Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we are going to learn about 10 things to know
if you want a girlfriend. Now, let’s begin
1. The Right Mindset Many people seek relationships at the
lowest points in their lives. When you’re feeling sad, lonely, or anxious, you may crave the company
of someone special. Finding a girlfriend may sound like the answer to all your problems, but you
should never enter a relationship at rock bottom. Why? Because you’re not seeking a relationship for
the right reasons. Deep down, you may be searching for someone to bear your emotional burden.
Someone who can make your insecurity or loneliness disappear. But a girlfriend isn’t going to
magically cure your low self-esteem. Not only is that a toxic expectation for any relationship,
but it’s also an emotional burden no one should place on their partner.
If you want a girlfriend, take some time to improve yourself. Be the most capable
and confident version of yourself that you can be. If you bring your best self to the table,
you stand a much better chance of finding a happy, healthy, and positive relationship.
2. Romantic Preferences When you’re desperate to find a girlfriend,
your standards distort in unhealthy ways. Instead of choosing someone who aligns with your values,
you date the first person who pays you any attention. When you don’t receive that attention,
you may become bitter and blame the women you meet instead of examining why you’re
struggling to make a strong impression. Here’s the problem many guys face. You say,
“I want to find a girlfriend,” but you have no idea what kind of partner you’re looking for.
The very few guys who ask themselves this question never examine their preferences
beyond physical features. But there is so much more to any relationship than physical
attraction. Think about common interests, communication styles, family backgrounds,
and fundamental values. All of these things impact the health and success of your relationship,
but they also make you more attractive to the kinds of women you would actually date.
Think about it this way. Would you rather attract a little bit of attention
from every woman you meet… or a lot of attention from a very small percentage?
In other words, you don’t need to attract every woman on the planet. If you know what kind of
partner you’re looking for, their preferences should be the only preferences that matter to you.
3. Lifestyle Independence Before you get into a relationship, take a
hard look at the life you live. Many people think they’re ready for a relationship, when the truth
is… they barely have their lives under control. For example, many guys think they can be an
emotional rock for another person, but how often do you reflect on or consider your own emotions?
A healthy relationship requires an array of characteristics that take time,
patience, and hard work to develop. You need to be independent, honest,
and decisive. You need to be empathetic toward the people in your life and be vulnerable in return.
So, before you enter the dating scene, think about the state your life is in. Are you realistically
in a position to take a relationship seriously? It’s important you make these decisions now
because it’s going to get much harder down the road. When other people’s feelings get involved,
every decision becomes that much more complicated. So, make sure you have your life under control.
If you’re stable, independent, and secure in your direction, you may be ready for a
romantic commitment. But if you’re juggling big, life-altering questions, your time may be better
spent working on yourself. 4. Fear of Solitude
Do you want a girlfriend because you’re afraid of being alone? People who are afraid of being
single enters relationships for the wrong reasons. They’re not trying to share their
lives with someone. Instead, they’re trying to fill a void in their lives, often created by a
past relationship. But it’s not your partner’s responsibility to make you feel complete.
If you’re looking for a girlfriend, ask yourself this simple question: am I excited about sharing
my life with someone … or am I just afraid of being alone? If you are afraid of being single,
that’s okay. It’s a natural feeling that everyone experiences at some point in their lives.
But the next step for you is not to find a girlfriend. Instead, you need figure out why
you’re afraid to be alone. Because the sooner you address those fears, the healthier your
future relationships will be. 5. Rebound Relationships
When a relationship ends, many people rush into new relationships — a bad habit called
rebounding. Rebounding is problematic for several reasons. Most of the time,
you’re starting a new relationship before you can grieve the relationship you lost.
In other words, you’re getting rid of one partner and replacing them with another. Not only is it
inconsiderate, but rebounding can do serious damage to your mental health. As painful as it
is to move on after a break-up, it’s important to take time and space for yourself. You need that
freedom to rediscover who you are, realign your priorities, and figure out what you really want.
If you only want a girlfriend to help you get over your ex, a rebound relationship is not a healthy
solution. Dating someone new will not erase the grief you feel or the feelings you’re holding
onto. Instead, it will repress those feelings, making it even more difficult for you to move on.
If you still have feelings for your ex, stay single. Because rebound relationships almost
always end in disaster. 6. Status-Chasing
Many guys want girlfriends, not because they’re interested in sharing their lives,
but because they want to reap the social benefits a relationship brings.
Status-chasing is never a good reason to enter a relationship. In fact, status-chasing
is a common sign of insecurity and emotional immaturity. In other words, you’re allowing other
people’s opinions to dictate your decisions instead of acting on what you really want.
If that’s not enough, status-chasing is also cruel to your partner. If you aren’t emotionally
invested in a relationship, you may end up hurting someone who was looking for a genuine connection.
So, don’t use a girlfriend to propel you higher on the social ladder.
If you aren’t happy with your social status, that’s a problem you need to fix
all on your own. 7. Impulsive Envy
Every guy has had a moment like this. You’re walking down the street, and you see a couple
holding hands or laughing together. Suddenly, you think to yourself, “I really need a girlfriend.”
It’s okay to think this way but keep this in mind. You may envy the couples you see in the world,
but that does not mean you really, truly want a relationship. You may like the idea of being
in a relationship. You may be drawn to the benefits of having a girlfriend. But there’s
a lot more to a relationship than holding hands and making each other laugh. In other words,
suddenly feeling envious of guys with girlfriends doesn’t mean you’re ready for a relationship.
You may be interested in the possibility. You may like the sound of having a girlfriend. But unless
you’ve given it serious thought and found someone you care about, you’re better off staying single.
8. Satisfying Boredom All of the reasons on this list,
this is the worst one. The #1 worst reason to want a girlfriend… is because you’re bored. If
you’re seeking a relationship just to fill time, you are not doing anyone any favors.
Your partner should not be a source of entertainment for you.
Otherwise, you’re not going to give the relationship the respect it deserves.
If you’re bored and looking for a good way to spend your time, you don’t need a girlfriend. You
need a hobby. Instead of seeking a relationship, learn a new skill. Take an online class. Do
something to enhance your life. Because boredom is never a good reason to enter a relationship.
9. Sacrificing Time While some people have too
much time on their hands, other people have too little. If you want a girlfriend, take an honest
look at the way you live your life. How much time do you commit to your career, your hobbies,
and your friends? Are you willing to sacrifice some of that time to build a strong relationship?
If the answer is no, you’re probably not ready to have a girlfriend.
It’s not a matter of maturity or attractiveness. You simply don’t have the space in your life for
another big commitment. But that’s okay. In fact, setting these kinds of personal
boundaries is a sign of emotional maturity. So, before you get anyone’s feelings involved,
make sure you have room in your life for a relationship. If you do, it may be time
to start looking. But if you don’t, you may not want a girlfriend as much as you think.
10. Mutual Respect Even if you ignore
everything on this list, do not ignore this. You should not get a girlfriend unless you
are ready and willing to treat her the right way. You need to respect her as an individual,
value her opinions, and pay attention to her needs. If you’re looking for someone you can
control or manipulate, look elsewhere. In the same vein, if you’re looking for someone to
take care of you and agree with everything you say… a relationship is not the right choice.
Unfortunately, many guys don’t follow this important piece of advice. They jump into toxic
relationships and mistreat the women in their lives. While there are no firm guidelines teaching
you how and how not to treat a woman, you will never go wrong following this simple rule: respect
your girlfriend the same way you respect yourself. If you’re unwilling or unable to give her that
respect, you may not be ready for a relationship. Thank you for watching TopThink,
and be sure to subscribe, because more incredible content is on the way.