You know what? tWitch, I usually chat with you for a little bit.
But I can't today.
Because my guest is waiting.
I didn't even realize it.
OK, let's do it.
She's sitting right there somewhere waiting for me.
Here she is.
My first guest is one of the sweetest people
I know, one of the most fun guests we
have had over the years.
Look at her.
Our next guest has become one of our favorites around here.
Please welcome Ellie Kemper.
I got to go to the Golden Globes this year.
There's always a red carpet where you get your photo taken.
So I get out on there, all the cameras go down.
It's uniquely embarrassing to be standing for a photo
that nobody wants.
Look, everybody.
That's our guest, DJ over there.
Welcome to Super Bowl.
Thank you for having me, Andy.
Hey.
No, no.
Andy.
Do you think when the players get booed,
they understand it's just because they
prefer the other team and it's not personal?
Yeah.
They know.
I don't care what you say.
A boo is a boo.
It hurts.
All you have to do is lift it an inch and down an inch.
OK.
You're not resisting.
You have to add some resistance.
I'm resistant to the whole thing.
I know.
Please welcome Ellie Kemper.
Hi, Ellie.
Hi, Ellen.
How are you?
I'm fantastic.
You seem to be in a laundry room.
I'm in my laundry room.
I'm in New York, Ellen.
It is a big night out for mom.
That's me.
This is really the only place I can get away these days.
So I'm really excited to have a girl's night out.
This is seltzer.
Wow.
And you're all dressed up.
So it is.
It's a night out for you.
Ellen, it's a huge night out.
I've put on press on nails, which I haven't gotten
my nails done since COVID.
And I only put on press on nails for the first time today.
Why have I not been doing this whole time?
They're amazing.
I think I put my thumb on my index finger.
Yeah.
It does look a little thick for that finger.
Yeah.
Who cares?
You're in a laundry room and you're having fun.
Whoo, your partying.
Yeah.
So Ellie, do you know this is the 20th time you've
been on our show?
20 times.
Thank you.
I'm so honored to have been on your show 20 times, Ellen.
I am your biggest fan and I can't thank
you enough for having me back.
Well, we're your fans.
Because you're so much fun.
That's why you've been here 20 times.
I have favorite moments.
But what are some of your favorite moments?
OK, probably top one, the first, my favorite moment
was the stripper you got, the firefighter
who gave me a lap dance.
Yes.
Go sue me.
Mama likes a lap dance.
I think it was the first lap dance
I'd ever gotten and only since.
I'm watching it, I'm getting excited all over again.
Oh my gosh, he was good.
Thank you for that.
I also want to shout out Steve Spangler, your friend, who I
got to do an amazing demo with.
He's a scientist.
Yeah.
He's our science guy.
He's amazing.
And look at that.
I kept being assured by your producers like, no, no, no.
Everything will be safe.
You won't get exploded.
And I wasn't sure if I would not get exploded.
But I didn't.
And I'm here to tell the tale.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Yeah, you didn't get exploded.
Not yet.
No, not yet.
No, there's still time.
You went to the Super Bowl with Andy.
And that was fun.
That was phenomenal.
I think that was two years ago.
I got to go with the gorgeous Andy Lassner.
And I will say, there he is now.
Hi, Andy.
We had a really wonderful time together.
I do want to say, we did a news segment while we were there,
a local news segment.
I don't know if Andy was nervous or what was going on.
But he kept interrupting me.
I think he was trying to play it cool by sort
of reclining on the couch.
But he talked over me.
OK, Andy?
Yeah.
But anyway, but it was fun.
One of my husband's favorite moments from that,
and he should be flattered, is that there was a little news
article.
And it captioned Andy as my fiance.
Ah.
There it is.
Right.
Lucky Michael.
Andy, that's a shame, Andy.
They didn't recognize you.
And Ellie, the reason he was talking over you
is because he wasn't listening at the fact
that you were talking.
He's in his own head.
It's like being with a 10-year-old who
is just all of a sudden has a thought and says it
no matter who's talking.
It's charming.
He is charming.
He's got a wonderful wife who is--
God bless her.
Yeah.
Anyway, so you have--
you didn't have any kids when we met.
That's how long this has been.
And now you two kids.
How old are they?
And now my oldest is--
I have two sons, a four-year-old named James,
and a 1 and 1/2 year old named Matthew.
And we've been all hunkered down together for a while.
It's very cute.
Matthew has started talking.
He jumps straight to a phrase, not even his first word.
He says no thanks all the time.
It's like I feel like I should get a medal because I've
raised him to be so polite.
He says, no thanks.
Isn't that cute?
And he's incredibly strong.
He has like--
I've never-- I of course basically
have to wrestle him to change his diaper.
And it's unbelievable.
My husband has a similar strength.
He never works out.
My husband never works out.
But he's incredibly strong.
And I think Matthew has inherited
that sort of super strength.
And my oldest James is--
I'm very happy by the way.
I'm lowering my voice so they don't hear me
that they probably won't remember too
much of this whole pandemic.
But I will tell you, I get a little sad at night
because James will say to me he's like, mom,
why don't I brush my teeth?
You don't have to help me.
I know you don't have a lot of patience left.
How many times have I said to him, James,
I don't have patience?
I don't have patience at the end of the night.
That's why I'm out at the club.
Wow.
That's hilarious.
Well, it's hilarious and a little sad.
But I tell James that I start the day with bucket
full of patience and energy.
And by the end of the day, the bucket is running low.
And it is.
So anyway--
Yeah, I get it.
But the fact that he knows that, and he's
going to help you out by brushing his own teeth,
that's a kind of child I would want.
So how is it there now?
Is it a lot of snow still?
What's happening?
There was a lot of snow this winter.
And Ellen, I'm sort of a bully in the snow.
I've always been a bully.
When we were kids, I would always
force my younger sister to stay out in the snow
until she couldn't stand it.
I'm like, we're going to enjoy the snow storm.
It comes so rarely.
You can earn your hot chocolate.
You will earn your hot chocolate.
And so I'm kind of unfortunately doing that to my kids here.
I went out, James likes the snow fine.
But I would make them stay out until dark.
And I took a video of myself.
There we are.
Look how happy I am.
Look how mad he is.
That's me sledding alone because he had had enough.
I'm a 40-year-old woman alone sledding down a hill in Central
Park because I love the snow.
And I think you have a very sad picture of James.
I'm not sure.
I think you have it.
Look how far away he is from me.
He just wants to go home.
Wow.
That's--
[INAUDIBLE] Mama doesn't have a lot of patience.
Well, but you're having fun today, aren't you?
There you are in the laundry room.
All right.
They're going to come after me, Ellen.
OK.
We're back with Ellie Kemper.
OK, with all this down time, what
have you and your husband been doing?
It's a daytime show.
Yeah.
OK.
Don't worry.
It's daytime television.
You know what we've been doing?
We're very lucky.
We get to watch TV together at night.
That's a nice treat we have to look forward to.
We've been watching a lot of The Crown,
which I did cannot start watching until this year.
And it's phenomenal.
And we love it.
And something that makes us laugh a lot is we do accents.
We do the accents of the characters
from The Crown to each other as we're doing chores.
So the more mundane the chore, the better.
And I should mention here I'm terrible at accents.
And Michael isn't much better.
But it makes us laugh.
I usually do Queen Elizabeth and he's Prince Charles
if you want to know.
And like I said, it's always about chores.
So it's like, Michael, you can't put that cup on the top rack.
That's my bad.
Should I get the part?
It's better than mine.
It's not good.
Well, no.
No, it's not good.
But it's not bad.
Michael actually-- so do you watch The Crown, Ellen?
Of course.
I've watched all of it.
It's the best.
And Prince Charles, I don't know if it's the actor's choice,
or if Prince Charles spoke this way, but he kind of--
he has a way-- he sort of sounds, like, a little fat.
Yes.
That's very good.
Thank you.
Yes.
It's always about something really, again, sort
of low stakes I feel.
So Michael will be like, but if I don't, I
have to put the bowl in the top rack, or it won't get clean.
Sorry, now it's French.
OK, yeah.
You kind of veered off into another language there.
Yeah.
I got too confident.
Yeah.
Well, the longer the sentence is,
the harder it is to stay there.
Have you ever had to do an audition with an accent before?
I auditioned for Saturday Night Live years
ago, obviously did not get the part.
But you have to do celebrity impressions.
And I can't do those either.
I am ready to work.
Hire me.
I can't do accents or celebrity impressions.
But anyway, I got away with it sort of because my face,
I kind of sort of in some lights look like Renee Zellweger.
So I just for my celebrity, I just did her.
But I just kept scrunching up my face and saying,
do you smell that?
Does that look like her?
Do you smell that?
Does that look like her?
[INAUDIBLE]
Wait, is that all you did for the impression, just--
Yes.
And that was the entire audition?
Do you smell that?
I did other characters that I made up.
But that was my celebrity impression, Ellen.
I don't know why they didn't hire me.
Well, is it just because of the face you're saying,
do you smell that?
Because I don't--
It's just because of the face.
I don't think she has ever said that.
No, but you think the face looks like you'd say that.
Uh-oh.
Yeah.
That's what I was doing.
Yes, exactly.
I got it.
I would have hired you.
Thank you, Ellen.
So the quarantine started.
You were filming.
Now wait, how far along did you get?
You're filming the reboot.
This is exciting by the way.
You're filming the reboot of Home Alone.
And so where are you with that?
Did you finish?
Are you in the middle of it?
We have finished.
We were in the middle.
We were about halfway through filming it when
the lockdown started in March.
And we were so lucky we got to go back in September.
And we finished the movie, everyone
was so cooperative, and disciplined, and safe,
and responsible, and it was great.
And we got through it without a hitch.
Crossing into the Canadian-- crossing the Canadian border
filled me with stress that I had not felt for a long time.
I'm very nervous around authority.
And I always feel like I've done something wrong.
And I had all my paperwork, I had my passports,
we were cleared to go.
We were fine.
We weren't doing anything illegal.
And Canadians I should mention are the nicest people
in the world.
And they were so polite and asking me like,
how long do you expect to work here.
And I'm sweating through my mask.
I'm like, shaking.
I feel like I'm going to faint.
I'm like, until the job is done.
I get so immediately--
I feel so guilty immediately.
They're telling me where to get the best maple syrup.
I'm like, but I didn't kill her.
Stupid.
I got in.
You got in.
You're going to get arrested one day for something
just because you look guilty.
I know.
And I do nothing--
Can you tell us anything about the reboot or no?
I don't know that I can.
Someone is home alone.
And it's very cold.
That's big.
All right.
That's breaking news.
Yeah, watch out.
Someone is home, they're alone, and it's called.
And it's Christmas time.
Oh, and it's Christmas time.
All right.
See?
Even if there hadn't been one before, if this
wasn't a sequel, I'd be, what's that movie?
I got to see it.
Thank you.
I've got to sell these tickets.
Yeah.
Man, you sold it.
All right, we're going to play a game when we come back.
We'll be back.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared, or saying
embarrassing things, like ball peen hammer, and also
some videos of Ellen and other celebrities if you're
into that sort of thing.
Ah.
[BLEEP] God [BLEEP].