Alright folks, you are watching a brand new video from your favorite breakup coach, BREAKUP
BRAD…
I hope you’re ready to talk about forgiveness, because that’s what this video will be all
about.
Are you excited yet?
Let me be a bit more specific: I’m going to share with you some tips and tricks for
helping your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend to forgive you for whatever dumb, hurtful
stuff you did to them in the past.
I don’t think it really matters WHAT you did or how it went down, what you really want
to know is how to undo your sins and have your ex forgive you, right?
I really want to make you some kind of outrageous promise about how I’ve got this crazy trick
to suddenly make your ex forget entirely about anything you did to hurt them in the past.
But you know what…
I can’t lie, there’s really no overnight quick fix that’s going allow you to re-write
history, or that’s going to magically lift any feelings of guilt from your shoulders.
It usually takes time, so you’re going to need to be patient.
Obviously, if you’ve done something seriously stupid, like cheating on your ex… well,
then it could be a matter of months or even years before they’ll be willing to truly
forgive and forget.
Unfortunately, it really depends on the person, and on your past mistakes…
some people can forgive almost immediately, others hold a grudge for a long time.
Either way, be prepared to be patient, and even though the tips I’ll share with you
in a second really do work and can help your ex move past things more quickly….
It may still take some time before they’re ready to fully let go and forgive you.
Hey, let’s start with tip #1, which is going to make you all groan and say “duh, no shit
Brad!”... but seriously, this is really important and you’d be surprised how many
of my clients haven’t done this yet…
What is Tip #1?
Apologize to your ex in a serious, heartfelt way.
Ideally, you want to do this in person if you can, although that’s not always possible
or wise depending on the situation…
regardless, this needs to be a truly heartfelt and genuine apology where you show him or
her how terrible you feel about what happened, and how sorry you really are.
Don’t fake it, don’t be overly emotional or fabricate tears or anything like that…
just sit down, look them in the eyes, and say how truly sorry you are.
Already done that?
Great.
Then you need to listen closely to the next tip...
Tip #2 -- once, or maybe twice at most, is enough apologizing.
Sure, it’s OK to say sorry 3 or 4 times over the course of a few weeks if you really
did something seriously dumb that you’re now deeply regretting… that’s only natural,
especially when you feel so guilty about it.
But if you keep pleading and issuing apology after apology, you’re going to do two things:
First, you’ll look like you’re too desperate and broken without your ex… you look like
you’re a shattered person that can’t function until your ex accepts your apologies, and
that’s not going to help you get them back.
And secondly, even more important, you’ll actually detract from the sincerity of your
initial apology.
If you keep saying sorry over and over again, your ex will get irritated and it will actually
have the opposite effect…
so just go with one or two really heartfelt and sincere apologies, and leave it there.
Tip #3 -- Promise you won’t do it again, and explain the lesson you’ve learned.
Even if you’re not together anymore, when you issue that heartfelt apology we just talked
about, you will also want to mention that you’ve realized how idiotic your behaviour
was, how you’ve grown as a person from this whole experience, and most importantly…
make it clear that you’ll never, ever do it again.
Promise once from the bottom of your heart, and then clear your conscience, move on, and
actually live up to that promise.
Tip #4 -- Give details and an explanation, if you must.
Alright, this one is really common when the mistake you’re apologizing for is related
to infidelity…
if you cheated, chances are that your partner or your ex is going to ask questions and demand
more information about who what how when and why.
Which sucks, because you don’t really WANT to reveal all that stuff if you can avoid
it… but if pushed, you really do need to briefly answer their questions in an honest
way, making sure your answer gives off an undertone of regret.
Don’t lie, but if you can answer honestly without having to divulge the most graphic
details, that’s usually wise… but if they demand details, give brief and to-the-point
answers until you feel the important parts have been covered, or until they seem satisfied
with your explanations.
By the way, if you decide to lie and make up certain parts of your story, you’ll probably
get caught and end up killing your chances of your ex ever forgiving you.
Most people are terrible at lying, quite frankly, and every lie you tell has to then become
true forever… that will end up biting you in the butt eventually, so just cut your losses
and be honest.
That’s usually the best policy, and it’s also the one that won’t leave you feeling
even more guilty than you already do.
Tip #5 -- Allow your ex time and space if necessary.
Look, I can’t really give you a clear strategy when it comes to how much space to give your
ex after you’ve apologized and done the things I just talked about.
It depends on how bad your sins were, it depends on your ex’s personality and your history
together, and it depends on how well you’ve handled things since the situation blew up
on you.
But look, if your ex says they don’t want to talk to you at all, you need to respect
that.
At least for a while.
Don’t try to hang around after you apologize and make small talk, don’t try to act like
everything is back to normal if your ex is still furious… let them have some time alone
to cool down, let the memories fade a bit, and then you can begin re-building things
from once emotions have settled down a bit.
A quick warning here… if you get defensive and act like your apology and your promises
not to make the same mistake again are the only thing that’s necessary for life to
go back to normal, the way it was before you did your bad deeds… that’s going to end
badly.
You screwed up, at least your ex certainly thinks you did, and you can’t get upset
if they don’t forgive you as quickly as you might like.
Just back away slowly and quietly, as if you were face to face with a grizzly bear, and
slip into the darkness until things have cooled down or your ex reaches out and re-opens more
normal lines of communication.
Tip #6 -- Get on with life, even if it means being on your own for now.
Um, yeah, so at this point the easy thing to do would be to climb into a hole and never
climb back out again… and if you’re really feeling guilty for what you’ve done, if
you can’t believe how stupid you were and wish more than anything you could un-do your
idiotic actions or words…. that’s natural, but it’s not going to get better by you
shutting yourself off from the world.
In fact, do the opposite.
Yeah, you feel like shit, but you need to power through this tough stretch and keep
yourself as busy as possible, especially in terms of your social life.
Go out with friends, re-connect with family and make new friends….
Do anything but think about your ex and that whole situation, because you’re now at the
point where there’s nothing more to be done.
So use the time productively, and grab life by the balls.
It takes a strong, confident person to pick themselves up so quickly after making a big
mistake and potentially losing someone you love… and regardless of how things end up
in the long-run, it can’t hurt to get out there, occupy your time with fun social activities
or with productive stuff at work or school.
Tip #7 -- Subscribe to my YouTube channel and comment below.
This is perhaps the most important of all the advice I’ve shared with you in this
video… in fact, subscribing to my channel has been found to increase intelligence, attractiveness,
and life expectancy dramatically.
What are you waiting for?
Show me some love by liking, subscribing, and sharing your thoughts or questions in
the comments below so I can read and reply….
I love hearing from your guys, especially when you say nice things about my shirt or
my hair or my Ex Factor program…….
Thanks for watching, thanks for your support, and here’s hoping you find forgiveness soon!
Catch you next time.