(whimsical music)
- If you remember from two weeks ago,
burnout occurs when the reward for what we do
isn't commensurate with the effort we have to put in.
And the reward can be many things,
not just money or success.
Therefore, burnout can happen to anyone.
It could happen to a lawyer, teacher, stay-at-home mom,
postal service worker, waitress, you name it!
But before we go any further,
just a reminder that this video series
is an educational project sponsored by Google.
Even though burnout can happen to anyone,
there are still career paths
that are more likely to lead to burnout.
Those jobs are social workers, teachers, school principals,
lawyers, police officers, and those who work in retail.
My guess would be that this is happening
because the effort people have to put
into those jobs is a lot,
and the reward may just not line up.
For example, I know that many social workers
have to drive around to their patients' homes,
spend the time meeting with them,
sit in their car, write out their progress notes,
and then get back on the road onto their next appointment.
They can have huge patient lists
and have to find a way to see them all each week,
often working nights and weekends
to keep up with all the paperwork.
And the average salary of a social worker is only $55,000,
maxing out at about $62,000.
And if you live in an expensive city, like Los Angeles,
that means you spend most of your day in traffic
and you have to spend about half of your salary
on rent alone.
It's no wonder they're more likely to experience burnout!
Because burnout can happen to anyone,
today, I wanted to sit down
with one of my closest friends, Johanna.
She's gonna share her experience with burnout
and how she knew that that was what was going on,
as well as what steps she's taken to overcome it.
Thank you so much for making the time for me.
- Of course! - I can't believe
we haven't had you on the channel yet.
- Me neither.
- We've known each other forever, you guys.
We worked together for many years.
This is one of my closest and bestest friends.
But, I guess, because today we're gonna talk a little bit
about burnout and your experience with it
and taking care of yourself, heaven forbid.
I'm curious how you felt before.
If you even remember what it was like before kids.
- Oh my gosh! - When we used to go to yoga
three days a week.
- Yeah.
Kati and I lived the life.
- We did.
- No, everything was fun and it seemed like it was easy.
I mean, not necessarily easy, not every day,
but it felt kind of more effortless, more fun,
you felt kinda connected,
I felt into what I was doing,
it wasn't hard to go to work or...
- It wasn't like stressful?
- It didn't feel like it was...
Not stressful, but it was just this other thing
that was there that you had to do that just it seemed
like it was taking too much of your time.
- Oh, kind of like something hanging in the back
that's like still there, like...
- Yeah.
- So you can't be fully present.
- Mm-hm.
- And so, were some of the signs and symptoms
that things were getting bad kind of like
not feeling so effortless?
- Right.
So, I had a couple things happen.
Well, firstly, I had kids,
so then work felt a little like it was crowding,
just the space in my head.
The other way around, I don't know,
but so that was a little bit extra stress,
just trying to get your schedule down a little better,
it certainly didn't feel as effortless.
And then I had a couple like big life events
that were stressful and then a family member got ill,
and it was then when I wouldn't even really call it burnout.
It was definitely a specific event that, I guess,
with other things that were going on,
this particular event just like tipped me over the edge,
I guess you could say,
and I really noticed that I really was not doing that well,
when I just couldn't concentrate at work.
I feel anxious in general.
I mean, I guess in that time I would describe it
as just stressed, but it was like anxiety, too.
I remember being at work at a lunch with my manager
and were doing this like basic,
we had to like calculate some mildish thing,
it was like so basic and I just like couldn't concentrate.
(laughs)
I swear she must have been looking at me thinking
what is wrong with you?
We're just doing some general math here.
I just realized I couldn't concentrate
and that same day, I remember we went to a clinic
that I've been to so many times,
and it's at the end of a hallway with the sign
such and such clinic and then there's this tiny little bit
to the hallway to the right that goes nowhere
except for another door that doesn't even have a sign on it.
And I literally was walking the hallway
and I walked right by this door
that I've gone in a million times that has the big sign,
down this little part of the hallways
that there's nothing even there
and I was just like oh my gosh.
- Yeah, like where am I? - I can't even--
- What am I doing? - I'm not even here,
I'm not present,
I'm really having a hard time concentrating.
And then, that was when I realized
I really wasn't there at work,
and I basically felt like I needed to take care of myself.
Otherwise I was, you know, just,
I wasn't even doing a good job at work, basically.
So if I wasn't doing a good job at work,
and I wasn't feeling good,
then I just thought it was time to take a break.
- Yeah.
And was it hard to make that decision?
- Oh yeah, for sure 'cause I could have,
the stressful event that tipped me over the edge
was probably the beginning of September
and this was now the second week of October,
so it was five weeks when I had that day
where I realized like I'm having trouble at work.
And it was now the next week after that
when I called my manager
and just said I'm gonna have to take some time off,
so it was six week.
And it was hard.
Like I think, I was thinking about taking some time off,
but then, I feel like a lot of us,
we have that personality where we just gotta do,
we gotta go, we gotta keep going
and we can do it and I've got kids
and I work and I can keep going and this is--
- I can do it all. - Yes.
And so, it was hard to...
Firstly, I don't like to let anybody down,
so it was reframing the idea that I'm letting people down.
And then, just realizing that if I can't be there
in the best way I'm capable,
then it's almost a bad reflection on me anyway at work.
- Yeah, like it's not...
If you're not there, then you're not,
like you're not really present,
you're not able to do what they need you to do anyways.
- Yeah.
I was like not doing the best job I could,
and then I was not doing the best job either
for taking care of myself.
So, it wasn't really working.
- And I think it is hard,
like thinking that we're letting people down.
And, how do you reframe that?
Was it like, do you mean like changing the way
that you perceive it yourself?
Like oh no, I'm letting myself down if I don't take a break?
Or did you mean just like reconsidering it,
like well, I'm not good at work right now anyway
'cause I can't focus?
- It was kinda that.
'Cause you feel like you're letting your team down,
and I never really felt like
I was necessarily letting my customers down.
But, your manager and your team,
and so, I think I just reframed it by realizing
that I wasn't being that productive anyway.
- Yeah, totally. - And so...
And then you just realize
you start putting everything in perspective
on what's the most important thing in the end,
and it has to come back to yourself,
and if you're not doing well, then kinda what's the point?
- I think it is.
I mean, it'd be hard for anybody to take a break.
I think that's very normal 'cause we think we can do it all.
And especially us women, I think, or like this time,
not this time, but like 2019, like I can have kids,
I can have a full-time job, I can do it all, look at me.
And then you're like no, I can't right now and that's okay.
- Yeah, I think it's true.
I mean, I'm not like that overachiever,
super ambitious person by any means,
but I definitely have like a very conscientious outlook
and approach to everything that I think
I just wanna show up for people, I wanna be there,
I wanna be reliable, and then you just think
that you can do it, you can do it, so--
- And she is very reliable.
You can always count on Jo.
And so then, I think the next step
was getting professional help.
Did that like work tandem,
when you're like I'm gonna take a break,
I'm also gonna get professional help?
Or how did that--
- I think I was already getting help anyway.
Like I was already seeing a therapist,
so it was just more focusing
those conversations in a therapy session
about like what was going on for me right now.
She helped me reframe some things, too,
and have some perspective.
So, I don't think necessarily I had to reach out
and get different help or additional help.
I feel like it was already there for me,
which I feel very fortunate about.
And honestly, probably without that support,
it might have taken more time for me to actually
admit that I needed time off.
I don't even remember exactly how it went down,
but I just remember I had the support there
which helped make the decision.
- Yeah, make you feel validated.
Like what you're going through is a lot.
- Yes, exactly!
- 'Cause we always do this like maybe I'm making it up,
maybe I'm making it worse than it really is.
- Yeah, maybe I'm being dramatic,
or maybe people could handle this.
Maybe it's not that big of a deal,
and I'm just like I can't handle the stress or the pressure.
- Yeah, totally.
- But it was a lot to go through.
- You're not dramatic, either, by the way.
(laughs)
- I know I'm not dramatic,
which is why it's hard to do it
'cause when you take the time off,
you feel like you're being dramatic.
- Totally, like I'm making this big statement.
So when you came back to work and told people,
just 'cause I want them to hear it 'cause I love this,
what did people say when you were like
I had to take a break.
- Yeah, so I returned to work
and I would just let people know
yeah, I had to take some time off
because I had a family member who was ill,
and just some other things going on
and I just like really felt like I couldn't do it all,
and I was stressed out and I just decided
I didn't wanna like be stressed out and doing everything.
And so, most of my customers were like oh, really?
So you took care of yourself?
That's awesome!
Like we should all be taking care of ourselves.
- Yeah.
And I think that's an important message.
Like we have all these worries and concerns,
like oh, maybe I'm making it up, maybe I'm being dramatic.
Maybe everybody else could deal with this or something.
But you should take care of yourselves
and you get the validation,
like well, so you took a break 'cause you needed to?
Perfect, that's good.
- Yeah, and most people were just very positive about it.
People at work,
I mean, my manager was very positive about it.
And honestly, when I first took time off,
I didn't even know how long it would be
and I would have to call her and let her know.
I need to extend it, I'm not ready to come back yet,
and she was always very supportive.
Other people on my team were very supportive.
The people that I informed about it,
and then my customers, when I came back,
were all like well, how are you doing?
And how is your sister doing?
And how is everything else going like?
And so, it felt very encouraging and just a lot of support
from people that they care and then you kinda feel like
yeah, I did do the right thing by taking time off
because I came back to work and now I feel great.
Like I'm back and I kind of am happy to be there,
and happy to see everybody, and I just feel a lot better.
I took a little bit extra time
and then a little bit more time,
but I didn't go back until I felt really ready
and when I did, I honestly, I feel fine and great
and happy to be back.
- And was it hard dealing with HR?
Just 'cause I know a lot of people out there
will have to take time off and they're afraid to talk
to their employer, like oh,
if I let 'em know I'm having a hard time,
like what was the process like for you?
- So, I feel very fortunate and grateful
that I work for a company that has awesome benefits
and they're very supportive.
I mean, I just had to inform my manager.
I basically first called her and said I think I,
well, I didn't say I think I need to,
I said I'm gonna need to take some time off of work.
Of course, I started crying.
(laughing) - Of course.
- And she's like no, no, no, whatever you need,
what's going on?
She was very supportive, so I just had a conversation,
and I didn't have to tell her anything
about what was going on.
I mean, she knew that I had some stressful situations
going on, but she didn't really know that much about it.
And so, just informing her and then she was great
about the process and actually I took leave for Jade,
my daughter, who's my second child,
so I've taken leave a couple times in the last couple years.
So I kinda knew the process anyway.
So, just emailing somebody in HR and letting them know
that you're gonna be taking time off,
this will be your first day off of work
and then they set you up and send you the information
for if you happen to have
a short term disability plan at work,
then they set you up with the information,
how to access that benefits and how to get it going,
so that was pretty much it.
- Perfect, cool.
'Cause I think a lot of people get scared,
like oh, what is that process?
How much do I need to tell them?
And so it's nice
that you don't have to tell them everything.
- No, you don't have to tell them anything.
- Yeah, it's not their business, really.
- Right.
- They just need to know you can't do your job right now
and you need to take a break. - Yeah.
- And so, now that you're feeling good
and you're back to work, what are the things
that you do to keep yourself feeling this way?
- So, I think I'm trying to be like just more present
in what I'm doing.
I feel like I have started like more mindfulness.
I know that's probably something
that everybody's been doing for a while
and now I'm just getting to it.
(laughing)
But, you trying to pay attention to my surroundings,
and be aware, and be more like in the present and recognize
that where we are here and now is what matters.
And forget about the future,
and whatever you did in the past
that you feel like you should have done or could have done,
or whatever, it's pointless.
So just trying to stay in the present
and not worry too much about everything.
- So, would you have any advice for someone out there
who maybe is feeling like they're teetering on the edge?
Like when you're walking down that hallway
and you just go the wrong way?
(laughing) - Yeah.
I mean, if you're having trouble concentrating at work,
that's definitely a big sign, I think.
We all have issues concentrating at work sometimes,
that's why there's coffee. - Totally.
(laughs)
- Those basic things that you wouldn't even like,
that's the thing,
you don't even have to pay attention to them,
they happen like second nature.
And if you're having trouble doing those things,
then you should listen to...
I don't know if it's listening to your body,
or listening to just what's going on,
just paying attention to the fact
that things aren't coming so easily.
And then, obviously, if you're having issues with your,
that last week, I think, I was every emotional,
if you can't show up at your workplace,
or you need to leave because you're having crying spells,
then that's definitely...
- That's my sign. - That's a sign.
(laughing)
- That's my sign, cry.
Before I stop concentrating, I start crying.
- Right, yeah.
So that's definitely a sign.
And then, I mean, my only other advice is
if you are having any questions about it,
at least find somebody who you can talk to about it
who can encourage you about taking care of yourself
and making the best decision for you
'cause I think sometimes if we just try and do it all alone,
we're not gonna come up with the--
- It's almost like the blind leading the blind
'cause if you are already in it,
sometimes you can't see out.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- So get some help.
It doesn't even necessarily have to be professional help.
I mean, that's always great, but if it's not,
if it's just a friend that you trust who knows you well,
and if you explain like what's going on
and that you think maybe it would be a good idea
if you took a break for a minute,
I can guarantee you that friend
will probably be encouraging you to take a little break,
if it's possible.
Yeah, and then the other thing is try not to...
I don't know, we all have different work situations,
so some particular might think like if they're not there,
they're literally like, the world will not continue.
And it's probably not that drastic,
but there's definitely gonna be, you know--
- Yeah, the whole-- - A spectrum for everybody.
So everyone's level of responsibility
in like not being there is
they're gonna feel differently about it,
but try to just put yourself first.
And your own health first.
- Yeah, totally.
I totally agree.
- Which, I mean, sounds so cliche,
like put your health first,
like there's nothing more important than your health.
But it doesn't always happen that way.
- No.
And if it's sending you the signals that something's wrong,
listen, and then take some steps to help yourself.
- Yes.
- Thank you so much for sharing your story.
- You're welcome.
- I hope you guys found this helpful,
and I'm glad they all get to meet Johanna.
- Hi everybody.
I love Kati. (laughing)
- A huge thank you to Johanna
for taking the time to share her story.
And remember, we're all going to experience
different symptoms of burnout,
but the most common are exhaustion,
difficulty concentrating, being easily angered,
struggling to sleep at night,
and being really close-minded.
You know, like when you just don't want
any potentially helpful feedback or ideas.
So, if you've been feeling any of these,
please reach out and speak up because with support,
it can get better.
And for this week's homework, I want you to consider
if you believe that you are struggling with burnout,
what are the symptoms that you experience most?
How do they feel in your body?
What do they prevent you from doing?
Think about it and start paying attention.
And to get that comment section started,
if you have tools or techniques
that you use to notice your symptoms of burnout,
share those in the comments down below!
You never know who you're gonna help.
And I will see you next week.
Bye.
(gentle music)
- When people say burnout, I go oh, I don't think
we're all talking about the same thing.
- No, because it can't be one word
for all these different things.
- Exactly.
That's when I say burnout doesn't exist,
I don't mean that you can't get burned out.
I'm saying that the term burnout,
I'm not sure we're all talking about the same thing at all.