'How's your throat?'
'It's actually pretty good.'
'sounds much better.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘Batwoman speaking, who is this?
’The Wild World of Batwoman is another terrible film from the mind of director/producer Jerry Warren.
‘I might have known you were behind this’
Inspired by the success of the Batman TV series with Adam West,
Warren made a film that makes that show look like gritty realism.
On a budget that Bruce Wayne could have found down the back of his sofa.
‘Big Deal’
Batwoman is the hero needed in a city rife with crime.
‘If you want it, you’re just going to have to come and get it’
#gun shot#
Boy, it really seemed like he had a plan.
But what about the two girls watching?
‘Bat girl 14 to bat woman. Witnessed a robbery that turned to murder’
Did nothing about it.
These are members of Batwoman’s team of Batgirls.
'We the girls who are dedicated to Batwoman take our oath with all sincerity.'
'We the girls who are dedicated to Batwoman take our pride with all sincerity.'
'We the girls who are dedicated to Batwoman fight against evil with all sincerity.'
They put a lot of emphasis on sincerity, and on their training regime.
'Alright girls, fitness concluded.'
Apparently, the film’s casting director waited outside a strip club that was being raided by the police,
then offered the newly unemployed strippers a job with slightly less dignity.
Fortunately, it doesn’t impact on performances.
‘If you want to talk, press the button’
‘Button?’
Batwoman herself is played by Katherine Victor,
who had worked with Warren before so was probably unsurprised that she had to design her own costume.
And when I say design, I mean draw a bat on her chest in eyeliner.
‘Get on with your dirty business’
The plot follows perhaps the worst business idea of all time.
‘The Ajax development corporation has developed an atomic hearing aid’
For the really deaf. And it gets better.
‘If you mix a little cobalt with it then Boom! It just goes’
Because who wouldn’t want to put a small nuclear bomb in their ear? If you weren’t deaf beforehand…
The hearing aid is the target of masked villain Rat Fink.
‘It’ll be pleasure to pay her back for all the times she’s foiled me in the past’
and his gang of comic sidekicks.
‘I’m known as Tiger’
Sure you are.
‘And this here’s Professor Neon. He’s a scientist’
They must get past the batgirls standing guard
‘Soup, hot soup girls, here it is.’
If you don’t question the man with a fake moustache offering you soup then you deserve to be poisoned,
but, as if the threat level wasn’t ridiculously low enough, their main weapon is a happy pill.
'I don't want another pill, I'm tired of being happy.'
That makes people dance. And frankly, there was enough dancing already.
In the background of this scene you’ll notice people waving at the camera,
or flipping it off.
Which I completely understand. In between her bat organ recitals.
#Organ music#
Batwoman finds time to save the day by conducting a bat séance/
‘We must call upon an etheric guide’
Preferably someone slow enough to bulk up the runtime.
‘I wish to thank you for coming to us’
‘It is perfectly alright’
I wasn’t doing anything else today.
‘Well get ready for the worst part of all.
’Seriously, get ready for the worst part of all.
‘I must emphasise it’s most important’
#Offenisive chinese sterotype dialougue - 'Wong jing ping etc' - you get the idesa.#
Moving on, Rat Fink kidnaps the Batgirls.
I do struggle to take a supervillain seriously when he rolls his trousers up.
They are taken to Rat Fink’s underground city.
I think this footage might be stolen.
From The Mole People.
Batwoman rescues the girls.
‘Free the others. Use your magnetic electron device’
But Rat Fink has gadgets of his own.
‘My fabulous body divider will render things most difficult for you.’
Can’t wait to see this.
'Ha ha ha, I'm still over there, and other there too!And at the same time here.'
And they all run around for a bit.
Warren was sued by the Batman TV show but won the case
and re-released the film as ‘She was a Hippy Vampire’
‘We’re vampires alright, but only in the synthetic sense’
And that’s the thing about Warren films, for a man with absolutely no ear for dialogue
– actor Bruno VeSota said it was like memorising a telephone book with pages picked at random –
he knew how to write a title.
‘So that’s your gimimick’
But also how to then make a film that completely fails to deliver on it.
‘That’s an understatement’
The Wild World of Batwoman is meant to be a comedy. But to be honest, it’s just a joke.
Thanks for watching. For more Jerry Warren film reviews click here.
This is our 4th Warren film, which should we review next? But not The Incredible Petrified World. That is unwatchable.