Spread these cheeks!
Hello underachievers!
I'm here with my friend Phoenix!
- Hello. - Pheenips, like the nipples.
We are today going to be reacting to homophobic Tik Toks.
- Tik Toks of the homophobic sort. - Homophobia.
What is your favorite thing about homophobia? Quick.
It's valid.
Wait.
Who's your favorite homophobe?
My favorite homophobe? Oh, God.
Myself.
Who's mine?
The first person that came to my head was Jensen Ackles.
Just because I know... I just know.
I asked you guys for some homophobic Tik Toks.
I am bisexual, but very much mostly into men.
- What are you? - Same.
Just to get that out of the way.
- We are not homophobes ourselves - Maybe in the future.
♪ I hope no one heard that ♪
He couldn't even word the lyrics.
♪ I hope no one heard that ♪
♪ 'Cause if they did, we gon' be in some trouble ♪
I feel like...
I don't know what I feel like.
You ever feel that? When you say "that's gay" in front of a gay person.
I don't think I've ever said "that's gay".
Unless it WAS something gay.
- When a man says something that's... - "Unless it was something gay".
They got a point. I feel bad!
I've made so many videos about hating straight people,
and I don't!
- I don't hate straight people! - No.
I didn't like it.
This is what christians do?
Why don't christians T-pose?
Why aren't you christians T-posing?
Instead of people cosplaying as anime characters,
they just cosplayed as like...
- Bible character. - I wonder if that would be a thing.
If like someone did a T-pose and the christian was like:
"That's offensive".
♪ If me and my gang pull up ♪
♪ You better get to running. We on your ass ♪
I don't think anyone's going to be running. I'm sorry.
In like this little cardigan, she's like:
"Me and my gang pull up, you could better start running".
"You better..." What are you gonna do, Becky?
I don't know how to describe
what I find funny about it.
- "Mom do you love me?" - "No".
"You know who wear dresses? F. A. G's".
F. A. G's?!
"So if someone asks me
if I support LGBT, I'd tell them 'yes, I do'.
'Liberty'. 'Guns'. 'The Bible'. And 'Trump'.
Trump 2020 bitches!"
- You lost! - Well, sorry to break it to you.
Drop the 'T', I guess.
"Liberty", sure. I guess we just got lesbians.
"Have you guys noticed that anytime a straight guy on Tik Tok
makes a post announcing what his preferences are,
a bunch of people in the LGBTQ community get triggered?
And say he's rude, discriminatory and even hateful?
And accuses him of only posting it to get a reaction out of them?
Which is a really strange argument,
coming from a whole group of people who fly flags and throw literal parades in the street
announcing what their preferences are.
- Did he never learn about anything... - Ever.
Have you guys noticed that when you're an asshole, people don't like you?
And they get triggered?
But I'm not!
- Why? - Why?
Why you not like me?
She can see the XX chromosomes.
WHICH CROMOSOMES DO I HAVE?
Do I have...
- Females have a pair of XX chromosomes. - OK.
I see those double X.
If you liked a man and then he wore eyeliner, would you stop becoming interested in them?
- "I can't look at you the same". - That's stupid.
Yes!
WHAT?
Is that a type?!
Is Harry Styles a type right now?
- I guess he kind of is. - I guess so, yeah.
Sure you one of them when you like:
"I don't like Justin Bieber".
Yeah, I did say I hated Justin Bieber.
Did say I hated him and then I like,
secretly listened to all his music
on my brother's Spotify.
She had to make sure she didn't like guys in dresses.
- And guys in skirts. - Both of them.
- There's a difference. - When you born, you're born into a dress.
Once you wear a skirt, there's no going back.
That's it. You can't un-skirt yourself.
It's like circumcising yourself.
You've done it! You've gone and cut off your foreskin
and now you have to suffer the consequences.
"LGBT, satanists, nonbelievers, whoever.
Or even if you are really christian! Like, please!
Like it just..."
You can't play Harry Styles on the back of that.
- We claim him. - But the girl got rid of him.
This guy's gotta go somewhere, he's lost.
"Please, like it just dawned on me.
God is really coming so soon
and then, when you say that people are condemning you
or judging you or anything of that sort,
they're NOT!
They're really really not!
We literally care for your soul!"
"I just, I care so much about you".
That like: "I just don't want you to go to hell".
"Let me just love you".
"We genuinely from our heart are trying to help you!
Not judge you or force a religion!
It's not even a religion!"
You can't talk about hell and heaven and say it's not a religion.
WE LOVE YOU!
Jesus Christ...
Please! I like, really please! It's just so in me right now.
But just give it a thought!
Please! Like pray for God to just come into you!"
Pray to him.
That was gay.
"I pray for this every day!"
Where he's coming.
"Spread these cheeks!"
"To show you the way. To show you what's right, what's wrong.
He will show you, please!
It's not too late! It's literally not too late!"
Is he crying?
- Please, wipe your tears. - Just take it.
- Therapy. Jesus... - Yeah.
Therapy works better than coming on Tok Tok and telling the gays
that you care about them.
"But right now, please do it now before it is too late!
I literally just watched the video
of a street preacher getting passed when he's just trying to save your soul!"
Well, I don't understand what this kind of stuff is like.
If you're just like walking around the shopping center
and then this old man just starts shouting like:
"If you're gay, stop it!"
- "You're gonna go to hell!" - Like, what?!
What do you think the reaction should be?
- Like, what do you suggest we do? - Oh, yes.
- I'm always listening. - I didn't think about it until now.
But now that you've just told me that being gay is wrong...
- Holy shit... - I never considered that.
Thank you so much.
"OK, so there are actually many reasons, but I'm gonna name a few.
Number 1 is: You can't get pregnant".
- And? - OK.
I know a lot of people that don't want to be pregnant.
There are also women who can't get pregnant.
Are they also gonna go to hell?
Right. So one benefit of being gay: No pregnancy.
- Not, no [...] trans people, you know? - Yeah.
Now you gotta slip it in somewhere!
"Number 2: Look at the animals.
Animals are doing it right and you're not".
Does she ever go to school?
Does she know that animals are gay?
All animals are gay.
Every... We are the only straight ones.
Also, animals eat their own sh[ ]!
I was cleaning out the rat cage
and I accidentally rolled a rat poo into Scab's mouth and he just swallowed it.
Mice sometimes eat their babies.
Yes! Oh my god, they do that!
They're doing it right!
- You just like give birth and you're like: "Snack". - Classic mouse.
"Number 3: Look at your reproductive systems...
Organs, whatever.
But men have a G-spot in their household.
She just said: "Look at your pussy".
You can put a pee pee up a guy's poo poo
- And he... - And he will... He can come!
Just around the pee pee and the poo poo!
Tell me that is wrong!
That biologically happens,
then you can't just pretend that.
God, was like I'm gonna add something here
and I know you guys aren't gonna like it...
We'll hide something up here and see who discovers it.
- Like, see what happens when they find out. - It's treasure hunt.
Imagine the first person that realized they had a prostate.
"This fits in that. How does this not make sense?"
This fits in that!
So sorry, I didn't even ask!
It's fine. Why would you have to ask me?
THIS FIT IN THAT!
I felt like I was living that Vine.
That witch with the *cuack* finger.
"I don't know. People are stupid nowadays, I swear".
I don't want to be mean, but she talk about herself?
Yeah! That was the one I was thinking of.
I couldn't even remember.
"Nick, why don't you just call people what they want to be called?
It's the polite thing to do.
- I'm sorry, what'd you call me? - Nick.
I'm sorry, but I prefer if you called me 'handsome'".
Would have thought that, by now,
people would have come up with like a more robust,
like excuse not to call trans people their names or their pronouns.
You've had enough time to do it.
"I'm not gonna call you 'handsome'.
Why not? It's not that hard.
Because I don't think you're handsome.
Well, I feel handsome and I'd appreciate if you called me that.
I'm not calling you 'handsome'".
Why is this going on so long?
He's really trying to debunk this, isn't he?
- "Hey Nick!" - "Prefer if you don't call me Nick.
- "Call me 'handsome'". - "OK".
"Are you denying my basic human decency?
I don't have to call you anything you want
just because you want it!
Wow that's pretty rude of you".
Transgenderism debunked.
He got us.
Where are my titties? Where are my titties? I want them back!
I will continue to be bisexual. You?
I think I'll continue.
I've had a think but...
I don't think their arguments were that convincing.
I need to go to bed.
That was the end of the video.
Have a good day, or don't. See you later, losers.
- Goodbye. - [In Spanish] Adiós.
- Adiós. - 'Adiós' in your ears.
Oh, the microphone's here.