You know what it is, b*tches — Thug Notes! And this we keepin it epic with Homer’s Odyssey.
Sh*t gettin real up in the kingdom of Ithaca. King Odysseus been gone for almost 20 years,
and even his son Telemachus and sexy wife Penelope ain’t heard a peep about where he at.
Since errybody figurin he dead, 108 shady hustlas start mackin on Penelope
so they can get a crack at some of dat royal poontang and crown themself king.
Apparently, Odysseus been stuck on some island where he's been p*ssy-whipped by the goddess Calypso,
who been all up on his junk.
But all the Gods up at Mount Olympus tell Calypso she gotta take Odysseus off the short leash
so he can get his ass home.
Odysseus sets sail for Ithaca, but the Sea God Poseidon got a stick up his ass
and drops a nasty storm on my boy. Odie shakes off that hater, and with the help of the gods,
makes it to the shore of Phaeacia, where he starts vibin with the King and Queen bout his travels.
He tells em about the time he punked a cyclops named Polyphemus.
Odysseus told this fool that his name is “Nobody,” gets him crazy drunk,
and shanks him in the eye when he’s passed the f**k out!
So now when Polyphemus say that “Nobody has blinded me,” all the other cyclopses be all like
“Whatchoo yappin bout, man?”
Turns out the cyclops he wrecked actually be Poseidon’s son, and the God of the Sea is all butthurt about it.
So that's the reason it’s taken Odysseus almost 10 years to get home from the Trojan War.
Finally Odysseus makes it back to Ithaca, and with Athena’s help, disguises himself as a nasty hobo.
Later, Penelope decide she gonna give herself to whoever can string Odysseus’s bow
and shoot an arrow through 12 axe-heads.
After Odysseus wins the contest like a boss, he reveals himself to everybody.
Then he goes straight postal on all dem haters tryin to get freaky with his woman.
Once Odysseus done stackin bodies, the people be all like “Odysseus, what the f**k man?"
So just when Odysseus bout to start messin again, Athena steps in and tells everybody
“Chill baby! I don’t want no drama!” Thanks to the gods, Ithaca is at peace
Doin the nasty with bangin goddesses, layin a whoop on Cyclopses, and stickin it to all-powerful divine beings
ain’t no thang for Odysseus, cuz everyday he hustlin.
Now it ain’t only the muscle that givin Odysseus true OG status. He also got mad street smarts.
Whenever some fool steps up to Odysseus,
he able to juke em by lying his ass off and rockin different disguises.
For example, by giving a cyclops a fake name and dressin like an hobo when he back in Ithaca,
he able to get the jump on all his ememies. Folktale playas call this motif “The Trickster.”
But even someone as hardcore as Odysseus ain’t always in the driver's seat.
Cuz sometimes he’s behind the wheel, but other times, he’s riding bitch in the god’s whip.
This brings me to one of the poem’s main themes:
Is it the gods fault that bad sh*t happens on Earth? Or is humanity responsible for all that mess?
Peep this quote from big daddy Zeus, the King of the Gods:
"Mortals! They always blame the gods For their troubles, when their own witlessness
Causes them more than they were destined for."
Who’s to blame for O-Diddy bein gone for so long? Was it his own doin since he blinded Poseidon’s son?
Or was Poseidon just bein a seriously backwards dude?
Now you can’t flow bout Odysseus without gettin the lowdown on the story of Agamemnon,
who also tried to get hisself home after the Trojan War,
cept when he got there, he found his woman hot in bed with some other playa, who straight ghosted his ass.
But lucky for Odysseus, his woman ain’t like that.
He got one of the flyest biddies on the planet, who slangs her own brand of trickery.
She say she can’t shack up with no sucka til she done weaving some cloth.
But erry night, she undoes what she did during the day.
This fox manages to keep these cats in line for 10 whole years while Odysseus tries to get his ass home!
And it’s that righteous endurance that make her just as heroic as Odysseus himself.
So if there’s one thing that Penelope, Athena, and other ladies prove —
it's that even a Greek hero as bad as Odysseus ain’t doin sh*t without a woman.
Yo thanks for watchin Thug Notes. Subscribe, check out my other videos, and tune in next week homeboy.