY.
ALL BEEN GOOD NEWS TODAY.
DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE FOOTBALL?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?
DO YOU KNOW WE TALKED ABOUT THE FOOTBALL LAST NIGHT?
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: GONE.
CANCELED.
AL 16 TEAMS PULLED OUT.
THEY WERE, LIKE, WE SAW "THE LATE LATE SHOW" AND WE'RE FINS
DOWN.
THAT'S IT.
( APPLAUSE ) MOVING ON, RUSSIA
HAS ANNOUNCED PLANS TO LAUNCH ITS OWN SPACE STATION IN 2025.
THE COUNTRY PLANS TO STEP AWAY FROM THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE
STATION, A SCIENTIFIC COLLABORATION BETWEEN SEVERAL
OTHER COUNTRIES, TO FOCUS ON ITS OWN WORK.
I GUESS RUSSIA JUST NEEDS SOME SPACE.
>> WHOA!
( APPLAUSE ) >> James: RUSSIA ANNOUNCED IT
WILL NO LONGER BE PART OF THE
INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION COMMUNITY.
TO WHICH ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS RESPONDED
" NO, DON'T GO!
PLEASE!
STOP, SUCH FUN TO WORK WITH ."
( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE
NEW SPACE STATION THEY PLAN TO BUILD, BUT SINCE IT'S RUSSIAN, I
CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE SPACE STATION WILL BE FULL OF PULSING
DISCO MUSIC AND YOU WILL BE ALLOWED TO SMOKE INSIDE.
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON INSIDE A RUSSIAN SPACE STATION?
>> EVERYTHING I KNOW IS ON TV,.
>> James: BIG DISCO UNIT IS WHAT I MEAN.
WE GO SPACE, HAVE GOOD PARTY, HAVE GOOD TIME, YEAH?
( LAUGHTER ) >> JAMES: AND THIS WAS
INTERESTING.
SCIENTISTS HAVE IDENTIFIED A PHENOMENON CALLED LOCKDOWN FEET,
WITH COUNTLESS PEOPLE REPORTING PAIN AND INFLAMMATION IN THEIR
ARCHES AND HEELS.
IT'S APPARENTLY FROM PEOPLE STAYING HOME AND SWAPPING
SUPPORTIVE SHOES FOR SLIPPERS.
THIS IS BASICALLY EVERYONE BEING LIKE, I KNOW WE'RE VACCINATED,
BUT I'M STILL NOT GOING BACK TO THE GYM.
FROM NOW ON I'M GOING TO BLAME LOCKDOWN FEET FOR MY
UNDESERVEDLY LOW SCORE ON WIKI FEET.
LOOK AT THAT.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS IS REAL.
IT'S REAL.
I'M A 3.3 OUT OF 5.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S GOOD OR BAD.
IS IT BAD?
>> YEAH.
>> James: HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT WIKI FEET?
>> I'M ON IT.
I HAVE A PAGE AS WELL.
>> James: YOU'RE ON IT DAILY?
RIGHT, NO.
>> James: YOUR FEET ARE ON IT.
YES.
>> James: LET'S FIND OUT HAGAR'S SCORE.
HOLD ON.
>> FOR SURE.
>> James: HANG ON.
HAGAR IS -- HOW DO YOU FIND -- 4.5.
LOOK AT THAT.
( APPLAUSE ) YOU HAD 17 VOTES.
>> WE SHOULD ALL JOIN IT SO WE CAN VOTE FOR EACH OTHER.
>> James: I'M NOT THAT -- ( LAUGHTER )
I THINK I'LL SLEEP TONIGHT.
I'M HAPPY AT 3.3, I AM.
>> I FEEL LIKE HAGAR IS GOING TO GET A KICKBACK FROM WIKI FEET
FOR THAT COMMENT.
OH, WE SHOULD ALL JOIN, IT WILL BE FUN, IT WILL BE GREAT, IT
WILL BE THE NEW THING.
>> James: YEAH.
YOU'RE A MINORITY SHAREHOLDER IN WIKI FEET?
>> I DO HAVE A FETISH, JAMES.
>> James: YOU DO?
IT'S NOT FEET.
>> James: OH, WHAT IS IT?
IT'S JUST US.
NO ONE HERE.
I DO REALLY LIKE NOSES.
>> James: NOSES.
YOU'VE GOT A FETISH ABOUT NOSES.
>> MORE LIKE AN ATTRACTION.
TAT'S A BODY PART I ADORE.
>> James: THE PANDEMIC MUST HAVE BEEN BRUTAL FOR YOU,
ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL.
THE ONE THING YOU'RE REALLY INTO JUST COVERED UP ALL DAY.
JUST NEED TO FREE THE NOSE.
>> JAMES, I'VE GOT BAD NEWS.
YOU HAVE GOT A 3.1 ON WIKI NOSE.
>> James: I THOUGHT I WOULD BE LOWER THAN THAT.
THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT THIS NOSE, BECAUSE IT'S JUST A LITTLE --
>> NO, NO WAY, DUDE!
>> James: JUST A LITTLE STUBBY - THAT'S PERFECT, THOUGH.
IT'S DOING ALL IT NEEDS TO DO.
>> James: I DON'T THINK IT IS.
SOME PEOPLE'S NOSES ARE JUST LIKE, ENOUGH WITH IT, ALREADY.
AND YOURS, IT'S A NOSE, IT'S BREATHING IN AIR, IT'S PUTTING
IT OUT SOMETIMES, IT'S ADORABLE, YOU ARE FINE.
>> James: LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING I WANT TO SWAP IT, AND I'M NOT
GOING TO DO ANY WORK TO IT.
MY POINT IS, I THINK IT'S A BASIC NOSE.
( LAUGHTER ) IT'S A BASIC NOSE.
LIKE IT'S RESCUED BY MY EYES.
YOU KNOW.
WHICH ARE, LET'S BE HONEST, POOLS IN THE OCEAN.
( LAUGHTER ) WHAT'S CRAB SHACK'S NOSE SAYING?
YOUR NOSE IS SLIGHTLY TOO SMALL FOR YOUR FACE.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE.
>> IT IS A SMALL NOSE.
>> James: IS IT A SMALL NOSE OR IS IT BIG CHEEKS?
>> I HAVE AN ENORMOUS FACE.
>> James: YOU DO!
I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE!
PULL THE WHOLE MASK DOWN.
>> MY FACE IS GIANT.
>> James: IT IS!
I HAVE A BIG FACE.
>> James: IT IS!
IT IS!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
I FEEL LIKE I'M LOOKING AT THE MOON!
IT'S NOT A SMALL NOSE.
THE NOSE IS REGULAR SIZE.
IT'S A GINORMOUS FACE!
>> IT'S A NOSE SWIMMING IN A GIANT POOL.
>> HE WAS THE BABY ON THE TELETUBBIES.
>> James: NEVER EVEN NOTICED THAT FACE BEFORE.
>> I'YOU'VE SEEN MY FACE 30 MILLION TIMES.
>> James: YOU HIDE THE FACE WELL.
>> MAYBE IT'S MORE OF THE MASK.
IT'S MORE OF A REVEAL NOW.
>> James: THAT ACTUALLY MIGHT BE RIGHT.
( APPLAUSE )