Alright, Prank War
Part Two!
[Prank me baby one more time]
Now, you would think that after all this pine tree penetration
And all this wacky wiener doodling
That maybe we could just call a ceasefire and end this stupid prank war
But you would be mistaken
Because it turns out it's pretty fun making your friends look stupid
Or, even better, you make them look like some kind of weird pervert
But the first video was just the highlights of this prank war
So I'm gonna give you a quick rundown on some of the incidents that happened
Ready? Here we go
[Incident #1]
A few of us snuck over to Cody's house in the middle of the night
And we decided to put 400 oil change stickers all over his car's window
That dumbass spent an hour and a half peeling every single one of those things off one by one
[Incident #2]
We covered Brewer's room in wrapping paper
And then we drew a bunch of dicks on that wrapping paper
Did we really have to draw wieners again? Well, the answer to that is yes!
Why would we break tradition?
Look at it, that one's got a smiley face on it
Alright
[Incident #3]
Me and Cody dumped a bunch of baby powder in the vents of David's car
We even snuck our shitty little hidden camera in the backseat
Here he is, starting up his car
Looking life a baffled idiot, thinking his car is about to blow up
[Incident #4]
Me and Stephen blow up 200 balloons one night
And we stuffed them all in his mom's bathroom
She was totally innocent! Not even a part of this whole shitty prank war
Now she's over here, trying to take a piss before work
And she's got a goddamn birthday party in her bathroom
[Incident #5]
This one was one of my favourite pranks
And it involved me and Stephen going over to David's house, while he was at work
And stealing all his clothes out of his bedroom
We walk up to his house, his sister let's us right in
She doesn't give a shit
"Aw, you're here to ruin my brother's life?"
"Ah, well, come right in, I'll show you to the bedroom"
We shoved all his clothes in the trunk of my car
But we did leave him one t-shirt
It was one of my dad's old t-shirts
And it had a big-ass deer on it
Why the hell anybody would have that shirt? I don't know!
"Hey, why do you got that weird shirt of a deer?"
"Uh.. well.. because I fucking like deer, that's why!"
And if that wasn't enough, we rigged a couple buckets up above his door
That we filled with water and confetti
Like we're a couple of Kevin McAllisters
So when he walks in, they both dump on him
And he gets all wet and sparkly, has to change his clothes
But guess what, his ass ain't got no clothes
He shows up to my work, wearing his sweet, sweet deer shirt
And he's like:
"Uhm, can I have my clothes back now?"
"Ah, man, look at that sweet deer shirt you got on there!"
"You must really like deer a lot!"
"I bet you a nice shirt like that must have cost you a few bucks, didn't it?"
"You get it, David? Bucks like a deer! Like the deer on your shirt!"
"You look ridiculous, David!"
"Get your goddamn clothes out of my car"
"Before somebody sees me standing here, while you're wearing that shirt, God damn it!"
[Incident #6]
Now, it's important to note, that not every prank that we pulled was successful
Not all of them were home runs, for instance:
We tried to get Cody with the old Saran wrap over the toilet bowl trick
You know, so when he goes to take a piss, his pee would bounce off the Saran wrap
And shoot everywhere!
Be ricocheting off the walls and shit
Preferably right back in his stupid dumb face
So we put the plastic wrap on there, and it looks pretty good!
Even with the seat up, it's not too noticeable
I mean, ideally, we were hoping that Cody sits down and pees like a girl
And he'd end up peeing all over his own asshole
And nobody wants that, now, do they?
So now we're all just sitting around, waiting for Cody to use the bathroom
And we're trying our best to steer him in that direction
"Hey Cody, you want a beer? How about 9 of them?"
"You guys wanna talk about waterfalls?"
"We can talk about running water in general, how about that?"
We got neon signs pointing to the bathroom and shit
Finally he goes in there, we're all huddled around the door
"He's gonna do it! He's gonna pee on himself!"
" 'Cause he's.. he's a stupid idiot!"
But unfortunately, he doesn't pee on himself
He sees that Saran wrap right away, as soon as he walks in there
But he's looking at it a little perplexed, it doesn't quite click in Cody's brain
That this is a practical joke
He just thinks that we're just a bunch of weird perverts, that put plastic wrap over the toilet
"What are you, guys, collecting your poop? Why is there plastic wrap on your guys' toilet?"
"God damn it, Cody! You were supposed to pee on it, so you get peed all over youself!"
"You guys really think I'm that stupid?"
"Yes, Cody, we did!"
"We thought you were SO stupid!"
"But you're a goddamn detective and you cracked the case, congratulations!"
Now I know, what you're thinking: "What if Cody would've taken shit intead?"
I mean, what we should've done, was feed Cody a bunch of Taco Bell
Hell, he'd be in that bathroom in no time!
He probably would've never seen that plastic wrap!
He'd be standing there in my bathroom, freaking out
Looking at his levitating turd, thinking he's some kind of shit wizard
"Hey you guys, that Taco Bell I had it's making my poop float!"
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