>> This episode of the Modern Rogue
brought to you by Roman.
>> Go to getroman.com/rogue and get free
two day shipping and a free online visit
with an actual doctor!
>> Yeah man, make this time productive, or
should I say reproductive? Eh? Eh?
>> He's still got it.
>> Because we're all cuddling up.
>> He's still got it.
>> Eh?
>> DAVE.
>> DAVE!
>> DAVE.
>> Hanging over there in them weeds over there.
>> Dangerous and very evil.
>> I'll tell you what man, I feel like I wish
I had an atlatl that had Danny McBride on the box.
>> Ot-ot-otloddle
>> Oughtlattle
>> Atlattel
>> Atluddal
>> Addloaudle
>> Atlaughtal
>> Addle-addleelattle
>> I think it's at stop lottle.
>> Alalala.
>> Yes, alalala-oxenfree.
>> Let's kill him.
[beat]
>> We tested the range and we wanted to know
the difference between throwing a sphere
versus using an atlatl, pretty sure I got that right.
[slow tune]
>> 164 feet!
>> Holly cow!
>> That's more than double our hand held distance.
That's good.
>> And we were amazed at how much farther it threw
but everyone in the comments was saying, "That's
not why you have an atlatl is to throw far, you
have it for massive penetrating power.
>> Guess whose going to get our massive
penetrating power, DAVE?
>> That's right! Get ready to be penetrated DAVE.
So we are Thirty feet away. Uh- lets try once
without any sphere tip.
>> Without any sharpy sharp sharp? Me?
You want me to do it?
>> Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give it a try.
>> All right, this is going to be, this is going to
be dicey, but you know, if you're watching this
show and if you've seen an episode before,
you know it's going to be dicey.
>> Remember when we used grocnars revenge,
we got way too close to DAVE. He's got that rubbery skin.
>> Yeah.
>> Oh!
>> Ah, did it get ya?
Oooh!
>> Oooh!
>> What is it, blood?
Oh reset the counter! Reset the counter!
[laughs]
>> Buy hey, we've all got eye protection, even DAVE.
>> [laughs] [claps]
All right test run, atlatl versus dangerous
and very evil manikin, from thirty feet.
Holly cow!
Square in the freaking chest, you also murdered
the tragobetzacat!
>> Yeah, it had it coming sticking it's tongue
out at me like that, I won't take that disrespect.
>> I did not expect this. To get this good this fast.
I guess we have to add an actual dagger tip?
>> I think we do, you're going to touch the
dagger tip, not me.
>> [laughs]
All right dude, these are full on, like, tri
razor bladed broad head arrow tips.
>> Those are intense looking.
>> This happens to use the same thing as like, you
know, actual hunting arrows. Pretty sure it's meant
to kill things. Those are definite razor blades.
I'm gunna-
>> Be careful.
>> Ah, Ah.
All right dude.
>> Is it made?
>> I think it's you, here's our goal
>> Don't hurt anyone
>> Let's make this the shortest ever episode of
The Modern Rogue. Let's just be one of those
channels where you just get it right the first
time and you don't have to worry about nothin.
>> You mean like lock making laywer?
>> Like all of them!
>> Okay hold on, we got to make sure we're all clear.
That's a straight up killer.
>> By the way, if this bounces everybody just run.
>> Scatter. Run like hell.
>> Live fire razor bladed atlatl versus evil manikin
attempt number one, shortest episode ever! Go!
>> Oh.
>> Ah. Oh you punctured the water tank!
>> [groans]
>> Oh my gosh. [laughs]
Shoot it's so far in there.
>> Yeah
>> I don't know if, I'll give it a little tug.
You may want to back up.
>> Yep. Yep. Yep.
>> Ah ha.
>> Oh okay.
>> All right we're good, we're good, all right
careful. Here I want to try.
>> [laughs] Okay, good.
>> See you got the practice turns,
I didn't get any practice.
>> You got this.
>> Okay.
>> Just line up your shot, just like you would think
>> Yeah, yeah
>> Give it- whoop that's fine
>> That's uh- we'll just get it.
>> Everything's fine. All right,
you got this. Make him Pay!
>> [laughs] Take this DAVE.
>> [screams]
I guarantee you, there is no way
that I would be able to throw this thing hard enough
even with the razor blades on there, to
penetrate that and it is all the way in!
[gasps] Look at that! Look at that!
>> [laughs]
>> Oh my god, look how deep it is in there. Oh my god.
>> [laughs]
>> Oh, wow! It went inches deep!
So I guess we have to test whether or not we can
possibly get anywhere near that just by throwing it.
>> Oh yeah! If we can get this kind of penetrating
power just using, without using an atlatl.
>> Something tells me probably not based on
our previous tests.
>> You go for the bare handed one and
I'll try it with the atlatl.
>> All right, all right you take this.
>> Okay.
>> Okay, we'll see what, what my sphere throwing looks like.
I think we did this last time, I'm like
all I know to do is the dart throw.
>> Like a dart, Yeah.
>> Yeah, exactly. All right, still super bladed
still super dangerous, still a big ole dart
with theoretically a lot of momentum just by
throwing it instead. Here we go.
>> Just be your style, go for it, you got this!
>> Oh dang it, dang it! All right.
One more try! One more try!
>> Okay.
>> Take this sucker!
It did stick but now we have a comparison
to see how much deeper it goes.
>> Yeah.
>> With razor blades on there, any kind of direct hit
is going to, is going to make a pokey, but I think
it made it all the way that deep before.
>> You got to think about how much damage
you do by pulling it out.
>> [laughs] Well, I don't think you get to pull it
out. I think that's why in the movies they
break it off.
>> I wonder if that's a real thing?
We should look that up.
>> All right, you got to hit this guy dead center,
we got to kill him once and for all.
>> All right, let's do it.
>> Did you notice that since we added the blade
we've not had to worry about anything bouncing back?
>> Uh, yeah. [laughs] Bonus.
>> So long, DAVE.
Oh my god!
>> [screams] Yes!
>> [laughs] That is a victory!
Dude, how did that feel?
>> It felt pretty good. [laughs]
>> It felt pretty good?
>> I wish you were running away but-
>> Maybe this is the new channel avatar.
>> [laughs]
>> This dude stabbed in the face, Oh my god
he got totally fish hooked! He's ready
to win an Oscar for playing the joker.
>> [laughs] You know how I got these scars?
These two beep on YouTube.
>> Okay, so atlatl penetration power
pretty clearly very strong.
>> Oh yeah I think it's a significantly more
than throwing it by hand.
>> Yeah. Also this is scary.
>> It's frightening.
>> Sorry, DAVE. Not sorry.
>> Not sorry.
Yeah.
>> Jason Murphy I feel like we're living in the
literal definition of irony. We have
a bunch of people who are all trapped
at their homes with their loved ones
and if there is somebody whose over Forty
there's a 52% chance that they have erectile
disfunction and all they want to do is snuggle
up with that special somebody and make some
sweet sweet magic happen, but not only are they
probably one of those 75% of people who don't
seek treatment, but now you can't even seek
treatment because whose going to go to the doctor
right now, in the middle of quarantine?
If only there was a way to get full proformance
with you and your loved one without bothering
to go in person to one of those
beady-eyed doctors. Name one way?
>> Oh Brian, you don't have to go see a doctor.
A doctor will come see you, over the interwebs!
If you go to Roman they can actually have a
free online consultation where you can do it
in complete privacy. You don't have to call
and make an appointment and go it's about
my soft penis, it's about my soft penis.
>> [laughs]
>> You don't have to do that.
>> I've heard this pitch before, they always
get ya on the shipping charges. It's going to
be a billion dollars for shipping.
Name one way for me to avoid shipping charges.
>> Free two day shipping if you go to GETROMAN.COM/ROGUE.
>> So you're saying if I go to GETROMAN.COM/ROGUE
I can get a visit with a real doctor and stuff
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with my lady, real medicine?
>> Oh yes sir, GETROMAN.COM/ROGUE is going to end
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if you know what I'm saying.
>> Hey man, make the next generation of our
viewership possible right now. Head over to
GETROMAN.COM/ROGUE. Thanks.
>> So lately I've been watching a lot of these
aspirational DIY YouTube channels, you know the kind.
Today, we're going to learn a skill by setting
stuff on fire and then blowing it up. I love it.
But what kills me is the amount of sheer confidence
these guys have in the face of sometimes lethal
danger. And it's all because they have a pair of these.
That's right, what are we doing today Bob?
Oh, we're going to learn how to throw axes against
a rubber wall. It's a good thing we brought
safety googles.
[crowd laughs]
This week, kids, we're going to be making weapons
grade plutonium. Don't worry, I have an
eighth of an inch of plastic in front of my face.
So, I think we'll be just fine.