(laughing)
- Not in a million years, what the fork!
(upbeat music)
- Hey guys, I'm Jared.
Today, we have our good friend, Kelsey.
Sweet angel, human, gift from the gods.
Minecraft Comes Alive is a mod that allows you
to interact with villagers in a brand new way.
Very similar to a game you're very familiar with.
- Sims! - The Sims!
You got it.
Our mission today, find a town, woo the townpeople,
have as many children as we physically can.
- As a person who almost exclusively seduces people
in video games, I'm ready to woo and woo hoo!
(upbeat music)
- Hello, friends. - Hi, it me!
- It's Chelsea, Kelsey, which one is it?
- Wait, that's not Chelsea.
Chelsea has blue eyes.
- Oh, I'm a horrible 100 baby fan.
- No! - For shame, for the shame.
- Okay, what do I do now? - Okay, anyway.
- Oh my gosh, it's nighttime.
Nighttime's really, really scary time for me.
I need to go inside. - Yes.
Okay, so we spawn--
(Kelsey screaming)
(relaxing music)
- Come get me! - Why are you not on fire?
Let's just punch him,
two v one, this is a good way--
- How dare you not be on fire.
I will punch you.
- This will give us an astounding story to tell
to the people we attempt to woo
later in the game. - Yes, yes!
I will woo them with my heroics.
(Jared laughing) Yes.
Yes! - We've done't it.
(hands clapping)
Oh.
- I didn't look at your elbow, apparently that is the key.
All right, so let's go find some people to seduce.
Let's go take Chelsea out on the town.
- Let's just fly, we got to-- - Wait, what?
- We got to find this town, double tap space to fly.
(Kelsey gasps)
♪ I'm soaring ♪
- You're so close (laughs). ♪ Flying ♪
- Hello goat.
Two goats!
They could woo hoo but we can't woo hoo them,
that's not okay.
- I don't wanna woo hoo a goat,
thank you for the offer. - Good job, good job!
That was not an offer, that's not what that was.
(laughing)
It's so difficult to find some eligible bachelors
in this wide
vast world. - Honestly, that's my life.
- Welcome to a town.
I haven't named it yet. - Wow.
- If you come up with a name, feel free to let me know.
Also feel free to not--
- Baby Town, let's go.
- Welcome to Baby Town USA, population me, Kelsey,
and hopefully someone who wants to marry us.
- Let me in, I wanna have your children!
I mean Chelsea wants to have your children.
(Jared laughing) This got weird.
Look, it's an empty home, is everyone dead?
- Did everyone die? - What town
did you bring me to?
- I brought you to a-- - Did Zach kill
all of my potential paramours?
- I mean it definitely got a little aggressive last episode.
(gun bangs)
For the love of all things matrimonial, show me a human.
- [Kelsey] Oh, teleport me.
- There's one man. - I'm ready to go!
- There's one man.
- Lucas! - Lucas.
Oh there's two men!
- [Both] Jeromy.
- I like him, he's an archer.
- Okay Kelsey, get over here!
- Hi, how do I do it?
- So you just right click-- - Oop!
- [Jared] Do not, don't hurt Lucas!
- All right, I wanted you anyway,
Jeromy. - Right click on them.
- Okay I'm gonna, okay. - You can just float
above him. - Hi, interact.
Flirt. (Jared laughing)
He said, "Oh my!"
Shake his hand, you're so polite.
- Wow, Jeromy loves you! - Thanks, Jeromy!
- [Jared] So you can keep track
of how you're doing. - Can I hug him?
Uh, why?
How dare you, Jeromy! - He's not ready.
- All right, he clearly likes the jokes, I'm gonna go in
with a lot of joke, go in with a lot of chat.
Oh, how are you, Jeromy?
Oh, what's that you are holding?
Is that a bow?
Wow you could strike me in the heart yesterday.
Not in a million years, what the fork!
- Maybe, do you wanna go try to find him a gift
he might like?
I think that might be the fastest way to get people
to like you is give them things.
- Excuse? - Just like in real life.
- You know what, it's over, guys.
I don't like these ones, I want new people.
- Yikes, well, slim pickings, it looks like.
Hello human, where's the door to this building?
- Can I give them flowers?
- Sure. - Do they like flowers?
- [Jared] Thanks!
Joelle, how thoughtful!
This isn't a good gift.
Okay, Joelle only likes red flowers.
- Oh, F you, Joelle.
- [Jared] (laughs) Kelsey.
- Oh what's up?
(gasps) Micheal!
- Ooh! - Hi, Micheal.
- I need to come watch this.
Oh, Micheal's charming. - Yes, I suppose the weather
is nice today.
Oh, there's more than one!
We found them all, they're all inside this house.
- Astounding. - Hi, that's funny.
Did you hear the one about the cows?
No, Micheal, I didn't hear the one about the cows.
Why are you giving me that?
I don't want that, why would I?
What exactly did you do?
This is not that hard in Sims.
Let's try the poppies, it seems like people liked poppies.
Let's give a gift of a poppy.
- How thoughtful! - How thoughtful, thanks!
- [Jared] They love the popps.
- A gift for me, how nice!
They're popp hungry.
We got 18 hearts, let's chat. (Jared clapping)
I'm doing just fine, hit my toe when I woke up, though.
Oh, I'm sorry, girl.
30 hearts, woo!
(Jared whistles) Let's us shake her hand,
why, hello there!
All right, now I'm gonna mix it up again.
- Wow, there's a real connection happening here.
Everyone's just staring at you standing
on this (laughs) table.
- Good, I love attention.
Do you think I should flirt? - Go for it.
- Wait, you told the baker the same thing.
- No, she didn't! - No, I didn't!
- No, she didn't!
(creepy music) That went, that took.
- That's like half my hearts.
- That was such a risk and it so didn't pay off.
- I'm just gonna give her unlimited poppies.
All right, gift,
poppy, poppy, poppy, poppy, poppy, poppy, poppy, poppy, oh!
(gasps)
- Flirt with that girl!
- All right, now we're gonna flirt.
What the fork, if you can't let me flirt
with you now, Krissy, I don't know what you want.
- We have Krissy potentially wrapped around our finger.
She has so much love for you.
Maybe she just needs a ring on it first
to really know that you care, to know
that you really mean it. - I don't have to do that
in The Sims.
- So, we have to go craft her an engagement ring.
- [Kelsey] All right, Krissy, I'll be back for you,
my warrior princess!
- We're off into-- - You better not leave!
You know what, I'm gonna do something crazy.
- What are you doing?
- I'm just gonna lock them in there.
- [Jared] (laughs) Perfect.
All right, lock them in, for their own safety.
This is for your own good.
- Yeah, it really is, all right, now they can't get out.
I have, apparently, one piece of wood.
I don't know where the rest of them went.
- I got many sticks. - Kind of annoyed.
- I'll share my sticks with you my friend, don't worry.
- All right, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, yay!
♪ Wooden plick-axe ♪
Plick-axe? - Plick-axe,
I love a good plick-axe.
- Me too, I'm just going in hard.
I'm like here we go, coming in. (screams)
- Scared the poop out of me, why you gotta do that?
- I didn't do it on purpose.
Oh, he's gonna kill me, ooh, but I got that.
- If we're gonna do this the real way,
we got to kid up a little bit better I think.
I wanna be a true romantic, questing for my love.
- The problem with me as a human is that I get distracted,
and so now I'm doing something else entirely.
- Kelsey! - What is that, it's a birb?
(Jared laughs) Why is there a birb here?
And I oop, what?
- [Jared] And I oop.
I made a stone sword.
- Oh, can you make me a stone sword?
- Yeah, I'll just, yeah.
- [Kelsey] Just make it for me.
- I'll just make it for you. - And give it to me.
- You got it friendo! - Thank you, friend!
- And out pops a sword.
- Aw! (Jared laughing)
- Oh, there's a little bad guy.
Excuse me, excuse me, little man,
little man, please don't hurt me.
Oh, please don't let me die. - I hear bad stuff.
- Little man, no, no, no, no, no, no--
- [Kelsey] Literally what is that thing?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know what it is!
It's a new monster that's from this.
(Jared sighs heavily) - Did you die?
- I'm at half.
- (screams) Who goes there? - Stop screaming--
- (screams) Who goes there?
- You're scaring the crap out of me.
- Have at thee!
(Jared laughing)
What the fork am I, what is this, what am I fighting?
It's literally a drawer, it's a drawer that is attacking me,
like what the fork!
And he spit out chest, what is this place?
- It's a chest creature, this is paradise.
Welcome to paradise!
- Look, it's an animal.
Can I just like get an animal and give it to her?
That's what they did in the olden days,
instead of rings. - They did.
- What a crazy, humans be crazy.
- Yeah, these people want too much, all right?
My Sims just love a little bit of attention, and then boom!
Babies! - Babies!
- [Kelsey] What happened?
- Check your inventory.
- Gold!
Wow, look at that, I found some gold.
It came out of the sky.
- Trapped in a ring, we're gonna get that lady on our side.
We're gonna get one baby, at least!
- Oh, I'm gonna have a baby!
Wait, do I have to take care of the baby once I have it?
- No. - Sick.
- See, all the work in The Sims is post baby.
All the work in Minecraft is pre-baby.
Wait, no, don't, nobody leave, nobody leave.
- Are you letting loose my girlfriend?
- No, no, no, no no.
- [Kelsey] Because--
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- I locked her
in there on purpose. - No, she's still here.
Krissy's in here.
Are you ready? - Teleport me, I'm ready.
Beam me up, Jared!
- Bloop. - Sick!
- She's been beamed.
- Suck it, Micheal.
All right, Cassy, listen.
(soft music)
Hey, what up.
Can I give you...
(soft somber piano music)
- Why?
- Cassy! - No, don't kill Cassy!
Why doesn't she love you?
I thought that this was true.
- I thought so too, we have 117 hearts.
- How is that not enough?
How is that not enough?
- Oh it's a wedding ring, so I have to do an engagement ring
before I do a wedding ring, Jared.
- It said that you could, okay, well, okay.
- Did you just give me?
- Maybe I just gifted you 64 diamonds.
No big deal, Jared the gallery of jewelry.
- I have a lot of wedding rings, but no engagement rings.
That has to be it, right? ♪ No one to love you ♪
Yeah, that's gotta be it. - Well way to sing it!
♪ Find me somebody to love ♪
♪ Somebody ♪ ♪ Somebody, somebody ♪
♪ Somebody ♪ - We should wing-man
each other sometime.
- We should, I'm hopelessly alone.
- Me too!
That sounds like a lot though, maybe we should just stay in.
Here's the engagement ring.
- [Jared] Love is love!
What's love? - All right, let's go try
to propose to my bae! - Oh my god.
Yo, you cannot be here
for these engagement photos, zombie!
- Get that zombie out, I'm gonna lock everybody in.
Missy chat.
- Her name is-- - My friend, (screams)
she just ran!
- Oh, oh my god. - She's running away
from me, Missy!
That's not Missy,
where's Missy? - Oh my god.
- Wait, where the fork did Missy go?
- Her name is Krissy!
Oh no, we lost her.
Did she go back inside?
- No!
- [Jared] Did the zombie kill her?
- I don't know, I'm gonna pick someone else.
You're dead to me, Krissy, you're literally dead to me.
- She's dead. - Wait, she's inside again.
- How? - I'm gonna give you
a gift of a wedding.
What made you think I would like this?
Oh I did it to the wrong person.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. - What's happening?
Can I kill everyone who's not Krissy?
- I mean, honestly, ooh hey that's me, aw!
That's me! - That's not you.
- Hold on, I can get to Krissy now, I can get to Krissy.
Stop it!
Krissy just said,
"Is this supposed to be a gift?
"No thanks."
- Why doesn't she want you?
Can you give her 100 flowers?
- Yes.
♪ I'm gonna make you love me, Krissy ♪
♪ I remember your name now and I'm just gonna ♪
- Wait, we are already married.
(upbeat music)
(Jared clapping)
I should've brought rice, man, that was exciting!
- It was all exciting and none of us knew that it happened.
Can I kiss you now?
I love you baby, woo! - Love is real!
- Okay, let's flirt a little bit.
Winks, you still got it.
Yeah, I do!
- It's finally happening!
- Let's hug!
Wait, don't leave, you're warm.
- Get out of here man, give these people some space.
- Might give her another kiss.
I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world.
Krissy, oh wow, you're just killing--
- This is gonna be your home now.
- [Kelsey] This is my home, please leave.
- I can't kill this woman.
(character groaning) There we go, okay, bye.
- Krissy. - Have a good time!
- Okay, we're gonna procreate now.
(screams)
- Is that woohooing?
It's happening, did you just do it?
There's a baby
in your inventory! - Where's the baby?
Wait, it's in my inventory, and she just left the house.
We procreated, Krissy immediately left the house.
(Jared laughing) Name my baby, Olive.
- [Jared] It's a boy!
- Oliver. - Ver, perfect.
- Baby boy, Oliver, he's two minutes old.
- Two minutes old, I think-- - And his parent is me.
- So we're gonna have to make like a nursery, or hotel,
or like a big town home
or something. - I just want a pen.
- Just a baby pen?
- Yeah, I wanna put my baby in its pen.
- Well okay, while we're waiting
for these babies to grow,
we should go start building that pen.
- Missy no, I mean, Krissy,
oh no, Kris, they're all coming out here.
Krissy, I gotta go.
Krissy, I'm sorry, bye!
(upbeat music)
Yeah buddy, let's go, let's go!
Let's go, let's find somewhere to put my babies.
Ride, Maximus, this is where my babies are gonna live.
- Kelsey's baby pen.
- Let me grab some building tools for my baby pen.
I would like it to be, ooh, iron bars, yes.
All right, excuse me, Macimus, Macimus, I would like
to put iron bars here, please.
- You're making your baby pen a baby jail?
- Yeah, I thought we we're on the same page with that?
- I was not on that page
until just now. - Maximus!
Wait, what are you doing over here?
- I'm putting some soft baby carpets down.
- Oh, well I'm gonna just keep building my baby jail,
don't mind me.
- Are you making it really small?
- Yeah, they're babies,
they don't need that much room.
- Why don't you love Oliver?
- Of course I love Oliver.
He's my first born, he's my everything.
But if you think
that Oliver needs more than this, you lying.
If you think about it, it's more of a play pen.
- Oh sure, a wrought iron baby pen.
- Me and Oliver are going on a mission.
All right, Oliver, you and me. - Kelsey and Oliver.
- We're gonna kill this creeper.
Bloop!
Oh, sorry. - You ruining my house!
- Hey, Oliver and I are just getting done
what needs to be done.
Oliver, go, kill him, kill him, Oliver, kill him.
Why won't he die?
- Oliver doesn't do a lot of damage.
(Kelsey cheers)
- Oliver and I killed that creeper!
My sweet baby did such a good job!
- Wow. - Oh he's ready
to grow it says, wait, can I put you in here?
(gasps) Where'd he go?
(both screaming)
(Jared laughs)
- Oh my god, he's so little!
- Why is he so cool?
He's got like a swoop
and he's so tiny. - Wait, hold on a second.
- I need a roof, I need to protect him at all costs.
- Okay, babies are secured from the top.
Home sweet home!
- Listen, this is how Oliver
would want it. - He's so small.
- He's so small.
- [Jared] There you go.
- Now Oliver is at last safe. - Safe and sound.
- Good night Oliver. (Jared laughs)
I love you, you're a little emo child.
I'm gonna get-- - Whoa, he's so fast!
- I'm gonna give him a little chat.
Can we go camping please?
Yes, Oliver, next time we'll go camping, I love you!
All right, well I feel pretty happy about my one baby.
- That was a rollercoaster.
How would you say that compared to The Sims?
- I think there's a learning curve,
but in the end it all came down to spamming,
which is very like The Sims.
- I love baby Oliver, I love his baby shack.
- Wow he's creepy, but like fun?
- Both?
(upbeat rhythmic music)