Welcome back to the show.
My team was at the inauguration Friday
to witness firsthand the peaceful transfer of Obama's
achievements into the landfill.
And to allow some gloating from the other side.
[OMINOUS NOTE]
Scenes of revelry on the National Mall as Trump's
supporters celebrate his victory,
waving flags, wearing flags, running
jubilantly with flags apparently stolen from small children.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Amidst the euphoria, our correspondents, here
to share in the collective joy.
What is it like to want to be here?
It-- to me, this is a once in a lifetime thing.
It's the only time I've ever wanted to come.
So for you, being here today is
not an exercise in masochism.
No, no.
You seem really happy.
I am extremely happy!
It's the inauguration!
My first one ever.
How does it feel to feel happy?
Happy.
I feel good!
What do you mean?
Yeah.
Why?
Perhaps the question is not why, but how?
How to go on?
This deliciously fresh-faced, barely pubescent Trump
supporter has some wisdom.
Honestly, we're all on this ship together.
And whether or not it's the Titanic, we're yet to see.
But-- for sure, for sure, support the captain, I guess.
He offers solace with his terrifying nautical metaphor,
while this cheerful giant offers a medical prescription.
Take two Ibuprofen.
OK, yeah.
And a hammer.
And put your hand on, smash the fingers.
Smash it and just scream, and go, "goddamn, I hate Trump!"
Excuse me.
Did you just tell me to take two Ibuprofen
and then smash my fingers with a hammer?
Yeah, yeah.
To get through my hatred of Trump?
Yeah, that'll help you.
Some seem to be still grappling with the immensity
of their joy.
Are you happy?
Um, figuratively.
Not literally.
Yeah, um, I guess not as much as I could be.
I-- I'm literally unhappy.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I understand you.
To understand more, we spoke with many Trump supporters,
from young, first-time voters to old-timey, cat burglar voters.
Our question, how did the media--
yes, we see you pointing at us derisively--
how did we get this all so wrong?
There was a saying that I heard.
It says, the mainstream media took Donald Trump
literally, but not seriously.
So they-- they listened to what he said and assumed
he meant what he said.
Well, that-- that's what they thought.
They took him literally.
Yeah.
They took his-- his sayings, and his-- his [INAUDIBLE].
They listened to him.
Well, they believed him.
Indeed, leading us to report what Trump said and did
instead of what his supporters imagined he did.
He's done things behind the scenes
for people that nobody knows about, because they
don't report the good stuff.
They only report the negatives.
Why is he only doing good things behind the scenes then?
Why not show us?
Because he doesn't want to toot his own horn.
He's not a toot your-- he really is not.
He's not arrogant.
He's not egotistical.
All right.
We will leave that without comment.
Because this is your day.
All of you, make merry, revel, crumble food
in each other's mouths in a celebratory fashion,
because you are winners.
OK, Jay and Silent Bob, you're enjoying
bathing in these liberal tears coming down from the sky?
[LAUGHS] It's kind of like a guilty pleasure.
Yeah, a little bit.
Enjoy this guilty pleasure.
But could any of you spare us some words of comfort?
You guys will get through it.
The snowflakes don't melt. You'll get through it.
Randall, you look really familiar.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
You tore me up down in Iowa.
You laughed at me.
He's right.
We first met Randall at a campaign rally
in Iowa, wearing what one suspects might
be his only other t-shirt.
And we did laugh at him.
I really took the piss of you quite mercilessly.
I really mocked you.
Because you won.
Do you want to just lay into me?
Say it. Say it.
Say it.
"President Donald J. Trump."
Say it one time.
Say it.
"President Donald J. Trump."
I-- that's not even that a bad thing to say.
It's just a fact.
Let me hear it!
"President."
President.
"Donald."
Donald.
"J."
J.
"Trump!"
Yes!
"Trump!"
Say it!
Oh!
I didn't say it.
God bless America.
Here you go.
Bye, little snowflake.
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[APPLAUSE]
We'll be right back.
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