Are you trying to leave a narcissist, or even thinking about it, and you want to mentally
prepare for that? Well, then you're in luck because by the end of this part two of my
conversation with Melanie Tonia Evans, you're going to know exactly how to do that.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung, top 1% attorney and the best selling author of the books, Negotiate
Like You Matter and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide. I've helped thousands of people
go from lives of drama, trauma, and chaos to step into lives of freedom, possibility,
and purpose, and I do the same thing for you right here on this channel. So what are you
waiting for? Go ahead, hit subscribe, smash that notification bell. That way you'll get
notified when I upload brand new content. This is part two of my conversation with Melanie
Tonia Evans on how to mentally prepare to leave that narcissist. Without further ado,
let's dive into part two. Can you share some of the experiences from
your members who successfully won court settlements and custody cases against narcissists?
Sure. Just to backtrack a little bit, what NARP does is those primal fears that are triggered
and hijacking your entire being and making you hand your power away, it picks those up
through your cellular being, literally releases them and brings in source, which is wisdom,
power, solution, connection to the field, and even miracle. What happens is there's
this massive shift from I'm on the defense and I'm being smashed and obliterated to I
am now that bright light, in my power, in calm, logical solution and inner knowing and
power that I'm looked after. That's when people have had the most incredible results. Like
you said, Rebecca, it's more usual than unusual. In fact, it's inevitable when people get to
that level. A hundred percent. Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah. Look, it so is. That's what's so exciting about our work, because you're producing that
from your side, I'm producing that from my side, and you get that much light in a practical
legal way and in an emotional, somatic subconscious way to come together, I don't think narcissists
are going to stand a chance, personally. No way. There's no way that they could possibly
stand a chance. With using your NARP program along with my S.L.A.Y. program, there's no
battle that can't be won. I mean, there's so many times that people have said to me,
"I've tried for three years, we've been doing litigation for three years," or, "I've been
fighting him for five years," or seven years or her.
Totally, I see it all the time too. You know? Yeah. I just say, "Well, then obviously
you haven't created the right leverage yet," because narcissists are scared so you've just
got to find that spot that's going to scare them enough. It always comes back to threatening
that source of supply that means the most to them in some way.
Absolutely. Do you know what? That's where exactly. You have the ways to practically
eliminate that, and NARP gives you the emotional balance and power to completely cut off narcissistic
supply. It works. But yeah, look, I'd love to share with you, we have hundreds of stories
in the community and they're coming up every day about people having legal battles because
we've got tens of thousands of people waking up in our community. But just to share some
highlights with you, Angela was a really good case because she was married for 22 years
to a very malignant narcissist, very vengeful, very nasty. She was in a two-year high-conflict
litigation with him and she was getting smashed. She lost her business, she had to declared
bankrupt on a corporate and a personal level. He was horrible, he was using the kids as
pawns. She'd been 22 years indoctrinated into him being the powerhouse that kicked her down.
She was trying to please and hold it together and eventually she couldn't.
Now, when she got on NARP, she had so much anxiety and fear and injustice of what he'd
done. She released all of that and it was only a few weeks after she ... They'd separated
obviously, but she was in her power and her calm, he capitulated and settled out of court.
He just actually came forward and said- Amazing.
... "I've had enough of it." This was when she had no more emotional trauma at all, she
was at peace. He contacted her and said, "All right, I'm willing to give you what's fair."
He settled out of court because, now I know why this happens because I see it all the
time, she had cut that emotional cord of him sucking supply. It was done, so he had to
move on. Oh, I love that. I love that. Love that story,
amazing. It's full on. Now, the gorgeous thing is,
after 22 years, she's now living in a beautiful new home, engaged to a guy that she met three
months after she started working with the NARP program, who she says is the love of
her life and he's the most respectful, kind, honest, real relationship that she's ever
dreamed of. Also too, things have healed with her kids because the narcissist used them
as pawns as they all do. Yeah. I mean, the beautiful thing about your
program is that people will not go back and end up with the same personality type again,
because now they're healed. Now, as you said, they've cut that cord. In the divorce world
I say that, which is true, there's 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second
marriages, and 73% of third, because people go back to that same personality type again.
But the beautiful thing about NARP is that it cuts that pattern.
So true. You'll no longer do that, you'll recognize
the signs. You'll heal whatever was not healed within yourself that caused you to be in the
space to be a target of a narcissist. You'll just be like Wonder Woman with the gold things
on your wrist or the Superman. You'll never allow yourself to be in that position again.
Totally. In your experience of helping people around
the world from narcissistic abuse, what would be your top three recommendations for people
who have to face their abusers in court? Okay. My top three from my side of this fence
is definitely about learn to detach first of all. We know logically that when you try
to get a narcissist to act decently and treat you lovingly and be respectful, the more you
try and push back and try to, it's like trying to get a five-year-old in an adult's body
to act decently. The more you try, the more abuse you're going to get. You have to learn
to detach and start healing, start taking your life, your emotions, your soul back.
I just want to explain, I just want to share, because this is such a good example of this.
This is a woman, her name was [Prima 00:08:33]. This speaks to the people that are really
dealing with malignant narcissists, dangerous narcissists, very scary narcissists. Prima,
she had a situation with high-level abuse where she took her kids and ran for her life
because things, so, so bad. At first, she still had contact with him and he was threatening,
and he was pushing for the kids and custody, and he was doing all that intimidation thing.
She was really hooked in there, trying to get him to calm down and settle down [inaudible
00:09:13] and stop being abusive and stop being violent, and things just get worse and
worse and worse. He was sucking her in and abusing her because he was getting fed with
narcissistic supply. The reason I'm talking about a high-level
narcissist, she was like, "Well, if I don't bring him back, if I don't text him back,
he's going to come and get us." That's an extreme example, but I'm just giving you the
example of when you keep hooking back with a narcissist trying to get safety and decency,
you're just feeding them and you're putting yourself in more hot water.
Okay, so she had to learn to detach. Then what happened with that, which is what happens
with a lot of people, when you're in the fight, it's somehow keeping you alive, but when you
step out of it, it's like you can be hit by a freight train because all of the abuses
of yesterday, last week, last month, last year, all have a chance to catch up because
you're not in the fight on the battlefield. You can get hit with aftershock, which is
horrific. Usually that happens after you stop contact. You really need to work with that.
Nobody had told me about aftershock and it nearly killed me. It would send me back. It
sends people back all the time because they don't understand it.
When you're hit with aftershock, this is where NARP is so important. As she said, Prima,
in that stage, she was so manically depressed and hit with trauma that she could barely
make a cup of tea or get out of bed, let alone look after kids. That happens to people all
the time. It really does, it's so sad.
And you would see that. You would see people crawl into your office like zombies.
Oh yeah. Yep, I do. They can barely brush their hair, let alone
get to a meeting. That's how bad this is. When Prima started working with NARP, she
was able to get her soul back, eat again, be a mother. Then when she got enough power
and healing within her, she went on the offensive and she filed for full legal and physical
custody. She also said any visitation has to be supervised, she asked for a full custody
evaluation. Her tactic was to be as severe as she could to protect the children. She
went fully offensive and she kept working on herself. When she had her hearing come
up, the most weirdest things had happened, Rebecca, when he got delayed and everything,
he didn't get to the court case, she got awarded full custody at that hearing.
Amazing, amazing. [crosstalk 00:12:04]. And as she said, the
judge said to her, "I'm granting you everything that you've asked for and you don't even have
to pick up the phone. That's it." I love it. I love to hear those stories and
I love for our listeners to hear those stories, because it's so important for people to understand
that there is hope, that you can turn it around. It is possible. Everybody who's turned it
around was where you were at one point, thinking I can never get out of this, there's no way
I'll ever get out of this. They've all been there and they've all been able to turn it
around, those people. I have a fun question to ask of you before
we get into the final couple of things here, which is, I want to if you had a spirit animal,
what would be your spirit animal? Oh gosh. Do you know, look, what popped to
mind was a leopard. I just see this leopard, so maybe I need to research what a leopard
means. I don't know. Yeah, well, probably really ferocious, but
also- I would say so. Maybe strategic, ferocious,
maybe- But gentle when need be, probably really protective
of their children. I mean- I'm definitely going to Google it when we
get up this call. Yeah. I like to ask that as just sort of like
a fun question. Okay, what's yours? I'm interested, what's
your animal? I've been thinking about that recently. I
always used to say tiger, but then when I looked it up, there's this website that you
can look up what spirit animal means, when I read the description, I'm like, "No, I don't
think that's me." I think it's more like a bear, gentle at times, but I have four kids
and I definitely am like mama bear, like don't mess with my kids.
Bears are protective. I love that. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know, that's what I
think. You're the first guest that's actually asked me what mine was, by the way.
You have a free gift that I'm so excited to share with our listeners. Tell us all about
it. I do. I have a free 16-day course. That helps
you a lot, because at the start of that you have two really comprehensive eBooks, which
are talking to you about the different levels of narcissism, what you're dealing with, and
also too, the detachment process of no contact or modified contact, what that means, what
you need to do to prepare to heal. Then you get an email every day, which is going to
be about the most intricate parts in understanding some of narcissistic abuse recovery. As well
as I have a free webinar that I so want you to come into, because there I take you through
a two-hour intensive journey of self-partnering, turning inward, and also getting relief and
clarity immediately, because I'm going to take you through a Quanta Freedom Healing
to get trauma out and start bringing peace, power, and grace in. You'll feel it in your
body immediately. I love it. I highly recommend, everybody,
please get her free gift. Please subscribe to her YouTube channel, take her 16-day course,
go to her free webinar. Use these resources. They're there for you, use them. I highly
recommend them. I will drop links to all of it below this video and also in my podcast
description so that everybody can get access to this. You don't have to suffer alone. There
are resources out there that can help you, so take advantage of them.
Where can people find out more about you and your programs?
Yeah, sure. If you go to MelanieTonia, T-O-N-I-A, evans.com. Also too, if you've had enough
and if this really resonates with you about the deep inner healing from the inside out
to become that light that is empowered, sovereign and authentic, and impervious to narcissists,
check out NARP, because that is the program that has changed people's lives when nothing
else did, worldwide, as well as my own. That's melanietoniaevans.com/NARP, but your find
all the details on my website. Also too, you'll find all the details through the 16-day free
program. I love it. Thank you so much for joining me
today. This was a fantastic conversation and the first of many more to come between us.
What a joy. Look, Rebecca, I'm so excited to be working with you because I know how
much you can help and I know what we can create for people together.
Absolutely, thank you again. Thanks so much for joining me on this part
too of my conversation with the incredible Melanie Tonia Evans. If you liked this video,
give it a like, give it a share, drop me a comment. I'd love to know that you're here.
If you haven't subscribed, subscribe, hit the notification bell. If you want my free
Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet because you're getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
you won't want to walk in without it. You can just get that at winmynegotiation.com
or at the link below. If you want to have support, a place to vent,
another place to heal, another place to help you mentally prepare to leave that narcissist,
come on over and join me in my free private Facebook group, it's called Narcissist Negotiators
With Rebecca Zung. We'll drop a link to that below as well.
Thanks so much for joining me today. I will see you in the next video. Remember that today's
a great day to start negotiating your best life.