Translator: Tanya Cushman Reviewer: Peter van de Ven
Hello.
I'm Amy Walker and I'm an actor,
a singer, a writer, a director, a producer,
an entrepreneur,
a TED talk giver, as of now.
And I'm American - did I mention that?
That's right, ladies and gentlemen,
this human experience is brought to you by the Label-Maker 2000.
It dices, it boxes,
it assigns an arbitrary value based on accepted social norms.
(Singing)
Fun fact:
Labeling is an important function of the human brain.
According to "My Stroke of Insight,"
by TED alumna Jill Bolte Taylor,
the right hemisphere of your cerebral cortex
is all about being connected, man:
"Cause I am he, as you are he, as you are me, and we are all the Beatles."
(Laughter)
But the left hemisphere
wants to classify and organize every new piece of information
into neat little pre-approved packages,
little boxes.
According to Dr. Taylor,
when we encounter a new piece of information,
if it's not familiar,
our amygdala goes onto security-alert orange
until we can figure out what it's similar to
that we're already familiar with.
Then we can relax and learn something new.
Now, back when we were a part of nature,
we learned to ask a foreign entity, what does it do?
Is it food or poison?
Let's see. Apple? Food.
Arsenic? Poison.
Twinkie?
(Laughter)
What does it do? or, What do you do?
is still the number one question to ask a foreign entity.
Back when you were either a farmer, a doctor, a merchant,
or a woman ...
(Laughter)
this was something of a bonding experience,
when you had a one-in-four chance
of meeting someone with the same occupation as yourself.
Let's see: "What do you do?"
"Oh, actually, I'm a woman."
(Laughter)
"Oh, me too. Oh, my God. Sister."
(Laughter)
Nowadays, there are a lot more options and people,
so if you want to relax, ever, you have to categorize all of them
before your amygdala can chill
and that security-alert orange can go back to the green setting,
which they tell me they're working on - in the government.
So, we got a lot to do. We better hurry up.
We like to do this in batches.
Let's see: All of them are Irish.
They are black.
They are gay,
and they are beautiful, but we hate them for it.
(Laughter)
He's good people.
The moment you encounter someone new,
your left hemisphere
immediately starts to rate, grade and compare them with yourself.
You can meet a fascinating new person
and focus all your energy on how you're different
and who rates better on the financial scale,
and you'll both walk away feeling diminished,
smaller.
But what if I told you that there's an even faster, happier way
to make the unfamiliar comfortably familiar?
You see, I don't ever ask "What do you do?" on the first date.
No.
I mean, what if they don't have a job?
What if they hate what they do?
What if I don't have time
for the 18 hyphens necessary to explain what they do?
No.
I ask "What are you interested in these days?"
Works every time.
And the beauty is
I don't have to be familiar with what you're interested in;
I'm familiar with the act of being interested.
And the moment your face lights up, man,
I feel you, man. I am there.
I got your back, brother.
Respect and connect.
(Laughter)
I get so fascinated by what you're interested in
that your interest revs up to fascination,
and our mutual good vibes synchronize and amplify.
My brain identifies a part of myself in you,
and I have an opportunity to grow -
to expand my identity to embody a part of yours.
When we identify with each other, we open a doorway to compassion.
And we both walk away feeling satisfied,
gratified,
edified,
identified.
As you watch these speakers today,
I invite you to be fascinated by what they have to say.
Notice any labels, assumptions, or judgments that might pop up
and practice letting them go.
Enjoy the fact that each one of these people loves what they do.
They're here to share that enjoyment with you.
What a gift.
(Applause)