- Jake, would you rather
have tiny, tiny hands?
Like hand smaller than an avocado
or a giant tongue?
Like a, like the biggest tongue,
like the size of a Nerf ball.
That's like a big problem for you.
That's like a situation
and it like you can't close your mouth
and it's always just hanging out of your mouth.
For me I'd go with the tiny hands
because you can always just put them in your pocket
and then boom.
No more problem,
but with the tongue, it's like,
you might as well be wearing a shirt that says,
look at my big giant tongue.
This is a giant problem for me right now and at all times.
So what's your preference?
What would you,
what would you rather do?
What would you rather do?
Jake?
Jake!
- I'd rather have regular hands and a regular tongue.
- Right, but that's not--
- That's what I want!
(phone ringing)
- Why don't people kiss more?
- What do you mean?
- Like when you see me, we shake hands.
Like we touch hands,
but like,
what's the difference between that
and like you touching your hand to my mouth?
It's all just skin.
When you see me,
why don't you touch my mouth with your hand
or my mouth with your mouth?
I don't mind, you give me like a mouth shake.
I know you better than any girl I've ever known
in my entire life
and we never kiss each other and I'm just like,
did I do something wrong?
- I kiss people all the time.
- Men?
- Yeah, of course.
- Wow, I've never kissed a man.
What's that like?
- It's amazing.
I mean, kissing is the best.
- Well, why don't we kiss?
- Because we work together, that'd be weird.
- Huh?
I guess I got to find a man I don't work with to kiss.
- I got a guy I could put you in touch.
- Really?
That'd be great.
I'm hungry, you want to get lunch?
- Here's my impression of you,
"I'm hungry, you want to get lunch?"
- Here's my impression of you,
I'm Jake and I hate myself so I lash out at others.
- Here's my impression of you.
I can't handle the heat that Jake brings at me.
- Here's my impression of you.
For some reason I bring heat against my good friend
who is nothing but nice to me.
- Here's my impression to you.
Wah, I'm a nice boy.
- Here's my impression of you.
I think deeply insecure person
and I feel confused about who I am.
- Here's my impression of you.
(whining)
- Here's my impression of you.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow--
- That's too far.
- Sorry,
- You want to go to lunch?
- Yeah.
(phone ringing)
(dinging)
(phone ringing)
(horror music)
(dinging)
I just bought some socks.
- Oh, nice.
(phone ringing)