Ian:SHUT UP!
Anthony:Hey guys. So as many of you probably already know, the next Call of Duty game is coming out in the fall.
Ian:Which is why we're excited to tell you guys that the makers of call of duty
Have chosen us to be in the game Anthony: so of course
We're super pumped to do this, and we thought, hey, why not bring you guys along to see how it goes. The first step was
Flying to L.A to meet some of the main people behind the call of duty series
Tom Baker, Jessica Schieffer and Peter Yorke
Peter: So what were you guys thinking as far as your story goes?
Anthony: Uh well, I-I actually didn't know that we got to come up with our own story, so we
Did not know what to say Ian: yeah we just kind of
Thought of a story right there Anthony: I mean we were thinking that we could be in Russia and then the
Terrorists are trying to take over Russia Peter: Uh that's actually the Plot of Modern Warfare 1 though, isn't it ? Ian: Uh oh,
Yeah. (talking about) It totally is
Ian:Well, I know what we're really thinking was that uh,
Maybe we were in America, and we were just hanging out, you know, and then suddenly the Russians
Invade the US Peter: Ok I'm gonna stop you right there because that's actually the Plot of Modern Warfare 2 (knodding heads)
Have you guys ever played the Call of Duty games?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I played--
I've never played any Call of Duty games ever.
I played the multiplayer
But I-- I mean, does anyone play the story stuff?
No, no one plays single-player.
We actually have an idea of our own
- Jessica. - Peter.
In this game, the Russians have completely invaded the U.S.
You two are
part of an elite secret team sent in to destroy
the Russian invaders from the inside out and
The only way to do that is by becoming...
Male hookers.
Yeah, I-- we just don't think that-- that our audience is in to male hookers.
Uh-huh.
Jessica.
Okay, well, our audience is mature
18 to 24 year old males, and what do those men like?
They like hookers.
For what it's worth, I think you guys look really sexy.
Dude, these outfits suck. This thing is super tight.
That's what your mom said.
Really, dude?
All right, guys.
Action.
Hey there, comrade, you want to date?
$20 and we boom boom you long time.
Cut.
Sorry, it's-- it's just really weird.
All right.
Do it again. Okay, good. Now you're running over some Russians.
Great! Now you're running over some really fat Russians.
Hey, there, baby. Do you want-- uh, are we supposed to be picking up men or women?
Does it matter?
Of course it matters.
It could be both.
It cannot be both.
Just come on, times are tough.
Now bounce higher!
Bounce higher!
Hey there, baby. Do you wanna to party?
Sexier.
Hey there, baby.
Do you love to party?
We love you long time.
If you're not turning me on right now, then you're not being sexy enough.
F--king amateurs.
Okay, what does this have to do with Call of Duty?
Cut!
Okay, what's the problem this time?
Um...
This whole thing.
Okay. You know what? How about you stop being such a pussy, man up, and be a good little hooker, okay?
Great.
No.
(hushed voice) I only wanted to do this
because I thought it would be fun.
It is fun, man. We're like-- we're gonna be some of the main heroes.
We're not heroes.
We're f--king male
hookers. All right, look, I thought we were gonna be like SEAL Team 6
or like cybernetic super-soldiers.
But we're f--king male hookers.
Can you please
just give it one more shot?
You know it's always been my dream to be in a game.
All right, fine.
But one more weird thing,
and I'm done, okay?
Thank you.
Good.
All right, let's jump straight to the Ian and Anthony sex scene, and action.
No, f--k this.
Dude, it's not real sex.
I don't care if it's not real sex.
Wow. Thanks for ruining this for me.
(laughing)
(continues laughing)
What? What? It doesn't matter
because none of it's gonna be
in the game anyways.
What?
Yeah.
You know, every year on April 1st, you guys do an April Fools joke, and every year,
you've tricked me, but this year, I decided I was gonna april-fool you two.
How does it feel? How does it feel to be april-fooled?
N-not good.
Not good. Well, I guess payback's a bitch, bitch!
So...
We aren't hookers, then?
What?
Yeah, well, what are we gonna be in the game?
It's a joke!
It's all a big joke. You think for a second I'd actually put you guys in my game?
You're the worst actors ever!
Bye!
I f--king hate April Fool's Day.
To see the full interviews and find out what really went on behind the scenes, click this video.
F--k our lives.
Male genitalia...
flying at your face...
23 hours a day.