- Never fight for his attention
and you will always have it.
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Hello, my name is Greta Bereisaite.
I'm dating and relationship coach for women.
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And just before I share with you
eight ways how not fighting for his attention
will mean that he will give you more attention,
don't forget to take my free self awareness test
to find out are you a woman of high value or low value,
which I will drop down in the video description box below.
And as always,
if you would like any of my merch,
Chase Goals Not Drama,
you can get this in my YouTube store.
The Tip Number One is don't assume the worst
in the situation.
Us assuming the worst,
assuming when negative will make you get upset,
will make you confront him,
and therefore it will show your insecurities
and lack of self-worth.
Let me give you an example.
So, one of my client's boyfriend
went on a holiday and he came back after two weeks,
and when he saw her, he didn't really show any excitement,
and she said to me that she's worried
that he doesn't have feelings for her.
And I said, well, let's look at the whole relationship.
Through the whole relationship,
we can see that he's a guy who does a lot of hot and cold,
who plays a lot of games,
and I said to her, you know what?
Don't panic of his lack of excitement.
It could be that it's a game
or it could be maybe he did not miss you that much,
but the key is you can't really do much apart from, like,
just observe the behavior and continue with your life.
You can't really complain to a guy
you are not excited when you see me.
And a lot of times,
it can also be a game.
On top of that, I did say to her, you know,
if it was me and the guy sees me
and he doesn't show me a lot of excitement,
I would assume either he's in a bad mood,
is having a bad day, or something else to do with him.
My first thoughts would not be negative
and I would not take it personally straight away.
Oh, maybe he doesn't like me anymore.
Because when you think like that,
it's because due to your own insecurities
and your own lack of self-worth,
but when you have a lot of self-worth
and you're secure and confident,
the first thought is not usually a personal one.
It's usually the one to do with the outside influence.
All right?
Anyway, a long story short,
what happened next time he saw my client again,
and he said to her, "Oh, like,
I'm so excited to see you."
And that word, excitement, showed us his cards.
Gave it away that all he was doing
was playing hot and cold in the first place with my client,
and her not reacting to it was the right thing to do.
So, anyway, ladies, if you would like to know
the games men play on women,
I also have a games video for sale
which I will drop down in the video description box below.
Number Two, never fight for his attention,
especially if he's trying to plant a seed
in your mind by creating competition.
So, another client of mine shared something very interesting
and we just knew straight away
that it's a game because the guy
that she's dating at this time,
being he is a big game player,
literally every step he takes is a strategy.
It's a game.
And she spotted it like that.
So, this is what he's doing.
He's texting to her, like, "Good morning," and all of that.
Then he actually stays in touch with her through the day
but he doesn't send her any messages after 6:00 p.m.,
and because they are just dating,
what he's doing, he is playing with her mind
and he's planting an insecurity that perhaps
he's not texting her any messages
after 6:00 p.m. because he's going on dates, right?
So that the girl would start to compete
and would start to pursue and message him more.
Of course, if you're in this position,
my advice is just be secure and confident
and stay as you are.
Let him text you, you respond.
Ignore the whole him not texting after 6:00 p.m.
and don't let your mind go wild.
And even if your mind does go wild,
at the end of the day, if he's really into you,
he will choose you, and not fighting for his attention,
this is exactly what will make you a challenge
and it will make you stand out from the rest.
And how to be a challenge for a man?
Check out my video right here.
Number Three how not fighting for his attention
you will always have it
is a lot of girls,
when we don't get enough attention from the guy,
because we as girls, we love attention.
Everybody knows how much women love attention, right?
And so if you don't get enough
of attention from your guy,
let's say, he's not in touch with you
as much during the week or he doesn't call you as much,
and you're thinking to communicate with him
and explain to him your needs by being open to him.
Let me tell you that this not going to work.
For a man to be in touch with you more,
he needs to want to be in touch with you more.
He's not in touch with you that much,
it's because he doesn't want to be
in touch with you that much,
or maybe because he doesn't need
to be in touch with you that much.
And if you gonna be pushing him to give you more attention
by being open with him,
I have good news and I have bad news.
Bad news are that you will come across needy
and he might start to pull away from you
or he might start to complain
that you're putting too much pressure
in the relationship or giving you excuses.
The good news are
that he might actually step it up for a week or two
and will start to give you more attention.
But after a while,
things will fall back to how they used to be.
So, at the end of the day, this does not work.
And ladies who are in this type of situation,
I usually tend to say, you know, like,
if a guy's really independent
and he is not as needy as you are,
he may just not be a match for you.
You know, like when you're a person who likes
and needs a lot of attention, a lot of affection,
you need a guy who similar to this also, you know?
Because if you're a needy girl
and you're dating a very, very independent guy,
you're just not going to be happy.
Same as he's not going to be happy
because he'll feel too pressured
and you'll feel like you're not getting enough.
Instead of complaining of not getting enough of attention,
choose the right match for you,
because if he is not a needy guy,
he's just not going to give you more
as he feels giving to you freely.
Number Four is don't get jealous about him
spending time with his family members,
with his friends, or doing boyish things.
It's actually very good
for the relationship for a number of reasons.
First of all, if he is prioritizing his friends
at this best time being or his family members
or just doing boyish things
is because he feels the need for it.
He needs to do what he has to do in order to be happy.
Same as you need to do what you have to do
in order to be happy.
So, if you will start to complain or nag
that he doesn't spend enough of time with you,
and instead of being with his guy friends,
now he will listen to you
and will actually start to spend time with you,
he's not gonna be the best version of himself
because his needs will not be fulfilled.
And when he's gonna be spending time
with you while not being the best version of himself,
you're just not gonna enjoy the time with him.
Therefore, if he wants to be
with his family or friends or do something else by himself,
encourage him to do that and be happy for him.
Ladies, I have a very good video about having a distance
with a guy and how it benefits your relationship
that you can check out
just by following the link right here.
Number Five.
So, this is more for dating.
So, I would say maybe for more younger girls,
maybe early twenties or early thirties.
So, guys who didn't have you will always come your way.
You know, so, for example, if you're at uni,
or maybe you're working in a place
and it's full of guys
and it's very social environment, right?
And let's say have an eye on a guy,
and it seems like he has an eye on you, too,
but he's not really approaching you.
He's approaching someone else.
And then someone else and someone else, right?
Especially when guys are young, like early twenties,
they just want to play the field.
The best thing that you can do
in this situation:
be nice and friendly,
have this open vibe, but don't compete with anyone.
All right?
Your turn will come.
Believe when in you're in a group, the one that nobody had,
and if it's a new group,
like, the boys will play the field on all the girls
in the first couple of months,
then after a few months,
everybody's going to be on your case
because they didn't have you.
This is exactly when you can be charming,
happy, and high value.
And if you play your cards wisely,
he'll stay there and he's not gonna go anywhere.
So, the key is never compete with other women for guys.
Stay patient, stay happy, and your turn will come.
Number Six.
It is really important, ladies,
when you are going out, you know, enjoy yourself.
Be content that you are alive.
Be happy.
Don't go out to places with the intention to meet a man.
If you going to, let's see, posh places,
or like beautiful restaurants,
go there to enjoy the food
with a fun friend and then enjoy the company.
Focus on a friend, enjoy the meal, enjoy the atmosphere,
stay happy and content.
If someone will be interested in you,
they will make their way and will approach you.
Ladies, if the guys who you're not really into
are approaching you and making you laugh,
enjoy their company, have a laugh.
Don't reject these guys who can add your evening
fun and excitement just because they are not your type
and you're looking for that Mr. Right
to sweep you off your feet.
You know, enjoy yourself.
Have a good time, be content with what you have.
If you're only going out to be seen
and to find that right guy,
after every single night
when that right guy's not approaching you,
you will come back home disappointed.
Number Seven.
No matter what any single guy says,
challenge is always attractive.
Putting yourself on a plate,
competing for his attention, being needy,
acting desperate,
making your life all about a man,
it is a massive, massive, massive turnoff.
Challenge is always attractive.
However, guys who are single will never admit
that a woman being a challenge for a man is attractive
because it does not benefit them.
Men who are single,
majority of them initially are looking for some fun
with no investment.
Even though these guys get hooked on a challenge as well,
usually guys are a bit egotistic.
They like some ego stroke.
And when they get to have you easily,
it strokes their ego,
and they kind of collect you as a sport card.
Then we usually brag about
their one-night-stands to their friends.
Also, the reason guys don't admit
that they like a challenge
because being a challenge,
you getting the guy to fall in love with you
by investing into you,
by becoming vulnerable, by opening his heart to you.
A guy is falling for a challenge.
It's actually dangerous for him
'cause he's risking to get his heart broken
and he's scared to be vulnerable and risk his heart.
So, of course, he's going to tell you
that he likes things easily
as it doesn't require any investment from his side.
It does not keep his heart vulnerable
and his feelings don't get hurt.
Number Eight.
Don't fall for his games,
such as, let's say, one week of no contact.
This is very, very common,
and guys do this game even
to the girls that they love admire and cherish.
However, nowadays, I really recommend for you ladies
when you get this game from a guy,
let's say he went no week of no contact,
with you for no reason whatsoever
then he eventually gets in touch with you,
I would tell you to call him out on it
and break up with him.
By breaking up, you're setting in a boundary,
and the breakup for this reason
usually is a boundary setting.
If he comes after you and steps it up
and doesn't play these games again,
yes, you can take him back.
If he doesn't, and he says, "Yeah, whatever,
you should have been the one texting me first,"
then let it go and don't worry about it,
because at the end of the day,
he will leave with a seed planted in his mind.
The seed planted in his mind will be there
because you were the one setting in a boundary
by showing self-respect.
Self-respect is the hardest thing
that a woman can have.
Because you're showing self-respect here,
even if he breaks up with you
or says, I don't care about you, anyway,"
in the back of his mind,
he will still be thinking about you
and won't be able to let it go.
It is because you showed self-respect.
Ladies, how to set in the healthy boundaries with a guy,
check out my video right here.
So, ladies, these were my eight tips.
Never fight for his attention and you will always have it.
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games men play on women,
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how to get your ex back,
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Kisses from Dorset. (kisses)