It’s time for
Wonderful Adventure Now Korea
The Gaming Edition
[music]
When I first came to Korea, I expected there to be a lot of like
arcades everywhere and a huge gaming culture.
Turns out that they have a big PC gaming culture,
but not too much for arcades, so today we’re gonna try to do
some different kind of gaming. They’ve got street games everywhere,
we got batting cages, and we also found some cool arcades here as well.
So let’s go over the ground rules.
Rule number one: we have to take pictures WANKing in front of a Korean idol,
actor, actress, or musician.
Rule number two: we have to take a picture of the best Engrish,
and you’re gonna vote on it.
Who won the Engrish challenge, Simon?
I won the Engrish challenge last time, you won the idol challenge,
because I only had the soccer coach? -The soccer coach for the Korean team.
From the Netherlands? -It was either the Netherlands, or Norway, or Holland.
I have no idea. Just looked like a random white guy to me.
Are you gonna give up this time?
No, this time I’m totally gonna rock you.
And number three: we’re gonna have a random showdown
and the loser will have to face dire consequences. MU HU HWA HA
So hopefully Simon won’t lose again, because this is getting kinda embarrassing for him, right?
This is a gaming one. I’m totally gonna rock you today.
[music]
[crazy fast DDR music, random exclamations of awe from Martina]
Gaming Level: Asian -That was amazing.
[music]
I don’t want to play anymore. I’m gonna die if I try to do this.
Simon and I have never played Dance Dance Revolution, although this is
Pump it Up Fiesta! Now I’m embarrassed because we’re gonna play at level one
and we’re gonna get our asses kicked.
Simon: YOU’RE gonna get your ass kicked. I’m gonna rock it.
Really, you think you’re gonna rock it, Simon?
Simon: ‘Course I am. You know who I am? This Mordney Present.
[music]
[sad, yet moving secret documentary music]
That was terrible.
I’m gonna play this game. It’s some kind of pervert ball-throwing game.
The guy’s in the subway and he’s all, like, flashing people,
and so you have to throw the ball at his... junk. That’s my assumption.
I almost said a bad word on camera! -Yoohoo~
Streakers!
Simon: Hit him! Hit him! In the balls! Oh, you got him.
Simon: Oh, you hit a random person. -He’s in my way, though.
That game was totally rigged, because I was totally hitting him, but it wasn’t making an effect.
Simon: You’re supposed to hit him in the dick. -I tried to.
Simon: Two person game. Competitive. Start!
Martina: This is like War of the Worlds, we have no idea what’s happening!
[music]
You’re just guessing! That’s right. One player is me~
How was your game, Simon?
Winner! That was pure randomness there, most of the time.
[music]
[excited Spudgy noises]
Push it! Really? All I got was some stupid gum.
I wanted those coco wafer berperisa krim chocolate!
Okay, we’re gonna play a drum game, which Simon is usually terrible at.
Simon: I hate rhythm games. -He’s really bad with rhythm.
This is the Japanese game, with like all Japanese writing on it.
[sounds pretty good]
As for the English of the song...
I hate rhythm games!
So somebody’s playing Street Fighter on the other side,
but I’m gonna put my chances up against him. And I’m gonna ROCK IT.
That’s right. A new warrior, that’s me. I’m a new warrior. Who’m I gonna use?
He’s going DOWN. Probably not.
Martina: Are you Ken or Blanka? -I’m Ken.
Ah, no. No, don’t trip me!
Yeah~ That was totally not fluke.
Shoryuken!!! Look at him burnin’ in the fire! That’s what I did to him.
Better not trip me. He wasn’t attacking at all, he was just waiting for me to attack.
He was afraid. Of my shoryuken.
Aw, yeah, shoryuken up in that!
No! He’s so cheap. So cheap.
Why’s he runnin’ from me?
GRUMPY. I should have won that. I have no more monies.
Martina: Mom~
We probably just spent like 10 bucks here, but we played for probably a couple hours.
And what’s great about this place? It’s only like 50 cents to play a game?
That’s pretty cheap in order to play. Anyhow, we’re gonna move on to some other games.
Some outdoor games, and maybe something else. We’ll see.
Diet Pigis. I go on working out in to stay in shape. That’s a winner right there.
World Beer Outlet Barket. I think it’s supposed to be market and bar matched together
to form a Barket, and over here it says, “This is Beer Barket”, but
that makes no sense to me at all.
So I’ve made my Kpop choice. Today I’m choosing Batoost, in Simon’s words. ALL of B2st.
Simon: You gotta pick one. You can’t pick all of them. -No! I choose all of them.
What are you, slapping his nuts? -I’m slapping him on the bum.
You’re crude, Simon, you’re really crude.
Okay, I have my Kpop idol. Here we have Jay Park telling you to bring legitimate ID.
If that’s not a winner, I don’t know what is. Come on, Jaywalkers,
where you at? He’s much better than Batoost, you know this.
Come on, Jaywalkers, you gotta vote for me, now.
So since we played so many competitive games with so much manly testosterone,
we’re gonna go to a super girly place. This is a couple cafe. “Cafe Love”.
Super pink and couply. Let’s go, Simon. You’re gonna have a great time!
Simon: Oh boy.
[brief Dothraki man warrior music interlude]
Simon: These are some extremely steep stairs.
[music]
Why, hello there.
So this is a couple cafe. This is really weird. I’ve never actually had this experience before.
They guide you into a room, which like has a sliding door.
And it’s actually like a bed that you sit on on the ground, so we had to take off our shoes.
I’m actually like sitting on this big bed. There’s a table here as well.
Martina: Touch my tootsie. -Here are Martina’s little dirty socks.
Probably shouldn’t have touched them. That was a bad idea.
[music]
[ALARM]
So we’re doing our WANKing challenge right now.
We have eight gums that we wound up winning from the arcade.
We’re gonna have to unwrap the gum, chew the gum, and whoever is the first person to blow a bubble.
Not like a little plip. It has to be like a proper bubble that’s formed,
that you can close off, and seal as a bubble. -I think something like this is acceptable. -Yeah.
Three. Two. One. Go.
[intense and stressful music]
How do you open this crazy thing?
Please!
This is totally unfair.
I mushed it up nicely in here.
Your mouth is bigger. -Your mouth is bigger!
My jaw hurts. -Mine, too.
It has to be bigger than your lips, we said. Bigger than your lips.
I didn’t say-- That’s it! -I said bigger than your lips.
It has to be like a proper bubble that’s formed,
that you can close off, and seal as a bubble. -I think something like this is acceptable. -Yeah.
I said bigger than your lips. -You’re such a cheater! You’re an unbelievable cheater!
I said bigger than your lips. We have it on footage.
I said it has to be bigger than this, and you said okay. -You said bigger than your lips, I swear to you.
No, it popped! It popped!
You’re unbelievable! -It’s popping.
You’re spitting on me. It’s disgusting!
Did you seal it? Aww.
That’s it right there. You’re a filthy cheater, Simon.
I almost caught up to you.
Oh, Simon. -I lost again... -You’re not doing well, right?
Okay, roll your punishment die, no stalling!
What is it?
Oh. Oh my gosh. Two.
Okay, number two is... oh boy! I have to eat something hands free.
Martina: Hands free! I’m gonna order chocolate cake for you. You can be like Honey-senpai.
Go, hurry it up, before the cafe people come in.
You’re doing pretty well so far, piggy.
Tiramisu, oh boy. -Is it? I hate Tiramisu. I’m glad this wasn’t me.
Oh, you are hoovering that, Simon. Is this really much of a punishment? Like, eat cake.
Hands free! -Oh no.
Is there too much cake in your mouth?
Stuck to my lip. I clean my face like a gentleman. -Good job.
So, that’s it for this week’s WANKing adventure.
Hope you had fun with us as we played some ridiculous games.
So don’t forget to vote for the Engrish and the Idol in the comments or on our Facebook poll.
And to subscribe for more WANKing adventures.
P.S. You suck. Yeah, I’m sorry, little hamster. You only suck a little!
[music]