Have you ever wondered what's going on inside the mind of that quiet person in the corner?
Well, if they're an INFJ, there's probably a whole world of thoughts buzzing around.
INFJs are one of the personality types on the Myers-Briggs spectrum.
They are usually deep thinkers and very sensitive to how others feel,
but they might not always say what's on their mind.
So let’s explore 5 Reasons INFJs Rarely Share Their Thoughts.
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Complexity of Emotions
INFJs have the capacity to experience emotions on a profound level.
However the complexity and depth of these emotions are not always easy to put into words.
This is in part due to their most dominant function;
Introverted Intuition( Ni). It is a function that enables INFJs to process
information in order to comprehend ideas, patterns, and possibilities.
Ni loves to dive deep into life instead of skimming the surface.
For INFJs, this means spending time soaking in all the details of their experiences.
They're like detectives looking for hidden clues in what they learn, and this takes time.
Because they want to understand everything deeply, they need to process a lot before they speak.
This is especially true when it comes to their emotions.
For an INFJ, an emotion is not merely a feeling
but an experience that encompasses thoughts, values, and expectations.
INFJs often fear simplifying or reducing their emotions to mere
words might not do justice to their true feelings, and this can create hesitancy.
It’s like trying to describe an entire world with a single sentence. The inadequacy of language in
capturing the full scope of their emotions can lead to a reluctance to even make the attempt.
Deep Desire for Authentic Connections
INFJs yearn for meaningful relationships.
They have a deep seated desire to connect with others on more than just a superficial level.
INFJS are often considered old souls for this reason.
They are constantly in search for relationships that go beyond the trivialities of everyday life.
They seek individuals with whom they can share their deepest thoughts, values, and dreams.
However, INFJs often find themselves feeling like islands in a sea of people.
Even in a crowd, the sense of isolation can be overwhelming.
This paradox of loneliness is not due to an aversion to people but rather
a disconnection from the type of interactions that typically characterize social gatherings.
Crowds tend to indulge in small talk and casual conversations.
For an INFJ, who craves depth, these interactions can feel shallow and unsatisfying.
This disconnect is further exacerbated by the difficulty in finding like-minded individuals.
INFJs, with their unique blend of empathy, intuition, and idealism,
often feel that few can resonate with their way of thinking.
It is not that INFJs are elitist, but rather that they seek a certain
depth and authenticity in relationships, which can be rare in our shallow world.
The culmination of this craving for meaningful relationships, the loneliness in crowds, and the
difficulty in finding like-minded individuals often leads INFJs to retreat into their shells.
Guarded Trust
INFJs natural inclination is to seek connections that are built on genuine understanding and shared
values.This can lead them to be highly discerning about whom they open up to.
An INFJ's trust is something that is not given lightly.
Now, one might wonder why INFJs are so guarded. This can be mostly attributed to their heightened
sensitivity and empathy. INFJs often feel emotions more intensely than others,
and this heightened emotional awareness makes them more vulnerable to emotional pain,
especially if someone breaches their trust.
As a protective mechanism, they often feel a need to build walls around themselves.
They may be great conversationalists, but they’re always closely guarding
the inner sanctum of their emotions and thoughts.
As time progresses in any relationship,
be it a friendship or romantic, an INFJ meticulously observes and evaluates the
intentions, authenticity, and reliability of the other person. Each interaction,
conversation, and shared experience is like a litmus test that is quietly assessed.
It's crucial to note that this assessment is not judgmental in
nature but is more about gauging the compatibility of values and depth.
Perfectionism and Self-Criticism
INFJs are idealists at their core. They have a clear vision of how things should be.
They aspire to realize these ideals, and in pursuit of this, they often set exceptionally
high standards for themselves. Seeking out purpose, meaning, and depth in all that they do.
This pursuit often stems from a genuine desire to make a positive impact,
guided by a moral compass that is deeply entrenched in their values.
However, the journey from ideals to reality is fraught with challenges.
The real world is often not in sync with the perfection they envision,
and this disconnect can be a source of immense frustration for INFJs.
As they try to bridge the gap between their ideals and the realities, they often engage in
a relentless inner critique. This self-criticism often spirals into self-doubt, as they wonder if
their ideals are too lofty or if they are somehow inadequate for not being able to actualize them.
INFJs are often their own harshest critics. They can easily pinpoint where they have not
measured up to their own standards, and this internal scrutiny can be paralyzing at times.
It is not uncommon for an INFJ to ruminate over perceived failures,
endlessly analyzing what went wrong and how they could have done better.
Sharing their thoughts and aspirations can often be daunting for this reason.
There is a fear that others might not understand the depth of their ideals,
or worse, that they might criticize or belittle them.
For an INFJ who is already grappling with self-criticism,
the prospect of external criticism can prove too much and so they may become
even more guarded in sharing their thoughts and emotions.
Avoiding Conflict
INFJs, by nature, have a strong inclination toward harmony in relationships. This preference
is rooted in their empathetic nature and keen sensitivity to the emotions of those around them.
The desire to avoid conflict is often a driving force behind their communication style and is
a key reason why they might choose to withhold sharing their thoughts openly.
Harmony for INFJs is not just about the absence of conflict;
it is about creating an environment where people feel understood, valued, and at peace.
Being acutely attuned to the emotions of others, INFJs can often sense tensions and discomfort in
interpersonal interactions. This sensitivity makes them highly considerate communicators.
They weigh their words carefully, not just for their truth
but also for the emotional impact they might have.
However, this careful approach to communication has a flip side.
While it can be helpful in preventing unnecessary conflicts,
it also means that INFJs often find themselves in a mental rehearsal space.
They may play out conversations in their heads, gauge potential reactions, and reframe sentences
to ensure that they don’t inadvertently cause distress or conflict with somone. This process can
be mentally exhausting and, in some cases, lead to INFJs opting for silence as the safer path.
But tell us, do you find yourself relating to these tendencies.
Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.