- Hey everybody, it's Roberto.
I initially had a very different video planned,
but with the current situation in the world,
with everything that's happening right now,
with the tragic murder of George Floyd,
with the injustice and hardship
suffered by many, many people,
with the ravages of the coronavirus in our communities,
and with our economy,
I just felt that it was important to make a video
where I address people's concerns,
and where I take this opportunity
to give what I think is an important message
to all creators, and to the people here
in this community that we've built.
And so this video is not gonna be heavily edited,
and this video is also not gonna be monetized.
I have nothing against any creator who's posting
or monetizing content at this time.
In fact, I'm encouraging creators to use their platform,
to raise money for charities, and causes,
and for communities that are suffering right now,
businesses that need to be rebuilt.
People who need to be protected,
and also to use their platform for many things
that we just really need right now from everybody.
But I want to walk through some of my own issues
with what's going on and my own thoughts and feelings here,
and maybe some of you can relate to it.
And also maybe some of you will be educated by it.
And so I kinda want to tackle a few
of these things in order.
I want to talk about what's going on
right now with George Floyd,
and in response to that situation.
I wanna talk about my own experiences with black anxiety.
I wanna talk about the coronavirus,
and I wanna talk about what we can do as creators
to act responsibly at this time,
and what we can do to just support each other,
and everybody that relies on us.
I don't pretend that I have all the answers,
and I don't pretend to know what
the right thing is all the time.
And so I want you to just kind of take what I'm saying
as one person's experience and point of view.
And I want you to just try to be as thoughtful,
and educate yourself as much as possible.
My own experiences have been very difficult
to reconcile, and to talk about during this time.
Even with the people closest to me.
And watching what happened to George Floyd,
watching so many horrific events unfold in the wake of that,
I feel very much myself, confused,
hurt, sad, angry, lost.
And it's been trash for my mental health.
I'm just gonna say it like that.
It's not been, it's not been great.
And,
in general, that's a struggle
that I deal with every day anyway.
Anyone who's ever suffered from depression,
and suicidal ideation knows that you have to fight
that battle every hour of every day.
And you have to win that battle every hour of every day.
And as I scroll through social media,
I'm reintroducing myself to my trauma minute after minute,
hour after hour, horrific thing after horrific thing.
And it's just been this cycle of abuse
and mental self mutilation, and it's a rabbit hole
that's been very hard to climb out of.
And it's one of the reasons that I'm making this video.
And maybe there's a lot of you who are experiencing
exactly the same thing,
I've been talking and DMing with some of you,
and I know that that's in fact, the case.
And I know that for a lot of my friends,
you know, who have similar experiences to me,
which I'll get to in a minute,
who've had their own horrific experience,
their own experiences with violence and racial profiling,
and just again, black anxiety as a whole,
it's just been very,
I don't even,
the word challenging doesn't even really cover it, right?
So there's that.
And I feel like I'm struggling with this.
I feel like I'm not articulating my points
the way that I would like, but again,
this is not gonna be edited.
I'm not doing a second take for anything.
Like this is just how I feel right now.
Well,
in context, because I kind of,
I've talked about this before in interviews
and stuff like that, if I talk about this,
I wanna do it justice,
and maybe do a dedicated video to it.
But I will say that many years ago,
I had an experience with being targeted by vigilantes,
racial profiling, mistaken identity.
And it was a very traumatic experience to say the least.
And it was made more traumatic by the fact
that when I flagged down police officers for help,
I wasn't treated like a victim,
I was treated like a suspect.
And it wasn't until my white friends vouched for me,
that the police officers started treating me differently.
And when I got to the hospital, it wasn't much better.
It was more of the same.
And so when you have experiences like that, your--
(intense music)
I just wanna, I wanna move to the next topic.
(sighs)
So my feelings around black anxiety,
I feel like this is something that I articulate
better when I write it down.
So every day, when you walk out of your house,
you have to be panicked as to whether you have your ID,
because not having it might be a death sentence.
Every day, you have to know that you won't be given
the benefit of the doubt.
Every day, you have to walk out the door
and know that you fit the profile of a suspect.
Every day, no matter how much money you make,
no matter how smart you are,
no matter how accommodating you are,
no matter how nonthreatening you are,
you know that it's not enough, you know.
And so you have to live with that.
And there's no amount of money, and no amount of privilege
that ever lessens your blackness.
There's no getting around it.
There's nothing you can do to close that gap.
And you know that, and you live with that,
day after day, minute after minute, hour after hour.
And you're reminded of it at every corner,
at every turn,
every time you're followed around in the store,
every time they ask if you're sure,
when you know you can afford it.
Every single time you are made in some way
to question whether or not you're less than.
And so that is a part of the black experience.
And when people tell you that you need to understand,
they're not exaggerating that issue.
They're not exaggerating that problem.
You need to hear them.
You need to become more educated about it.
And I mean, I think that just has to be said,
and it's difficult for us to talk about this sometimes,
even with each other.
And those important conversations haven't been had.
With that in mind, I think it's important
to have those conversations.
I think it's important for more of us
to open up even to each other.
And I've really appreciated those of you.
Who've taken the time to listen to me.
Those of you who've taken the time to reach out to me,
those of you who've taken the time to check on me,
because you know I struggle,
and I really do just want to say that I appreciate it.
And I'm trying to keep my composure as I film this,
because it really is that hard.
And you need to understand how hard
this is for people to talk about.
And,
so I wanna move to the next topic.
So the coronavirus,
a friend of mine lost her grandmother to the coronavirus.
Two distant relatives that I've met,
but I'm not very close with on my father's side,
have passed from the coronavirus.
I know people who have personally suffered
and recovered from the coronavirus, the coronavirus is real.
Coronavirus is real, and it's still a problem,
and it's still spreading.
I know that it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
And the thing that I would say to anybody watching this
is that if you have young people at home,
if you have kids at home, if you're around young people,
if you have elderly people,
if you have parents that you care about,
if you have people in your life that are medically fragile,
that have auto immune deficiencies, that have asthma,
that have respiratory issues, then be responsible as hell.
Be responsible as hell and don't be selfish.
Okay?
And also, I wanna point out the fact that many people
because they struggle financially,
many people in this country live in poverty.
Many people don't get properly diagnosed.
Many people have undiagnosed invisible,
underlying illnesses, preexisting conditions
they don't even know about
because they don't have healthcare coverage,
and because they can't take the time off
from work to go to the doctor, all right.
So you might think that people are fine,
and that people because they're not physically
showing you that they have a disability,
or an illness, or you know, it's like people
walk around every day and they look just
fine and everything like that.
Cancer, diabetes, any number of issues, okay?
Don't take people's health for granted.
Don't take your own health for granted.
Don't assume everything's gonna be fine,
because when it's not, it's bad.
I've lost too many people in the last five years
to not really be frustrated with that issue.
So,
what can we do as content creators?
You know, I've talked to a lot of you,
and a lot of you have been in the situation
that I've been in.
It's been extraordinarily hard for me
to even work up the ability to post content.
It's been mentally and emotionally exhausting.
What I've been focused on is I've been focused on my work.
I've been focused on clients.
I've been doing my coaching calls.
I've been doing the other things in my business.
People rely on me.
My team relies on me to do work, and to pay them.
My clients rely on me for help with their business,
and with their struggles.
And so I show up for them, I show up for them.
It takes every ounce and every inch of discipline
that I have right now to not just curl up
in a ball and just cry every day.
And I really want to,
and I've talked to a lot of you about this
it's been hard, but we do the hard things.
We do the hard things, we show up for people,
we stand up for people.
We do what we know we have to do, even when it's hard.
If you're a content creator, I really think
that you need to use your platform responsibly.
I think that you should be posting right now,
because I know that people like me need you to post.
I know that as important as the conversations
that we're all trying to have right now,
which I don't want you to hijack those conversations.
I think post, but maybe not promote right now
is probably for the best.
I think posting your content
so it's there for the people who need it,
and so it's there for the people
that you support and that rely on you.
I think that that's important.
But I also think for people like me,
people who struggle sometimes with their mental health,
we need your content,
and we need you to give us something to look forward to.
I need some of you so that I can get through my day.
And so I'm going to be a little selfish here,
and I'm gonna ask you to keep creating,
and to keep doing the things that we need you to do,
and to the best of your ability,
to the best of your ability, but to do it responsibly
and do it thoughtfully during this time.
And that I think that maybe you post, but not promote.
And so you give the ability and the platforms
where we're having important conversations,
that you elevate the voices of others,
that you speak on your own feelings,
honestly, and earnestly,
and that you also seek out being more educated,
and you seek to hear other people, and other points of view,
and that you educate yourself as much as possible,
and open yourself up to these conversations.
But I still want you posting content.
I don't want to silence you.
And I don't want you to feel that you can't, you know,
put anything out there because I think it's still important.
There are people who need what you provide,
and what you put in the world,
because we need to know that a world exists outside
of our pain, and outside of our trauma,
and outside of our sadness.
We need to know that we're not living in absolute darkness.
We need to know that the world offers us
more than pain, and cruelty, and hurt.
We need those voices.
We need those moments.
We need those stories.
We need something more than what we have
to look forward to every single day.
And so we need you to create,
we need that more than we've ever needed it.
I need that more than I've ever needed it from you.
And so I just ask that you do it thoughtfully,
that you do it responsibly,
that you put your best out there.
And that you remember that not everyone
has the opportunities that you have,
and that you use it responsibly.
I'd encouraged more of you to use your platforms,
to raise money, to do good in the world,
and to put out messages of meaning that matter.
But also to show people that there's still
joy for them to be had.
All right,
so those are my thoughts.
That's where I'm at with this right now.
And I wanted this to be more concise.
I wanted it to be more articulate.
I wanted it to be better than what it is,
but this is the best I can do right now.
I'm struggling with content right now.
I have a back catalog of things that I've filmed,
that I haven't found the strength to edit,
and that I have struggled with whether,
and what is the right time?
There's a lot of things I have up in the air
that I've pushed back.
And I think that that's appropriate right now,
but this is the video that I needed to make.
This is the video that I needed to put out at this time.
And I want going forward to do my best
to be there for you, and to give you
what you've always come to expect from me.
And to give you my very best,
to help you through this difficult time,
to help you pursue your goals,
to pursue your dreams, to build your skills,
to find the means to provide for your family,
to provide and to take care of yourself.
And right now more of you probably need that than ever.
The massive rampant unemployment,
the job losses, the uncertain future.
I know that there are things you need from me.
I know that I can help you and I want to,
but I'm trying also to find the strength
just to get through the day sometimes.
And I do appreciate your support in that.
And I'm doing everything I can to get back on track for you.
'Cause I know it matters.
(downhearted music)
So yeah, I need you guys to just do your best,
know that I'm here for you,
and I appreciate you being here for me.
And more than anything,
I need you to go out there and I need you to create
something awesome today.
I need you to put every ounce of good
you can into the world.
And I want you to just always try to be better
than you were yesterday, all right?
Take care.
(downhearted music)