♪♪
-Welcome back to the Trump News Network.
Nothing but facts and some lies.
Everyone's talking about how the Democrats want to impeach me,
and I think it's very unfair. I think it's very unfair.
I think it's very unfair.
Very unfair.
So, now everyone wants to know how I feel, but, really,
my advisor and favorite Halloween decoration
Kellyanne Conway said it -- She said it best.
-He's amused. He thinks it's funny.
He's amused.
-She's right. I'm amused.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm amused. That's how I look when I'm amused.
I'm amused because, with me out of the office,
you'd be left with the world's most diabolical
little saltine cracker, Mike Pence.
And I thought that hilarious.
But he -- Wait a second.
Wait a second.
I'm getting word on my very real earpiece
that we've just received an exclusive video statement
from the whistleblower himself.
Let's roll the clip.
-Hi, everyone. It's me, the whistleblower.
I just wanted to let you all know that I made a huge mistake
when I blew my whistle.
Donald Trump is totally innocent.
He didn't mean to call anyone.
If anything, it was about Don.
So if I could go back,
I'd just erase this whole complaint thing,
because once again, I am innocent -- he is innocent.
He is innocent.
-Wow! There you have it, America.
I guess I'm off the hook after all.
Next, in old kooky man news, Joe Biden was very mean to me
in an interview -- in an interview recently.
Very mean to me. He was very mean to me.
And he was very nasty. [ Laughter ]
He was very nasty and very mean.
He was very mean to me and very nasty.
[ Laughter ]
Very mean. Take a look at this.
-You should be looking at Trump.
Trump's doing this because he knows I'll beat him like a drum.
-Wow. [ Laughter ]
Those are some tough words coming from a tough man,
but let's see how tough he looks
when spaghetti is shooting out of his eyes.
-You should be looking at Trump.
Trump's doing this because he knows I'll beat him like a drum.
-Oh, yeah. You got "pasghetti'd."
[ Air horn blares ]
And, finally, in tech news, the new iOS 13 was just released,
and there are a lot of great features.
Check out these features on this phone.
[ Cellphone rings ] It's kind of unbelievable.
Forgot to turn this off. Stop this bit.
[ Ringing continues ] How do we get out of this bit?
Let's get to the next story, please, please, please.
-Because we are coming to you live from New York City.
I'm Jimmy Fallon, and this is "The Tonight Show"!
Let's go, baby! [ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-Live, from 30 Rockefeller Plaza,
here in New York City, it's "The Tonight Show,"
starring Jimmy Fallon!
And now here's your host, Jimmy Fallon!
-♪ Hey, hey hey hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey hey ♪
-♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪