- Hey, man, how are you liking this class?
- It's great, actually,
I finally cracked open the textbook last night.
Chapter one was riveting.
- You do know that we're taking the final today, right?
- That's impossible.
If this is the final,
then why haven't I turned in my thesis paper?
- Wait, what thesis paper?
- [Both] Uh-oh.
- I'm trying hard not to beat myself up over that exam.
I mean, I gave it my all.
I even included some hand-drawn emojis
at the end of every essay question.
If that doesn't warm my professor's heart, nothing will.
- Okay, so I've chosen answer B for 15 questions in a row.
Maybe it would be smart for me
to switch it up on this next one.
Or maybe that's just what the man wants me to think.
- Usually my talent for rote memorization
is a major asset when it comes to taking my finals...
but then I took Intro to Improvisational Comedy.
Turns out they weren't kidding.
They don't actually have any scripts.
What was I thinking?
- Worried? (laughs)
I know Wikipedia inside and out.
I'm not worried about some silly exam.
Not only will I ace this test, I will ace this test
and play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with it.
And boom goes the dynamite.
- I am so not ready for this test.
When I'm under pressure, my brain just turns to mush.
I'll be lucky if I can even
spell my last name right on this test.
I'm not kidding.
My last name is Scandinavian or something.
I can barely pronounce it correctly.
Thanks a lot, Dad.
- Dr. Thompson, thanks again
for allowing me to take a makeup test.
What are the odds that I'd have to attend
yet another funeral,
this time for my nana's roommate's
second cousin thrice removed?
- [Professor] I thought you had said
it was your great uncle.
- Oh right, my uncle.
That guy was great.
I can't believe he's gone.
- Forget late night study sessions at the library.
The key to mastering any material
is a cold shower on the morning of exam day.
Once you trigger your body's fight or flight response,
that three-hour exam won't stand a chance.
In fact, I bet you I'll be done with it in 20 minutes tops.
- I hate exam day.
Why should I memorize all this useless information?
Why can't we study stuff with real-world consequences?
I mean, seriously.
Finance? Math? Engineering?
How is any of that gonna help me become
the number one DJ in all of Tallahassee?
- Here's my exam.
I took the liberty of correcting
grammar and punctuation errors,
as well as inaccuracies
in some of the multiple choice answers
which technically made them incorrect.
You're welcome.
- The only thing getting me through these exams
are fantasies of my future successes.
All morning I've been visualizing
my inevitable Nobel Peace Prize.
I've even been writing out my acceptance speech.
Do you think it's tacky to thank Oprah?
I mean, she could be President Winfrey by that point.
Or would we just call her President Oprah?
- A multiple choice test requires
no actual knowledge of the subject matter,
but only a knowledge of how multiple choice tests work.
For example, the longest answer
is most likely the correct one.
So why study for five different exams
when I can just learn one system to exploit for all of them?
- Chances are pretty good I'm gonna bomb this Biology final,
so I'm hoping I can get creative
and turn in some poetry for extra credit.
Tell me, does Dr. Thompson seem like a haiku guy to you,
or maybe he'd prefer a good limerick?
There once was a doctor named Thompson.
- Of course I'm ready for this business test.
I was born ready.
No, seriously, I was.
I was negotiating down my daycare costs before I could walk.
- Can you believe that all my professors
have an exam scheduled for the last possible day
before we go on holiday break?
What they're doing is inhumane.
Seriously, it's gotta be a human rights violation,
and I'm low key tempted to pursue legal action.
How dare they infringe upon our rights
to go home and do nothing?
- I've got a brand new design on a lot of different items,
as well as a special holiday design.
Check out the links below the video.
You could be repping your favorite YouTube channel,
which is this one.
(funky music)