I can't look at this anymore next photo. today I'm going to share my style evolution how my fashion
choices have changed and how my confidence also changed along with my fashion sense
clothing and fashion can be such a powerful tool that can empower you and really help you express
yourself in a way that you can't put into words and looking at my past outfit um I really do have
no words it's a journey y'all it has been y'all are about to hop on the magic school bus okay
like I said before um I have no words I was 22 years old in this photo y'all I was
literally wearing like little boy clothing from
goodwill like I would seek out little boy clothes oh my gosh
in my mind I was convinced that I was like the best dressed in the room that I oh I look so cool
you know like oh my gosh everybody else is basic but bruh this is not even on the ph scale anymore
so this was my very first beautycon and I had like a meet and greet with a brand I was in a situation
where I was like oh god I gotta dress my absolute best and this is what I wore tie dye with checkers
you know what though I am gonna lie the opposite contrasting socks that's that is a move okay I was
wearing this in the vip lounge where there were very famous influencers there was like freaking
liza koshy and like patrick starr and I saw drew barrymore too but you know what's crazy I did not
compare myself to anybody there I didn't feel self-conscious not even a little bit I was so
confident and so comfortable which is honestly very admirable. You can tell I'm still going for
like you know that little edgy feel but it's a little bit more polished and a little bit more
refined and you know what's crazy about this photo billy eilish liked this photo
I ain't lying I ain't lying I ain't lying call me a tiger because I ain't
lying okay watch I'ma show you I'ma see if I can still prove it
to this day I have no idea how she found this photo I think it came up on her for you page
maybe and she saw it and double tapped it I don't know that's insane
this is when my teddy fresh era began I wore it so much that I actually got the
attention of ethan and eli klein and ethan actually tweeted that I am a fashion icon
I'm 24 years old and I'm still rocking you know the baggy man's clothes but my fashion sense
definitely became more refined and more polished and I'm not gonna lie this was actually a really
good year in my opinion I think I pulled out a lot of really sick fits however this is the year
I hate the most because of where I was mentally so I would constantly say oh I wear baggy clothes
because that's what makes me feel most comfortable and most confident and it that was true I did
feel comfortable and confident but I was not comfortable and confident enough in my female body
and you know showing my femininity I was dealing with pretty intense internalized misogyny as well
as religious trauma you know because I was taught that you know if a woman enhances her femininity
then she's being a sinner so I would intentionally you know wear the baggiest clothes I could get to
cover my body because I didn't want to you know I didn't want to be like other girls although my
tomboy face had a lot of emotional baggage it also helped me to break my dependence on the male gaze
and it also helped me to become comfortable with my masculinity so now I find myself being 100
comfortable in my femininity and my masculinity and I'm comfortable across the whole spectrum
it wasn't until we approached 2020 that I was able to do a lot of self-healing
I am now mentally healthy enough to be able to support other women in a positive way
so throughout 2020 I just kept pushing those boundaries of my comfort zone and you know
experimenting with my femininity and finding more comfort and confidence and what it means for me
so part of my healing process was experimenting with my femininity look at this photo oh my gosh
I look so good I would wear that again I wore this to this really big fancy ad council dinner
in new york city and I actually put this together myself it is three separate pieces of clothing
so I bought the black dress separately then I bought the white bodysuit separately and then
underneath I wore white leggings gucci call me up look at me being a fashion designer
so my resolution for 2021 was to create a capsule wardrobe a capsule wardrobe consists of
very carefully selected items to create endless combinations with the smallest
amount of clothing possible it really helps you to fall out of that consumerist
cycle of just having so many clothes with nothing to wear literally collecting dust in the corner of
your closet a capsule wardrobe really helps you to actually wear the clothes that you are buying
and so far I love my capsule wardrobe it has made me a lot more conscious and intentional
with the pieces of clothing that I buy and I actually have thrifted 95% of it but it
also really pushes me to be more creative with the items that I own and I find myself creating really
fun and different outfits that I actually have a lot of fun time doing like this outfit right here
it's so good the jacket is thrifted the pants are thrifted the shoes are from nordstrom and
the t-shirt is from known supply they're simple items but when they're put together
the look of it is just so timeless and that brings us to my current phase which is the haircut phase
this is my latest post on instagram again see that simple black top simple trousers with a
simple belt that is so easy to replicate but it just looks very clean it looks very put together
and it's a look that's still gonna look good in the future and in terms of my confidence this
is the most confident and comfortable that i've ever felt in my life I'm 26 years old now and I
can honestly say like wow I have healed so much I have grown so much like all the past insecurities
and baggage that I had i've been able to unpack and process and really heal from and move forward
from and I feel like it shows not just in me as a person but also in the way I dress and I
think that's why fashion is so powerful because it really is a way for you to put your insides
on your outside so if you find yourself having a weird relationship with clothing where you know it
makes you feel uncomfortable or it doesn't really help with your confidence I highly recommend just
experiment honestly just keep experimenting with styles and look at pinterest and instagram there's
so much amazing inspo on there so you can try different types of styles and aesthetics and see
what works for you and what makes you confident and comfortable and that is my style evolution and
confidence journey I believe in you you got this you are worth it and never give up on yourself
you