We regularly talk about how to attract others, but rarely if ever explain why people are
attracted to one another.
Understanding this can go a huge way to understand the how to attract others part.
Therefore, if you're interested in why people are attracted to certain individuals, then
in this video we'll aim to answer this question for you, growing your understanding in the
science of attraction.
So, let's look to understand the science behind attraction...
1.
It's In The Brain - The romantic notion is that love is a matter
of the heart, and while it's not totally unrelated, as we no that the idea of a broken heart has
been linked to our biology - ...the truth is much of what we perceive
as love is actually in the brain, where a number of chemicals reactions ofset our physical
and emotional reactions to others - Think of the last time you ran into someone
you find attractive, where you may have stammered, your palms were sweaty and you said something
you later regretted rather than being your usually cool and collected self
- From what we know and understand from research, these responses come from the brain, which
a team at Rutgers, lead by Dr Helen Fisher, breaking it down into three categories, lust,
attraction and attachment
2.
Lust - Lust is driven by the desire for sexual
gratification, with the evolutionary basis for this stemming from our need to reproduce,
common amongst all living creatures - The hypothalamus part of the brain plays
a critical role in this, as it stimulates the production of the sex hormones testosterone
and estrogen from the testes and ovaries - Often testosterone and estrogen are often
stereotyped as being “male” and “female”, but both have their role in both the traditional
genders, men and women, especially in the case of testosterone
- therefore, we feel lust for others due to the hormones produced in the body, which are
influenced by production of the chemical substance pheromone, making others more likely to lust
after you as testosterone levels increase
3.
Attraction - Attraction is similar, but not the same,
as lust, as while the two can be linked together, they aren't dependent on one another and therefore
can occur independently - The reason is that attraction involves the
brain pathways that control “reward” behavior, meaning we're attracted to that which makes
us feel good - This is because we see the release of dopamine,
produced by the hypothalamus in the brain, and is released when we do things that feel
good to us - High levels of dopamine and a related hormone,
norepinephrine, are released during attraction, with the chemicals making us feel giddy, energetic
and excited - Attraction also appears to lead to a reduction
in serotonin, a hormone that’s known to be involved in appetite and mood, something
that studies have shown to been impacted when people are in the early stages of a relationship
4.
Attachment - Lust and attraction brings us to attachment,
which is the predominant factor in long-term relationships and make for what we see most
commonly in people, compared to many other species
- While lust and attraction are pretty much exclusive to romantic entanglements, attachment
is directly interlinked to social relationships in general, with the two primary hormones
here appear to be oxytocin and vasopressin - Oxytocin is often nicknamed “cuddle hormone”
for this reason, as like dopamine, oxytocin is produced by the hypothalamus and released
in large quantities during intimate activities with a loved one
- The one thing to be aware of is attachment isn't linked to romantic relationships, as
we are attached to our immediate family, or end up in the infamous friendzone
5.
Is That All?
- Until now we've delved into the science behind attraction, lust and attachment, but
does all of our behaviour and natural tendency come down to our biology?
- Some will argue yes, others no, and truth be told, science has yet to answer some fundamental
questions about our being and life, never mind how all this relates to defining love
- A lot of it boils down to our individual consciousness, as how one person thinks is
unique to them and how they might feel or react to a given situation is deeply personal
- So with all that's been said in this video, I wanted to help explain some of the science
behind our attraction to others, but it shouldn't mean that romantic ideas we associate with
relationships should be lost, but rather cherished
Did you know of these concepts and if so, does it impact your view on lust, attraction
or attachment?
Let me know in the comments section below.
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