Hello my wonderful friend! Today's video is on the no contact rule. Why it does not work and
what to do instead. Have you ever really cared for someone, but you felt her pulling away from you?
Or maybe you were really really trying to attract her but it just wasn't working?
And so you heard about the no contact rule and thought maybe you should give it a try. Stop.
Before you do anything you need to understand why that is a very short term result and in the long
run it will push her away from you and cause you to mess up this relationship. As I mentioned I'm
going to be sharing with you what to do instead so make sure you watch to the end of this video.
Before we dive in, be sure to subscribe, ring the notification bell, and give me a big thumbs up. My
name is Melannie. I'm a Christian dating coach for men and I teach you how to find, attract,
and to keep the girl of your dreams. The best part is as a certified coach I never teach you mind
games. Instead, I teach you about science. So make sure you hit that subscribe button. Now there are
two types of relationships that you can have. The first type of relationship you never really feel
safe in that relationship. You're always a little worried that maybe she'll stop loving you. You're
always a little worried that maybe she'll cheat on you or maybe she'll lose interest in you. And
you don't really feel like you can be yourself in that relationship. Maybe you've felt that before.
It's miserable, right? You always have to pretend to be something you aren't in order to keep her
around. That's the first type of relationship. The second type of relationship is not perfect
but it's pretty amazing. You are 100% you she is 100% her and you love each other
like crazy. You laugh together, you cry together, you make memories together, and
you feel completely safe with each other. Which type of relationship would you rather have?
The second one, right? You want a relationship that's full of love and happiness and respect
and that lasts a lifetime. Here's what you need to know. The no contact method will only get you
the first type of relationship, the relationship where you feel like you can't trust her, the
relationship where you feel like maybe this isn't ever going to work, maybe she's never going to
love you for you. If you use the no contact rule you cannot have the second type of relationship
that is full of safety and love and respect. Why is that? It's because the no contact rule is a
mind game. Whenever you begin a relationship with mind games it will maintain mind games
through the entire relationship and ultimately it will end because of mind games. But if instead,
you want that happy lifelong relationship, you can have no mind games. Is this making sense? Do you
see the difference between the two strategies, the two types of relationships? Here are three reasons
why the no contact rule does not work and what to do instead so that you can
have that happy lifelong relationship. So the first reason the no contact rule does not work
is that it is manipulation. A lot of people claim that the no contact rule is based on
psychology. And honestly, it kind of is, but it's because it's manipulative, it is manipulation.
This means that it is a toxic tactic. And if you are using a toxic tactic or a toxic strategy
that makes you the toxic person in the relationship. That's not what you want, right?
You want to remove those toxic habits, like right now. The truth is, I will be 100% honest with you,
it may get her attention if you do the no contact rule. It legitimately may because something's
different. And as humans, we tend to notice things that are different, right? However it will
not get her respect. Getting her attention without getting her respect is a waste of time and it will
ultimately push her away from you. So what do you do instead? What I teach my clients in my program
is how to instead get her attention and increase her attraction for you by being authentically
you and really building her respect for you. You don't want conflict in your relationship, right?
Instead, you want loyalty, you want trust, you want to know that your heart is safe with her. And
you want to know that she still gets butterflies when she looks at you and you still want to get
butterflies when you look at her, right? That is only something you can do when there's respect in
the relationship and when you're authentically you. If you always have to wait so long before
you can talk to her, or if you have to pull away so she'll chase you, you're not authentically you
because who wants to do that? Can you imagine being married to someone and, "okay, I have to,
you know, I have to not talk to my wife for a few days so that she'll still love me." Can you
imagine a relationship like that? It would be terrible, right? You want to be with someone
you can make awesome memories with and you can talk to all the time and who will always love you
for you? right? That is why instead, you need to make sure you know how to increase her attraction
for you by being authentically you. Now you may be thinking, "okay, Melannie, I understand this, but
what do I do if she's pulling away? What do I do if I feel her pulling away from me?" Here's what
you need to know. Women do not pull away from men who have what they are looking for in a partner.
They just don't, unless she's a toxic woman, but we'll get to that in just a second. If she sees
that you have what she's looking for in a husband then of course she's not going to pull away. She
wants to fall in love with you, she wants you to be her dream man, she wants her search for
her dream man to be over, she wants it to be you. And if she sees that you have those traits,
that's amazing, that's what she wants, there's no reason she would pull away. This is why I teach my
clients in my program what a woman is looking for in a lifelong partner. Things like your attitude,
your maturity, your confidence, your mindset. Those are the things that make her fall in love
with you and want to spend her entire life with you and not pull away from you. So by now you
can see that mind games don't work, right? And by now you can see that what I teach in my program
never teaches you mind games, right? In all honesty there is nothing else on the internet
like this which is exactly why I created my program so you would have somewhere to go
to learn these things without any of the mind games. To learn more about my program I have
a free masterclass for you. Tap the link in the description below now to watch that. It's
completely free. Learn more about that program and how you can get these skills so that you
don't have to worry about these mind games and a relationship that crumbles. Instead,
you will be empowered to know how to find her, how to attract her, and ultimately how to keep her.
So watch that free masterclass to learn more about my program by clicking the link in the description
below. Okay, the next reason why the no contact rule does not work is that it's a guessing game.
You never really know how she's going to react. You never really know if she's going to pull away.
You never really know if you pull away is she going to let you walk away or is she going to come
back to you? You're always guessing what to say, what to do, how to do it. You're always having to
go back to this specific cheat sheet, if you will, and try and figure out what you're supposed to do.
And it's exhausting. But not only is it a guessing game for you but it's a guessing
game for her too. What this means is you have a relationship that has no trust, it has no loyalty,
it has no respect, like I mentioned. And instead, you want to build a relationship that thrives
on trust where you can really count on each other. Something I'm very careful about when I
teach my clients is I never give them an exact script. "Oh, text her this. Oh, say this. Oh,
use this line." The reason for that is, again, you can't be authentic, right? You can't really be
you because you're always following the script. What instead I teach is how to just understand
how to make it comfortable and automatic so it's really just a part of who you are
instead of this script. And the no contact rule is a script, which is part of why it's a mind game.
This is why learning good dating and relationship skills and really social skills, how to handle the
relationship, how to make it flow naturally and automatic, that's why all of this is so important,
like you learned in this video. Which by the way if you haven't seen yet you need to watch it.
There's a link in the description below. Okay, by now the no contact rule makes zero sense,
right? Like zero sense. And you're seeing why it really is detrimental to a relationship, right?
If you are against mind games, if you are for happy relationships, let's start a movement,
guys. Comment "yes" in the comments below. Again, if you're sick of mind games and you instead
want that happy safe relationship where there's loyalty comment "yes!" And if you have any
ideas for future videos or any questions for me please leave that in the comments
as well. I love hearing from you so thank you for leaving me awesome comments. Okay, the next thing
you need to know about the no contact rule, this is very important, are you paying close attention?
The no contact rule only attracts drama queens. If you've been following my channel for a while
you know that sometimes we talk about toxic women, and their real, and toxic relationships,
and how harmful they are. Only toxic women are attracted to mind games. As a matter of fact,
toxic women are very attracted to mind games. They love the drama. When a man plays a mind
game with a toxic woman she goes, "Oh, game on," and she becomes very invested in creating more
drama. Often, if you pull back from, or you do the no contact rule with a toxic woman,
she's not about to let that happen because it's ego. "Oh my goodness, he can't walk away from me.
So I'll pretend I'm attracted to him, I'll get his attention again, and then I will dump him." Guys,
it's sad, but it happens constantly. A classy woman, a high quality woman, on the other hand,
she won't tolerate that for two seconds. Why? Because she's looking for a mature relationship.
Initially if you try the no contact rule on her it may initially get her attention. "Oh,
what's going on? Is something wrong?" And she'll notice that something's different,
but then she'll go, "whoa! He's playing mind games with me. I don't want a husband who plays
mind games with me. I don't want a husband who pulls away from me." And so she'll walk away.
This is why the no contact rule will actually push away classy, high quality women while attracting
toxic women. Something I'm careful to teach my clients about in my program is how to spot
a toxic woman. Because, you need to know this, toxic women prey on good men. They just do. That
is the sad reality. This is one reason why toxic women will teach you to play the no contact rule
because they love the drama and they want to create more of it and they want to justify it.
So this is again why I teach how to spot that, how to avoid it, and then what to do instead
to attract those classy women. And the way you do that is with the skills I mentioned earlier.
Those things that a good woman is looking for in a man. If you haven't yet seen this video
and this video they will teach you a little bit more about that. And again, to learn more about
my program make sure you watch my free masterclass through the link in the description below. Bottom
line, you need to make sure you understand how to not attract those toxic women with
awful mind games and instead attract those classy high quality women. The kind of woman who's going
to want to spend her life with you and totally give her heart to you. Okay, let's sum up again
why the no contact rule does not work. The first reason is that it's manipulation. And anytime
you are using a toxic strategy it means you you can only create a toxic relationship. The second
reason is that it's a guessing game. You can't feel safe in a relationship like that and neither
can she. You want a relationship instead that makes you feel comfortable and safe and secure.
And the other reason the no contact rule does not work is that it only attracts toxic women. And if
you're looking for a happy lifelong relationship you do not want a toxic woman. Thank you so much
for watching my amazing friend! If you learned something new and enjoyed what you saw be sure
to give me a big thumbs up and subscribe and ring that notification bell if you haven't yet.
I want to hear from you in the comments. Comment "yes" if you are sick of mind games and are
committing to learning what you need to know to instead have that happy lifelong relationship. And
if you have questions or comments or suggestions for future videos please leave those in the
comments as well. Do you have a friend who doesn't know this about the no contact rule? If you do,
please share this with him. It's going to save him so much heartache. If we're not yet friends
on social media, we need to be. There links in the description below. I do share exclusive content in
my Instagram stories, so especially make sure you follow me there. Thank you so much again
for watching my amazing friend and have an amazing day! [blooper beep] Hello my wonderful friend!...
I always freak out right there. "What am I talking about? Ah!" That's how it goes in my head.
Okay. [dog barking] That's my dog. It's fine. He gets a little excited. I do too sometimes.
Okay, I don't even know what's happening. It scrolls so fast. Okay. [laughter] That was fun.
Did you notice my shelf is different? [singing] Ah! That was a pathetic "ah" but it's okay.
It looks nice, huh? I'm still working on it so it'll probably look different in the next video.
It needs some tweaking, but it looks good. Okay, moving on. Okay.