[Hannah Montana transition sound]
I'm in my bathtub. I'm taking a bath. I clean myself sometimes, guys.
Did you know that? *cries out in MacDoesIt* This video was not planned. I was taking a bath, as you can see. A CBD infused bath salt bath,
so I'm feeling great. Double dosage, actually-- double dosage. So I'm feeling on top of the world right now, bitch. You can't stop me.
So I'm taking a bath right? Scrolling through Twitter, getting my life, feeling my oats-can you see my nipple? Can you *see* my nipple??? Wait-
Feeling my oats, then I come across a video by Five Minute Crafts.
And I just have to like talk about it for a second, you know?
Have you ever watched a video on the internet and just thought why?
Well, that's the entirety of Five Minute Crafts, and every single Five Minute Craft video
you always think, 'They can't really out-weird themselves, right?' Well think again because they did it. It's done.
This-- This-here it is.
They teach you how to make an egg bigger than the original size and then even bigger than that, because
that's what people need in life. That's the thing that we've been having problems with.
We just need bigger eggs, and you know what, Five Minute Crafts has solved that world crisis. My tripod was in my living room
yes, I did run through my entire apartment, butt ass naked
I don't give a shit. I paid the bill. Okay, so wineglass. Okay. Wait a minute
I just thought for the people that are new here, a butt ass naked black man in his tub, just living his best life
is probably not the greatest thing. Maybe I should get out. I'm just gon-I'm gonna get out!
I don't even know. [chuckles]
Did you hear how gay that laugh was? [Loud laugh]
I don't even know. This tub changed me. When you get a tub like this can't help yourself but act like Mariah Carey for a quick sec.
♪WE BELONG TOGETHEEEERRRR♪
Okay, so we're out. I'm lying to you bitches. I stayed in the tub for like 20 minutes after I turned off the camera.
But now we're here. Now we're sitting down now
we are doing the shit and we're going to talk about *EGGS*. First we started with putting an egg in a wine glass. 'Cause fuck a normal cup.
You know? Fuck a bowl.
And then you wanna pour in some vinegar.
Then what's even worse is that you wait an entire day.
So for an entire--for 24 hours, you're just gonna have an egg sitting in a wine glass full of vinegar,
so when someone just randomly comes over in your house within the 24 hours
they just think you're making some weird-ass cocktail and you might need to go to the hospital.
Ah- I see you have an egg in a wine glass full of vinegar. Well, yes, sir...
I do too craft.
Nice to see a fellow crafter up in these parts. Wait a day, 24 hours, and suddenly through the magic of cuts and editing,
I don't know what happened in between, but your egg is now looking funny! Yellow egg!
It's yellow and it's see-through and it's bigger than the egg used to be!
[Feminine robot voice] Bigger than before! Bigger than before- Bigger than before- Bigger than before- Bigger than before!-
[Feminine robot voice, overlapping the previous one] UwU UwU UwU UwU...
Wow! Wow!
Wow! That's a great party trick to pull out, you know. At a party, be like, 'Hey wanna see my vinegar eggs?
I like to call vi-negro. [Sarcastic laugh]
Don't repeat that joke if you're not black, please don't get in trouble. [UWU] Do you think you're done? That's it?
You think that's the craft, you can go home and live the rest of your life happily without...
hurting other eggs? You thought wrong bitch, 'cause next we're putting it in a normal cup!
Don't ask why we put it in wine glass in the first fucking place,
but now we're back to a normal cup shut up. Then you're supposed to put in some maple syrup. What kind of maple syrup bitch?
Aunt Jemima? Grade A?
Log Cabin, I don't know bitch. There's man- there's plenty! And then you wait an entire 'nother day. Yes. That's right
This is a two day craft on a site called Five Minute Crafts.
I say electric chair.
[Robotic feminine voice] UwU And guess what happens to the egg?
That's right! It is now covered in maple syrup, still shaped like an egg, who would have known?
Who would've known? And you think we're done? You think the streets have cleared? You think the Red Sea has just been parted? No, bitch.
Now we put it in a different cup, pour some water on the hoe and then put in some dye.
What kind of dye? We don't fucking know!
We don't fucking give a shit. Just put in dye! Not food coloring bitch-DYE! Maybe it is food coloring
but they said DYE bitch. So we're getting dye and the greatest thing about that. Is that you wait another day
Yes! This is a three day craft on Five Minute Crafts.
Now I'm thinking death by firing squad, I don't know. Then suddenly, oh my god, the egg is dyed, bitch!
It's blue! And now it's bigger than before!
(Repeated and overlaping) [Feminine robot voice: Bigger than before!] [UwU]
What an amazing party trick!
In the middle of a party that's gonna last three days.
What a great trick to impress your significant other. Say, 'Hey babe wanna see make this egg bigger?'
Give me three days. And now we're gonna do it. Okay.
I got the shit, I lied to you again guys, I lied to you again.
I did not just sit in the tub and then get out and turn on this camera 20 minutes later.
I sat in the tub, got out, got dressed, went to the grocery store, and then came back
and then turned on the camera.
Guys I'm so fake!!!!
[Hannah Montana transition sound] [Overlapping robotic feminine voice: Bigger than before!]
Okay. We have the egg!! *BOW* The wine glass. *BOW* And we have the vinegar! *BAAA*
And now we just...do the shit. *FLAKA* Wow! *Repetitive FLAKA*
There we go. And the timer's set. And now we wait 24 hours.
*FLAKA, WAKA, FLAKA, FLAKA, WAKA, WAKA, FLAKA, WAKA, FLAKA, FLAKA, WAKA, WAKA, FLAKA, WAKA
OOOOOOHHHHHHHH
[SQQQQUUUUAAAADDDD]
[FLAKA]
I don't know what else to do, okay Imma go. [UWU] DAY TWO, 24 HOURS HAVE PASSED!
I am still alive! Thank god because...
I don't fucking know. Okay whatever.
Nothing happened!
WOOOOOWWWWWW
*Bigger than before!* Oh, wait, actually, it's like weirdly bubbly- wait.
You look dead. Oliver: Yeah.
I don't even wanna like touch, whatever's in that.
Actually, like I don't wanna touch the vinegar, okay wait.
Get a spoon, bitch! Another egg, hoe!
Okay, first of all, it doesn't even look clear. In the video
they show the egg, like, completely, like hollow and like yellow and all that shit. This is still an egg!
WOOOOWWWWW
[Loud laughter]
The egg is bigger! [Than before!]
Fuck it. Fuck it. Now we're gonna get a regular glass.
BITCH, BITCH
[Bigger than before! (Layered)]
It just fucking f loats!!! Bitch, bitch, bitch.
Fuck it, see you guys in a day.
*OwO*
Remember when I told you this was gonna take three days?
I was lying to you again. I've been lying to you guys a lot recently in this video. I don't know
what's up with me. I'm take this moment to apologize. Um........
I was in a dark place. [snickers]
Day three bitch! Okay, this is it! *BOW* This is the maple egg. Looks...
...weird. Smells... weirder.
Taste? Not even gonna try it bitch. You thought! You fucking thought! Not even gonna waste any time this day.
I'm tired. A video's never taken this long to freakin make for me. I'm lying to you again.
I'm lying to you again.
OKAY!
Put the egg in the glass! Wow. Pour some water on that bitch!
WOOOWWW
Dye!
They use blue dye, but I'm using red dye because I hate everybody.
WOOOOWWW
Pour the dye in--WOOWW. Mix the dye--WOOOWW--and that's.....
that's fucking it. Wow. Wow. Wow
Okay I'm done.
'kay.
Day four!!!
Day cuatro out of three. I thought it was gonna be three, but it's four days. It takes four days to make a
Five-Minute craft. Where is Jesus when you need him? So are we ready for the great reveal? Are you ready, Oliver?
Oliver, far way: I'm pooping!
So I'm going to pour the cup into this bowl then reveal the egg that is bigger than before
[Distorted] bIGgeR ThAN BefOrE (x2)
Are you ready for this, [distorted] bIgGEr thAn beFOre [normal] egg bitch? Fuck you.
[Lady Gaga singing Ooh from Bad Romance]
Wow, do you see it? That looks terrifyingly gross. Okay, let's take it out of the cup
Wooooowwwwww!!!
Okay this is actually low-key cool. [short laughter] I might've snapped a little bit. I may have popped off for like two seconds.
But is it [Distorted] bigger than before [clean] bitch???
[Distorted] Is iT BIggEr tHan BeFORe, bitch????
Yes. [Laughs]
Four days for this shit. [Laughs] Making an egg like one centimeter bigger and full of a lot of
undesirable liquids. It's a vinegar maple syrup egg. Yummy!!
[Distorted] Bigger than before!!!!
But wait, you think we're done, bitch? Think, that's where I stopped. Wait a second. Wait a second. Ah boom--wait, fuck, wait
Oh my god, shit. Wait, okay wait wait- do that again do that again wait wait wait wait no.
Boom! [Distorted] Bigger than before!!!!
Stop it!
[Distorted] Bigger than before!!!! [Demonic laughing]
FUCK YOU!!!
You didn't think he came prepared? You didn't think he was thinkin' this through, bitch?
He did all three stages.
And he kept them on LOCK! That make any sense? Take a great look at them. I don't know the fuck to do with them next.
Should I cut them open? [Gasp]
Should I cut them open, bitch? Oh my god. Wait. Oh-oh-oh.
This video is getting better. Everyone loves a good cutting open video. Everyone loves a good cutting open video
I am a king of YouTube. K, here we go.
Ooh Fuck-AAAAAHHHH- OOH!
[Slow motion scream then laugh over Lady Gaga singing ooh, caught in a bad romance]
Okay, it's an egg- wow, this is gross. It's like a bloody condom. Okay, let's do the red one. Ready kids???
Nooooooooo
Ewwww-OHHH
[Slow motion Oooohhh]
[Slow motion scream]
[Distressed Laughter]
It looks like a PLACENTA.
[Distressed Screaming]
Oh no....Oh noooo.....
I'm done. I don't even know. It's dripping down my legs. I want to stop and I want to quit
I'm tired, I'm done. What have you learned today kids?
Bigger than before.
[Distorted] Bigger than before!!!!
Moral of the story- don't do this, don't piss off your parents.
They walk in side like, 'Why are my wine glasses filled with vinegar and an egg?'
My name is Mac, that's Oliver's stinky ass socks.
[While laughing] and don't forget to like, comment, share, and subscribae-BWAH
DISGUSTING!!!!!
[Robotic masculine voice: This is the part where the ending music plays this is the part where the ending music plays... (Repeated)]
[Robotic masculine voice: Bitch. Where the ending music plays]