ari do you know what today is it's
one week past your birthday
yeah i was planning on posting this on
ari's actual birthday but the animation
i was working on ended up being done
that weekend so i posted that instead
and don't give me that look i'm gonna
make it up to him by throwing him the
best birthday celebration he's
ever had in his life literally
because he has nothing else to compare
it to he turned one
i can't believe ari's already a year old
he's growing up so fast
seems like just yesterday he was still
just a baby
sorry do you remember those days do you
know what birds look like when they're
not weaned yet
like when they don't have their feathers
spoiler helpless bags of flesh and a
beak
but they get cute birds have the best
puberty nothing else in the world can go
from like
a one to a solid 12 in a matter of
months do you want to see ari's baby
pictures
oh look at you i just realized i'm being
such a parent and showing baby pictures
to all your friends and making you
embarrassed
but how can i not so what i wanted to do
was bake arya cake
but birds didn't really have dairy so i
tried to google if there were bird cakes
and all i found were these seed things
so that's what we're doing i guess
okay so there's two that i want to try
out and uh i'll start with
this first one it kind of looks like a
cake
i mean i don't know it uses yarn but i
don't have yarn so we're not doing that
there's also this like thing at the top
that says
motherhood is an amazing journey
something some get it now
and i read it as motherhood get it now
and thanks but i'm good for now okay so
it says the supplies is
dale bread nothing but the best ferrari
peanut butter
and bird seed and i don't have bird seed
so i'm just going to use these like seed
balls that he likes and just like crush
them into their original form it also
says that you need a heart-shaped cookie
cutter but
i looked and we don't have a
heart-shaped cookie cutter all i found
was this like
santa i think it's supposed to be so
we're doing
birthday santa
does that work oh that didn't work maybe
if i just okay
you can just rip it off pro tip life tip
and then there's your
there's your your birthday santa i
freaking love peanut butter all right so
that looks good
i think as good as it's gonna get so now
we're gonna
crush up the bird seed
i don't know if this is gonna work but
this is made for
potatoes so it must work with seeds
oh that was so efficient holy crap
look how good that is i surprised myself
when you sprinkle on that
magic and there you go
perfect that's exactly what i was going
for
if someone brought that to me on my
birthday i'd be like
how do you know this is exactly what i
wanted i wanted to try this
no-bake cookie recipe it says as well it
says it's for squirrels
and birds i don't have a squirrel but if
you do
then keep watching i guess okay so for
this one it says you need more peanut
butter
rolled oats some walnuts and i
noticed that they had a missed
opportunity
to call them wall nuggets but whatever
and
it says yellow cornmeal now i didn't
have any of this in my pantry
so i had to go out and buy this huge
thing
of cornmeal this is the smallest
container i could find
it's like this huge it's a it's a one
pound thing a corn meal and i'm never
gonna probably ever use it again there's
recipes on the back
and it says cornmeal mush that is
one attractive food name if i do say so
myself
all right two tablespoons of peanut
butter
[Music]
there's got to be a more efficient way
of doing this
if there is one i don't know it two
tablespoons of
oats one two and
add the wall nuggets it says to make
sure they're really like
small so i'll have to crunch them look
at this huge
knife did you know that walnuts are one
of the
most healthy nuts you can have they're
high in
omega-3s and manganese
and i think it's copper as well they're
good at treating
diabetes and cancer so if anyone says
jaden do you have any life tips
eat some walnuts it'll save your life
or at least enhance the quality of it
the walnuts are so great i should be
thanking me
nutrition is important kids two
tablespoons
of walnuts i bought all this cornmeal
i only need a tablespoon stirring this
mixture around
it's kind of clumpy did anyone watch
blue's clues as a kid and then like
the salt and pepper guys would be like
mix and mix a mix up that's what i feel
like right now
oh shoot it said to microwave the peanut
butter i wonder if it's too late for
that now
you know what i'll take my chance
that really didn't do much wasted 20
seconds of my time
and then it says just scoop them into
scoop them into little balls
it feels like sand what if i just gave
it to ari like this
there you go buddy happy birthday it's
really hard to like squish them into
what if i i made it into cubes be
rebellious like that
you thought i was going to follow the
recipe nope
that's all i'm doing for now i want to
arrange it all pretty like
kind of looks like a satanic ritual
happy birthday
to you
do you like it
leave us alone we're having a birthday
party sparks relics or whatever it was
come on
try it i spent all this time
you know this is all kind of like just
normal edible food so i'm kind of
curious
if it's actually good i mean it's just
peanut butter and oats
it's what you would expect
i forgot the bread was a day old
honestly it's not bad
you're being a brat you are gonna say
jane you ate bird food it's seeds and
peanut butter and bread
come on you know ari's a simple bird he
doesn't need all this
fancy seed stuff to have a good birthday
treat what makes him happy
is fruit i cut up some fruit and i know
he'll like
this instead look he's already so
excited he's like oh my god fruit here's
an apple
yeah that's much better isn't it and
then strawberries
he likes to just eat the seeds off the
oh a bad example i was gonna
say he likes to just like pick the seeds
off the top first
but just gotta make a liar out of me i
always just give it to him in cubes but
i kind of want to know what he does if i
just give him the whole apple
well ari eats that i also got a dragon
fruit
i've never had dragon fruit but it looks
beautiful
now i've also seen that the flavors like
underwhelming
and kind of like not that good but i'm
gonna be the judge of that
i don't know how to cut it so i think
i'm just gonna
slice right through it
look at that that's so pretty beautiful
i actually think ari would like this a
lot because it's got like seeds in it
and he loves seeds
so i'm going to let him eat it first
because it's his birthday
but he went around the edge want to try
some
oh he's a bit scared he's like the frick
is that jaden
last chance it's got seeds i think you'd
like it just give it a shot
so it's okay the little seeds kind of
taste
they remind me of sesame seeds which is
it's okay it's like sesame with a little
bit of sweetness
it's okay it's okay i wouldn't buy it
again and it
definitely wasn't worth six dollars
might i add blackberries are his
favorite but i hate giving them to him
because what he does
is he rips them up and flings all the
juice and seeds
all over the place look at this wall
are you happy with yourself mister
actually i'll let you in on a little
secret
i don't know ari's gender okay so here's
the thing all right
for birds well at least for green cheek
conyers which is what ari is the only
way you can really tell if they're a boy
or a girl
is to get a dna test there's literally
no other difference
unless it's too late and you've got a
bunch of eggs all over the place and a
test costs
25 bucks so you know what ari doesn't
need some
tests to tell him her what
they are whatever label it wants to give
itself i will love her no matter what
as bill nye says gender is a spectrum
it's 2017 we're a progressive era you
know that meme where it's like
i identify as an attack helicopter ari
can literally be that if he wants
i see people asking me all the time wait
is arya boy
what sorry's gender first of all hasn't
tumblr taught you that gender is
irrelevant
and second all of them we don't assume
here
so jaden cincare's all grown up have you
taught him any tricks
uh yeah of course go potty
good bird ari doesn't have any friends
except me so i can't throw him a
birthday party but he loves taking baths
so we're gonna throw him a birthday
shower sounds lame
but it's it's not okay have you ever
seen a bird take a bath
[Music]
did you enjoy that
you look like a drowned rat yay
i would say that's a successful bath you
know what ari also likes to do
push everything they can off tables and
counters
look
[Music]
do
[Music]
there's water in there
i gotta clean this up
oh look it i hope you had a good
birthday dude you're officially one year
old now
people always google what rights you get
when you turn like 18 or 21.
well i don't know what to tell you buddy
if you were a human you'd be
standing up on your own here's to
another year
jaden i thought ari was a doggo here's
the thing
we don't assume species either just let
re be
re that's all that matters