Hey, Mat Boggs here with Project Everlasting and Cracking the Man Code.
Congratulations.
Welcome back.
This is video number three of the man scan.
Again, this is a powerful strategy for how to identify what your man wants and where
he thinks the relationship is going.
Now, let’s do a quick review.
Step number one is come from love abundance.
Step number two is pre-frame the conversation and invite him to be honest.
Now, in the last video and where we left off, I was telling you a story about a buddy of
mine and girl that he’d been dating for a couple of weeks to a month.
She spent the night.
The next day, he gets up and goes and works out.
She stays back and starts cleanxing the apartment.
When he came back she pre-framed the conversation, right?
Asked him is now is a good time to talk and then invited him to be honest because she
had found a long, back hair in his bed and wanted to know if he was dating other women
since the time they had started dating.
Well, he was honest with her and he said, “Yes, I have been dating other women.”
Now, to give you some insight, this is a great guy.
He’s successful, he’s attractive, he’s funny, he’s charming.
And she really likes this guy and she actually wants the relationship to progress.
But more than she wants that particular relationship to progress, she wants a certain quality of
relationship.
She wants to be in a deep, meaningful, profound, monogamous relationship.
So how she responded to what he said was key in the outcome of that particular conversation,
and that brings us to step number three.
Step number three is to share your vision with him.
Let him know what it is that you want.
Paint him a picture of your vision and then invite him to share his vision with you.
What is it that he really wants in the relationship moving forward, again, making it okay for
him to tell you his truth.
It’s extremely powerful to paint a vision for someone else of the kind of life you’re
creating.
So in this particular scenario, she said, “You know, I’m sorry to hear that you’re
dating other people.
But you know what?
Thank you for telling me.
Thank you for being honest with me.
I really appreciate that.”
Oh my gosh, a world of difference from every other women he’d ever dated who gets mad,
who gets upset.
She ultimately took responsibility.
She said, “You know what?
I realize that I’ve let this relationship progress beyond where I would normally let
it progress without actually identifying the state of the relationship because I really
like you, but you know what?
I want to know what it is that you really want.
What I would love to have is a relationship where we have fun together and we’re joking
and we grow together and we’re helping each other become the best versions of ourselves
that we could be and it’s adventurous and we have great sex together and it is profound,
it is deep and it’s monogamous.
And ultimately, whether it’s with you or not with you, that’s cool.
But that’s what I’m creating in my life.
And if it’s not with you, then that’s okay, I know that I’ll create that with
some other guy.
But what I’m really interested in is what do you want?
You know, best case scenario.
If you could have it any way you wanted, what do you want in your life?”
What a powerful question.
I guarantee you he’s never been asked that question from any other woman.
And that gave him freedom to say, “Hm.
What do I want?”
And you know what his response to her was?
“Let me think about it.”
He hadn’t even fully considered what he wants, and I guarantee you most guys haven’t
really considered what it is that they want.
In fact, most people haven’t.
Most people are living their lives by the default patterns of their behavior, the default
patterns of their old thinking.
So he took off and they said, “Okay, well let’s reconvene in a couple days.
We’ll have a conversation.”
He called her back in a couple days and had been thinking about the vision that she was
painting: the great sex that she described, the adventures, the support, the encouragement
to be the best versions of themselves that they can be.
And that started to sound pretty good to him.
See, they had never had a conversation about whether they were going to be exclusive or
not, so that was just his default pattern.
He was in a pattern of dating.
And he said, “You know what?
That sounds pretty good to me.
I’m willing to explore this if you’re willing to take it slow.
And I will stop dating other people and just invest in you.”
And she said, “Okay.
Let’s do that.”
That was over four months ago.
I just talked to him last night.
They just got back from a weeklong vacation is Northern California where they had a blast.
And I’ve known this guys for years and he hasn’t had a monogamous relationship for
the entire time that I’ve known him and I guarantee you no woman has ever approached
him the way that this woman did.
And here’s what key about this.
It’s that when you tell him, “Look.
Here’s the vision for what I want,” it’s one of the most powerful four-letter words
you can speak is the word want, w-a-n-t, because you’re giving the blueprint for your man
to deliver you happiness, you see?
You’re telling him, “This is what I want.
Can you deliver it?
And you know what?
If you can’t that’s cool because I’m sure someone else will.”
Ding, ding, ding.
Competition, right?
He’s like, “I don’t want anyone else to deliver that to you.”
So it automatically, subconsciously calls a man to the carpet in saying, “Are you
going to step up and be this man for me?”
And the coolest part about that is you give him freedom to be honest and if he’s not
the guy to step up, you’re giving him permission to fall away from your life so that you can
attract the man that you want in your life.
A very, very powerful strategy, the man scan.
Come from love abundance, pre-frame the conversation, ultimately creating an environment so that
you have his attention, his presence, and you give him permission to be honest.
Step number three: Paint the vision for what it is that you want and then give him permission
to be honest in sharing what it is that he really wants.
And I promise you, the relationship will either progress, which is what you want, or you’ll
be clear about where he’s at in the relationship and you can choose to let him fall away from
your life so that you could attract what it is that you like.
Now, if you liked this strategy and you want more great strategies for increasing the love
in your life, I have a fantastic program that will help you out a lot.
I’ve put a link below this video.
Go ahead and click that link, read all about it.
I hope you sign up because I know it’s going to make a huge difference in the trajectory
of the relationships that you create and you’re going to be thanking yourself for checking
it out.
So this is Mat Boggs.
I’ll talk to you soon.