master this simple principle and you will master the art of persuasion and
influence stay tuned hey this is Damon from NLP gym bringing you cutting-edge
neuro linguistic programming tools and techniques so that you can create the
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what I'm about to give you is a very simple understanding but don't be fooled
by its simplicity this is something you can meditate on for the rest of your
life I'm still meditating on it and I'm still going deeper and deeper with this
understanding and that is basically this your communication verbal and nonverbal
is always shaping the perception other people have of you okay so digest that
while I start to unpack this when people say just be yourself what does that mean
to you or what does that really mean what are they really saying because
there's this idea that if you just be yourself then that takes care of
everything now I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't be yourself but just being
yourself is definitely not enough not only for persuasion and influence for
almost anything so what is really just being yourself well I'm going to
demonstrate that right now I'm going to just be myself right now are you ready
for this okay here goes what did you think how was it it was pretty amazing
wasn't it no it wasn't it wasn't amazing at all and you certainly wouldn't keep
watching this video if I just stood there and was myself the whole time
unless maybe I was a gorgeous model which I am not so you're not going to
keep watching this video if I just stood there being myself and this is the
problem it's good to be yourself being yourself means you are connected to your
values what's important to you and you're congruent with that meaning what
you say what you value is aligned with your
behavior or rather your behavior is aligned with the things that you say and
the things that you value and that's all really good but that doesn't mean that
you're putting yourself out there that doesn't mean that you're being
persuasive that doesn't mean that you're shaping the perception of other people
have a view that way according to your values because if you're not
communicating that effectively verbally and non-verbally then people aren't
getting that and so real quickly what I mean by non-verbally we actually
communicate more without words than we do with words and that's part of what we
study in NLP is calibration and sensory acuity which I have a free training on
if you go to my website NOP - Jim calm you can get free training on sensory
acuity and calibration so we're communicating far more than we are
verbally but verbal communication is very important - that's the linguistic
the El and NLP the linguistic part and this is one of the reasons why I love
learning and practicing NLP is because NLP is a communication model and when
you learn NLP and you practice NLP which you're basically learning and practicing
is how to communicate more effectively with your words but also with your body
so when you learn an LP you are becoming that more effective communicator who
better understands how you're shaping your perception and other people's minds
and how to be more conscious and more intentional about that so the more you
understand this the more control you have over this so think about it like
this if you were just yourself and you're not communicating effectively
people aren't going to know who you are they're not going to know what it is
that you value and they're not going to know that your behavior is congruent
with your values and that you're a solid person who is themselves and
uncompromising you have to have you have to have a way of communicating that so
think about it like this I can start a business in my basement
but if I don't market that business who's gonna know I even have a business
and if market that business and if nobody knows
that I have a business nobody's gonna buy anything from me so as communicators
we need to communicate who we are effectively to other people so that they
have the perception of you that you want them to have now this is like I said a
simple understanding but it has endless depth to it the more you can understand
this the more you can understand how you're shaping your perception of
yourself in other people's minds this is the game
changer this changes everything yes persuasion and influencing
techniques are important but this is bigger than all of that all the
techniques combined the techniques are basically ways to help you understand
how you're shaping other people's perception of you so practicing those
techniques is one way that you can get in to get in touch with this and to
understand it it's also understanding people's feedback verbal and nonverbal
so you're communicating verbally and non-verbally you also need to be
watching the nonverbal communication which is feedback that people are giving
you and you also need to of course listen to what they're saying verbally
when it comes to being yourself I think most people really don't even know what
they're saying when they say that when they give that as advice to people when
I say just be yourself I don't really think they understand what they're
saying and when someone thinks to themselves I'm just going to be myself I
don't think they really understand what that means either so get clear about
that first what it basically means is you know your values and you've aligned
your values or you've aligned your behavior with your values
that's what being yourself is and you're not compromising that so if you're being
yourself it means you're not compromising your values and your
behavior doesn't contradict your values and it doesn't contradict what you're
saying so if I say one thing and I do another okay I'm not being myself first
be clear about that then understand that the way that you communicate
shapes the perception other people have of you and this is really important to
understand because the more you keep this in your mind and hold this in your
consciousness as you communicate the more your start going to start to
understand what is it your what is it the perception people have of you and
you want to be open to that feedback now some people get a little testy about
this and they feel like they're being judged but that's not it at all you need
to open yourself to this communication open yourself to people's feedback and
some people get upset or they feel judged or they think oh that person's
wrong they have the wrong perception of me take responsibility for that take
responsibility for that person's perception of you because something you
communicate or some way that you communicated helped shape that
perception of you so sure their perception of you might not line up with
your perception of yourself but who is really right this is a hundred percent
subjective there is no one who can step in and be a judge and say this is the
correct perception of you you can't judge that and other people can't judge
that so it's purely subjective which means the best thing to do is to
completely take this on as your responsibility if someone has a
perception of you that you feel is incorrect take responsibility for that
and then work toward helping shape the perception you want them to have of you
now some people might say well that's manipulative but it's gonna happen
anyway they're going to have a perception of you and it's going to be
based on how you communicate to them so why leave this up to chance don't leave
it up to chance be in control of your communication and be as intentional with
your communication as you can possibly be so that you do shape other people's
perception of you when it comes to any type of persuasion and influence whether
that's dating sales or any type of negotiation what you want to do is you
want to shape that person's perception of you in a way that fits with their
needs without compromising your own values so I'm going to say that again
you want to shape that person perception of you in such a way that it
fits as closely as possible to whatever need or needs they have without
compromising your own values so this way you are being yourself but you're
intentionally and consciously shaping their perception of you so that you can
make the sale so that you can get the phone number of
the date or so that you can create a solution or negotiation or whatever deal
it is that you're working on so you don't have to compromise your values you
don't have to be some flashy salesperson who says all the right things
throwout perfection that's never going to help out here just as best you can as
consciously as you can as intentionally as you can help shape that person's
perception of you to fit that need it's not about accuracy of course you want
them to have an accurate perception of you but ultimately when it comes to
persuasion and influence that's not really your objective know what your
objective is if it's a sale if it's getting a date if it's solidifying a
deal that's your objective not accuracy but as long as you stay true to your
values it will be accurate and you can be yourself and you can persuade and
influence like a master check out my website NLP-gym.com there you will
find some free NLP training as well as some free hypnotic inductions that you
can download to your tablet your phone or your computer and access immediately
also check out NLP Gym on Facebook there I post in real time whatever it is that
I'm up to and I also have a free private Facebook group you might want to check
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