Live from the most cost effective theatre
in North Hollywood, the Awardie Awards.
Please welcome minor TV personality Adam Conover!
(single person clapping)
And the nominees for best picture are...
"The Sad British Man."
(applause)
"Room 2: Back in the Room."
(applause)
"That Tom Hanks Movie Your Dad Liked."
(applause)
And "The Rosa Parks Story."
(cheering and applause)
And the best movie of the year is...
(drum rolling)
Not determined by this award. Sorry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes, it is.
Award shoes are how tastemakers
honor important art,
like "Crash" and... better movies.
Yes, we'd all love to believe
that these awards are determined
by objective voters weighing
the artistic merits of each work.
But the fact is, these might as well be the nominees.
Money can't act!
No, but it can make voters act differently.
And to influence them,
studios and networks throw boatloads of money
into what the industry calls
For Your Consideration campaigns.
Oh, I've heard of those,
and I know exactly what they are,
so you don't have to explain them.
But go ahead, have your fun.
For Your Consideration campaigns
are a very specific form of marketing
that's aimed solely at awards voters.
They're not quite bribery, but they're close.
We don't have to pay to see movies.
The studio sent them to us for free.
Oh, this one comes with an iPad.
Or they throw lavish parties
for voters to meet celebrities.
I met Shailene Woodley,
and now we eat clay together.
Not to mentions the ads
the studios plaster all over L.A.
♪♪
You know what? I think he does.
♪ Vote for Leo! ♪
The worst offenders are the Golden Globes.
Only the 87 members of the Hollywood Foreign Press
get to vote, and since everyone in Hollywood
knows who they are, they get campaigned to personally.
One year, Sharon Stone's people
sent us all gold Coach watches.
Wha...
So, uh, yeah, she got the nom.
Holy crow!
This process is such an open secret,
Denzel Washington joked about it on-air
during an acceptance speech.
Some of you may know Freddy Fields.
He invited me to the first, uh,
Hollywood Foreign Press luncheon.
He said, they're gonna watch the movie,
we're gonna feed 'em, they're gonna come over,
you're gonna take pictures with everybody,
you're gonna hold the magazines, take the pictures,
and you're gonna win the award.
(laughter)
I won that year.
(laughter)
And all that advertising costs money.
To win an Oscar,
studios may have to spend up to $10 million.
10 million--
That's Kardashian wedding money.
I mean, these things are nice,
but not $10 million nice.
So, what's the point?
You gotta spend money to make money.
Ahh! Oh, Mark,
this is Pete Hammond,
awards columnist at Deadline Hollywood.
Hi, Pete.
Hey, be careful, Adam, I'm in deep cover.
Oh, shh. Sorry.
Look, it's all about the bottom line.
There are studies that show a nomination itself
can mean $20 million more at the box office,
and with a win, it can be 35 million and up.
Actually, even a flop movie
can make money with a nomination.
Getting nominated is just good for business.
And winning a major award
conveys something even more important--
prestige and power.
No one was taking Netflix seriously as a TV network.
So we resolved... to win us an Emmy.
We went to the neighborhoods of Emmy voters
and we gave their neighbors $50 each
to put up Netflix lawn signs.
We sent out food trucks
will free lunch all around Los Angeles.
We painted the town with money.
And that year,
we won not only one Emmy, we won three.
So, I took the other two and I melted them down
and made them into rings.
Now, Netflix... (knocking on counter)
is a TV network.
(Mark) No!
Awards matter. Leo ate raw meat.
He deserves to win!
Well, quality can matter, but really,
you've got to campaign.
Studios do all sorts of things now
to get attention from voters.
They have concerts, trips to Vegas.
Nominees will even come to your house now.
Look, spending money doesn't guarantee you're gonna win,
but if you want to have a chance, you'd better campaign.
That's so disappointing.
Sorry. It's true.
Oh, my gosh.
Adam, please hide me.
Here comes Anne Hathaway. She's relentless.
Sure. Sorry.
Come on, let's go, let's go!
Look, I want my show to win an award, too,
so I gotta play the game like everybody else.
That's why this year, I'm giving every voter
a tub of my custom hair gel and a book
of my favorite graphs, called "Graphs"!
You'll have fun with that.
So what's the point?
All the movies and TV shows that I love are secretly horrible?
Oh, no, the ones that get nominated
are still pretty good, but when it comes
to who wins, money talks.
I'd like to thank the Academy for accepting me