You know what it's like when you're following a gritting lorry
and there's that ticka-ticka...
You think, "No, it's turning my car into a DeLorean!"
Yeah, exactly. So, to make sure this isn't too powerful,
we've got Hammond in a car, who's just going to come in here.
We're going to do a little experiment, fire the gritter at it,
make sure it doesn't take the paint off.
-It'll be all right sideways, won't it? -Yeah, yeah.
-Okay James, engage. -Initiating gritting.
Oh, God! Stop it, James! There's been a problem! Make it stop!
Gritting ceased.
Apart from the fact the grit would kill the occupants of any car it hit,
we felt the Dominator was ready to start work.
But there was a problem.
It's not going to snow, is it?
With crossed fingers, we tuned in to the weather forecast.
Good afternoon. We're going to see a change in our weather this week.
Temperatures really starting to climb, Things heading milder.
We've had a fair bit of cloud around already.
The good news is there's absolutely no sign of the cold air
returning in the near future. It's a very mild outlook.
The reason we've got all this warm air, it's pumping up from the tropics.
-What does he know? -All right!
He doesn't have to rub it in, does he? He sounds all gleeful about it.
So, if the snow wouldn't come to the Dominator,
we would take the Dominator to the snow.
Here in Norway,
we decided to clear the snow from a frozen lake to make a runway.
And then a Nor would land his plane on it.
-This is quite snowy. -It must have snowed.
We knew the ice would be thick enough for a light aircraft,
but what about our heavy snowbine?
I thought you'd be drilling for hours! That was ten seconds!
-Don't move... -Seriously, has that gone through?
Yes.
Norwegians actually have a chart to say...
how much weight you can put on various thicknesses of ice.
-So, how thick is it? -45 centimetres.
-Well, say 50... -No, let's say 40.
It's 45.
So, 50 centimetres of ice, 12 tons.
Combine's more than that.
13 tons.
-13 tons. -So, we can't do it?
Well, it is only a ton over.
Bravely, Hammond and the optimistic Jeremy decided not to be on board,
as I gingerly drove the snowbine out of the woods...
Bloody big this thing.
...towards the ice.
Three yards to the lake.
This is it.
I don't like that noise.
Eventually though, I made it.
Did I or did I not say we'd be all right?
Yeah, was that or was that not based entirely on guesswork anyway?
-Yes. -Yeah.
But as my guesswork was correct, we set to work.
We're ploughing.
We're ploughing, chaps, look at this!
Yah. Here we go!
The snowbinester, it works!
Yeah! Come on!
-Come on! -Yah, yah!
-I think we've just gone through it. -Yeah, we have.
That's not an emergency. It's just time to empty your bowels.
-Sinking. -Sinking.
Bravely, Jeremy dismounted...
James, back it up.
...and started issuing orders.
That is sinking badly.
Put your blade down, James.
That's just gone through again.
When the combine finally moved, we could see the scale of the peril.
-That's 300 metres deep. -It's just...
That's just water.
However, unlike the snowplough people at Heathrow Airport,
we decided not to just give up.
Do you know how many flights were cancelled in Heathrow last year
because of the weather?
3,700.
Do you know how many flights were cancelled at Oslo because of the weather?
-2,000? -Two. Two.
-Heathrow, 3,700. -'Cause we had one bit of snow?
And as we were proving, all that misery was completely unnecessary.
There really is no excuse.
Heathrow, BAA, if you're watching this, you're pathetic.
And if anybody in a meeting says,
"Oh, well, the reason why it was shut is..." sack him.
There is no reason why it was shut,
because it isn't difficult to clear a runway. It just isn't.
My rant was interrupted at this point by news from below decks.
Bovril's... The Bovril's boiling over.
And up top, Hammond was still fretting about the ice.
Oh, my God! That's another crack there. Look!
Yeah. Big one.
When we go through, it's going to be worse for him.
Oh, God, yes, because he will be pawing at the glass, desperate.
Right now, though, he was pawing at the steering wheel.
James! James, go right, you idiot! Stay right!
It's a straight line we're looking for!
Yeah, I think this will be a tricky landing, actually, James.
We got into a tank slapper.
Look where we're pointing.
James, the trees indicate land.
Eventually, though, James mastered the rear wheel steering.
I'm waiting to look behind us and see a runway,
complete with lights and everything.
That isn't happening, but it's not bad, look.
And pretty soon, the runway was finished.
So, we pulled over and radioed the pilot, giving him permission to land.
It's not the smoothest runway.
No, but there's less snow on it than there was.
It is smooth enough, isn't it? Well, we're about to find out.
Here he comes.
-Look at that. -Job done.
Ladies and gentlemen...
-We did that. -We did that.
Sadly, though, our celebrations were premature.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah, that is quite bumpy.
-He's crashed. -He has pretty much crashed there.
At a time like this, there's only one thing a man can do.
Right, quick, go. Just get in and go! Go! Go!
Right, James, run!