hey there everybody and welcome to this brief presentation on
optimism versus toxic positivity i'm your host dr donnelly snipes
one of my favorite little memes out there is this one and it basically shows somebody
in the darkness and it says when one door closes another one opens but these hallways are a [ __ ]
so let's talk about that and that that is really the crux of optimism versus toxic positivity let's
start with what is optimism and what is tragic optimism well optimism is the willingness to
have hope it doesn't mean that everything is okay right now it means acknowledging how things are in
the moment without judgment and saying all right it is what it is i know some of y'all hate that
phrase but it is what it is and having hope that things can get better and that's where tragic
optimism comes in optimism comes from a place you know things are going along things are decent
and you are optimistic that things will continue to go well or continue to improve
tragic optimism is when you're coming from a place of distress you acknowledge
your distress and you say this really sucks however i believe that things can get better
if somebody has a heart attack for example you know that's where tragic optimism would come in
they recognize what is without judgment they had this life-altering experience
and they can be optimistic that if they do what the doctor tells them to do and they follow their
treatment plan that things can get better and they can resume a meaningful version of their life
people who are optimistic have curiosity about what could be they feel personally empowered
and strive to improve the next moment even when things are going well they say all right
how can we keep this going how can we keep this feeling going how can we you know move closer
to those goals that i have of a rich and meaningful life people who are optimistic uh view
obstacles as things that they've got to figure out how to handle as opposed to barriers that
keep you from moving obstacles you can go over them sometimes sometimes you go under sometimes
you go around but obstacles are like an obstacle course something you've got to figure out how
to navigate and they do that with curiosity and optimism helps people develop resilience it helps
them recognize that yes there are bad times there are really unfortunate things that happen however
i have survived this i have survived things in the past and i can continue to survive and even thrive
now toxic positivity is a little bit different because toxic positivity encourages people to not
acknowledge the bad to tell people everything is good it's all good even when it isn't
toxic positivity isn't helpful because it robs people including yourself from the right to
feel if you tell somebody who's going through a bad patch that hey you know you've actually
got all this stuff going for you so you know you shouldn't feel bad that's toxic positivity
optimism acknowledges what is without judgment it acknowledges unpleasantness and it has hope
or helps people have hope that things will get better toxic positivity just starts at the
let's just pretend that that bad stuff doesn't exist and go on acting as if
toxic positivity also prevents people from being able to learn how to deal with unpleasant feelings
if you just ignore them kind of put your fingers in your ears and go la la la la
la la la this isn't happening then you don't develop the ability to navigate challenging
thoughts to sit with unpleasant feelings and ride the wave so to speak recognizing that
okay this is unpleasant i don't like sitting through this however things can get better
journaling prompts what are the five best things and the two worst things in your life right now
is that toxic positivity no that is encouraging your brain to acknowledge
that yes there is bad stuff happening right now but also acknowledge there's good stuff and that
helps you with a little bit of balance because our brain is pre-wired to focus on the negative stuff
so sometimes we have to encourage it to look at the bigger picture
but it also acknowledges that there are things that are not going well
regarding the good things what do you hope will happen with them in the future
maybe your relationship with your best friend is going good right now or your job is going well
right now all right what do you hope that's going to continue to look like in the future
what options are available to improve the worst things in your life right now maybe
you're struggling with some autoimmune issues or a relationship problem or you hate your job okay you
know let's acknowledge how you feel about that and what are some of the options you have let's
get curious about what you could do what do you have the power to do to improve the next moment
and finally what is the probability that if you take steps to address
the unfortunate issues right now that you will actually start to feel better
more in-depth resources can be found in the optimism playlist
at all ceus.com slash optimism dash videos